Jets Suck -- 2017 Edition (Official): Countdown to Oblivion

[PatsWSB47]

79's right. It's just a preseason game. A regular season game should fetch 5 times as much, bringing ticket prices anywhere from 5 to 10 dollars. Man, these scalpers are ruining football.

 

[Tunescribe]

See, there ya go ruining a funny run of posts.

The stadium fits over 80k fans. That is game 4 of the preseason (always useless). Not to mention it's August 31st at night. That is kickoff to Labor Day weekend.

Now I'm not sure about what NEers do on Labor Day weekend, but I assure you no NJ/NYers want to sit in a stadium and watch a preseason game 4. Let alone 80k of 'em!

There will be plenty of material this year to joke about. Not need to stretch it.

 

[JetFan79]

79's right. It's just a preseason game. A regular season game should fetch 5 times as much, bringing ticket prices anywhere from 5 to 10 dollars. Man, these scalpers are ruining football.

Agreed. Actually I can see prices under $5 in the nosebleed end zones halfway into the season.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Of course!

They pay you to sit on the 50 yard line, lower level, right behind the bench.

 

[JetFan79]

They pay you to sit on the 50 yard line, lower level, right behind the bench.

Or... they charge you a $50k PSL and $700 per game. (Really, that's what the lower level inside the 40ydlns cost.)

 

[Bill Lee]

See, there ya go ruining a funny run of posts.

The stadium fits over 80k fans. That is game 4 of the preseason (always useless). Not to mention it's August 31st at night. That is kickoff to Labor Day weekend.

Now I'm not sure about what NEers do on Labor Day weekend, but I assure you no NJ/NYers want to sit in a stadium and watch a preseason game 4. Let alone 80k of 'em!

There will be plenty of material this year to joke about. Not need to stretch it.

 

[Bill Lee]

Or... they charge you a $50k PSL and $700 per game. (Really, that's what the lower level inside the 40ydlns cost.)

 

[PatsWSB47]

Or... they charge you a $50k PSL and $700 per game. (Really, that's what the lower level inside the 40ydlns cost.)

Don't do it 79. That's way too much for a kick in the balls. We're your friends here. We'll do it for nothing.

 

[RelocatedPatFan]

A couple years ago my wife got me a gift and the conversation went like this:

Me: Honey, this is great! But, if it really should have said JETS.

Wife: Why? The Patriots are your favorite team and you hate the Jets.

Me: right, if I was going to wipe my dirty feet on something, it should be the Jets and not the Patriots.

The gift was a doormat.

 

[1960Pats]

I decided to read a thread that I had saved from the Jete board the night of the SB. The first said it best...

Pats win. Great superbowl! Brady just jizzed over Goodell.

But others were damn good too...

- It's feels almost like the Jets took an extra loss for the year with this ********.
- Please retire. Please retire.
- That was about as enjoyable as getting punched in the balls.
- I dunno.... I can think of times I have had more fun getting punched in the nuts. Then again you have to go to one of those places that services those kind of requests and they're pretty expensive. The cut rate experiences really aren't enjoyable at all.
- What did we all do to deserve this?
- Legit do not want to watch football again until Brady retires.
- It's bad enough that they win, but why do they have to do it in some last second heroic ******** fashion every time.

It can't be easy to be a Jete fan.

 

[Tunescribe]

I decided to read a thread that I had saved from the Jete board the night of the SB. The first said it best...

Pats win. Great superbowl! Brady just jizzed over Goodell.

But others were damn good too...

- It's feels almost like the Jets took an extra loss for the year with this ********.
- Please retire. Please retire.
- That was about as enjoyable as getting punched in the balls.
- I dunno.... I can think of times I have had more fun getting punched in the nuts. Then again you have to go to one of those places that services those kind of requests and they're pretty expensive. The cut rate experiences really aren't enjoyable at all.
- What did we all do to deserve this?
- Legit do not want to watch football again until Brady retires.
- It's bad enough that they win, but why do they have to do it in some last second heroic ******** fashion every time.

It can't be easy to be a Jete fan.

Getting the testicles stomped is a strong and recurrent theme with Jete fans. It appears they are so inherently insecure in their "manhood" they willingly sacrifice that which tangibly symbolizes it in a form of self-hating catharsis. This also explains why KickMe2018 regularly returns to this thread to humiliate himself. It truly is pathetic.

 

[Joker]

Call me Joe "Stomper" Kerr then...I'll mash them pea sized green cojones into a nice puree de puke....

 

[RelocatedPatFan]

Getting the testicles stomped is a strong and recurrent theme with Jete fans. It appears they are so inherently insecure in their "manhood" they willingly sacrifice that which tangibly symbolizes it in a form of self-hating catharsis. This also explains why KickMe2018 regularly returns to this thread to humiliate himself. It truly is pathetic.

It might have the added benefit of stopping them from reproducing too

 

[Bill Lee]

A couple years ago my wife got me a gift and the conversation went like this:

Me: Honey, this is great! But, if it really should have said JETS.
Wife: Why? The Patriots are your favorite team and you hate the Jets.
Me: right, if I was going to wipe my dirty feet on something, it should be the Jets and not the Patriots.

The gift was a doormat.

Therefore, the ideal gift is:

 

[PatsWSB47]

Call me Joe "Stomper" Kerr then...I'll mash them pea sized green cojones into a nice puree de puke....

79's balls?.....you know mosquitoes size balls? Yeah like those but half that size.

 

[JetFan79]

79's balls?.....you know mosquitoes size balls? Yeah like those but half that size.

Just call me Cerrano. I have huge marbles.

 

[neali]

The Jete should sign the white walker that threw the ice spear about two miles into the dragon. Didn't hit a reporter either.

 

[Bill Lee]

Just call me Cerrano. I have huge marbles.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

The Jete should sign the white walker that threw the ice spear about two miles into the dragon. Didn't hit a reporter either.

"I know there's been interest from a lot of teams," said the white walker's agent. "But the white walkers play their best in the elements, and when winter is coming, the JETE are usually going. So while his ability to resurrect the dead might be handy in a NJ setting, his talents might be a better fit for a team like the Patriots. If there's one thing he is, though, it's patient."

 

[Tunescribe]

Therefore, the ideal gift is:

To complete the experience: