Deadspin: "Why Your Team Sucks 2017: New York Jets" (merged)

[ctpatsfan77]

This can be moved to the JEST suckage thread, but it deserves a thread of its own for at least a day or so.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-new-york-jets-1797496551

Your coach: Sentient headset lump Todd Bowles. I am constantly amazed by the Jets’ hiring cycle of “brash loudmouthed *******” followed by “seemingly stable guy who actually doesn’t do much at all.” They can NEVER find a coach to bridge those two genres. When I think of the Jets human resources department, I think of a golfer stuck in a sand trap, shooting over the green into another sand trap, then shooting from that sand trap back into the ORIGINAL sand trap, then repeating that process forever. Join us in December when they fire Bowles and replace him with Bill Parcells’s plumber.

 

[Wheelman]

I wonder what they'll do for ours this season.

 

[Rob0729]

Do Jets fans need to have someone explain why their team sucks. It is a little redundant. They suck because they are the New York Jets.

 

[oldrover]

Do Jets fans need to have someone explain why their team sucks?

Yes.

Yes, they do.

 

[nabwong]

The article is hilarious. The comments are even better!!

 

[oldrover]

The article is hilarious. The comments are even better!!

Evidence:

"Amazing. Only the Jets could sign Tim Tebow and then find the one quarterback IN HISTORY who could make Tebow look like Chris ****ing Kyle. Every time Christian Hackenberg throws a ball, it’s like he’s throwing it for the first time. “What is this strange oblong spheroid you’ve handed me? It certainly presents challenges from an aerodynamic perspective! Do I throw it using my hand or some sort of crude slingshot?” He’ll get the hang of it one day."

LMAO!

 

[obgod3]

This is classic...laughed my ass off...

 

[Richard Camembert]

The comments lmao...."Collect call from JETTSSSSSSIUUCCCKKKK"

 

[rochrist]

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-new-york-jets-1797496551

 

[Chevy]

The Jets ... The only team in the NFL that envies Chicago's QB situation. Even the Browns are laughing at them (Do I see a 2018 1st and 2019 2nd for Osweiler in the future?)

 

[AtomicDawg]

This comment sounds right to me.

I was in New Hampshire this past New Year’s and witnessed the most New England thing possible near our cabin: A group of Pats fans, ice fishing on the neighboring lake, listening to the Week 17 curb-stomp against the Dolphins on the radio. What amazed me, though, was that the game acted as this sort of quiet fire as the group otherwise drank, ate, and had a good time, seemingly confident that the Pats were handling their business and would ultimately win the game. I will never know such peace on a Sunday.