Jets Suck -- 2017 Edition (Official): Countdown to Oblivion

[TheRightTool]

A Jete fan on a Jersey dairy farm? I suppose that's possible.

My mistake. Describing Jets fans can sometimes lead a man from sanity into a state of error.

 

[Koma]

The whole J-E-T-E team was terrible yesterday, but the worst was the quarterback. He couldn't hit a barn door -- though it's likely that he would walk straight into one if his attempt to put on a football helmet is anything to go by.



So, as the season-that-includes-the-Jets ends and the season-that-really-matters begins, we can say that, having hovered tantalizingly between outright sucking and sucking at sucking when they tried to suck, the J-E-T-E have finished by showing that they suck completely.

Petty struggling with his helmet should be all any GM or coach needs to see. They should make it part of the combine evaluations - "Can't figure out that a football helmet won't fit when you're wearing a knit hat. Zero chance he'll be able to read a defense. Undraftable."

 

[Tony2046]

The Meadowlands
(For you who recognize it, I'll dispose of the latin and greek epigrams, and confine myself to "I. The Burial of the JEST.")

April is the cruelest month, rousing
JEST fans out of their deep funk, mixing
Memories and bold boasts, drafting
Dull clods with high picks.
Winter made us think, erasing
2017 with ease, "Leading
the NFL with zero losses."
Summer surprised us, trading over to better teams
The JETE BEST BEST BEST; we shot for first pick overall,
And couldn't tank right, into the real season,
And drank Miller, and talked for three hours.

Bin gar kein Jets Fan, ich komme aus der City, echt
Giants.*​

And when we were children, watching the year of Namath,
My cousin's VHS, we won it all,
I thought I'd been there. He said, J-E-T-S,
Gang Green, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the offseason, there you feel free.
I watch that game each night, and cry in the winter.

What were we rooting for, what draft-pick grew
Out of Bowles of Rutherford? Son of Hack,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of fading images, and beat-downs,
And the Lighthouse gives no shelter, nor the cricket when you're at home,
And the dashed hopes no draft-day laughter. Only
There is shadow under this silver helmet,
(Come in under the shadow of this silver helmet),
And I will show you something different from either
The shadow of Brady striding above you
Or the shadow of Namath forever behind you;
I will show you fear - "In Bill We Trust."

Frische Reihe von Tiefen
Die Heimspiele auch
Mein Jersey kind
Wo weilest du?***​

"You gave me Hackenberg first a year ago;
"They called me the Hackenberg girl."
-- Yet when he took first-team reps, in the Hackenberg section,
His arm sucked, his release poor, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Hack-fan or JEST-fan, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the future's face, the silence.
Oed' und leer das JEST.***

Monsieur Mel Kiper, famous clairvoyant,
Has never been right, nonetheless,
Is known to be the wisest man on draft day,
With a wicked stack of cards. Here, said he,
Is your card, the drowned New Jersey rodent,
(That was gold that was his arm! Look!)
Here is Belichick, the Leader of the Pack,
The master of situations.
Here is the man with three strikes, and here the Bills,
And here is the myopic Maccagnan, and this card,
Which is blank, is something he'll carry on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The hanged Mangold. Fear Death by slaughter.
Thank you. If you see dear Mr. Parity,
Tell him you brought this all upon yourself:
One must be so careful these days.

Unreal City,
Under the sad pall of a winter dawn,
A crowd flowed over the George Washington Bridge, so many.
The season's death had undone so many.
Cries, short and infrequent, of "Next Year,"
And each man fixed his eyes upon the draft.
Flowed over Hudson, up Washington Heights,
And somehow to the Great Wide Way where Namath kept the hours
With a dead sound, now for year forty-nine.
There I saw one I knew, and stopped him, crying:
"Johnson!
"You who were with me until shipped away!
"That corpse you planted in Grant Park in 16,
"Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?
"Or has the bench and rust disturbed its bed?
"Oh keep the Dog far hence, that's Maccagnan
"Or with his fails he'll dig it up again!
"You! Shipped-away Decker! Mon semblable, - mon frere!"

*"I'm not a Jets Fan, I'm from the City, really Giants."

**Fresh set of downs
The home-games too
My Jersey child
Where are you?

***Dull and empty the JEST

Is awesomenest a word? If it was I'd use it.

 

[Clonamery]

Is awesomenest a word? If it was I'd use it.

It's definitely an emoji guy pretending to be working on a laptop in Starbucks.

 

[Bill Lee]

They have no future. The past is proof.

I should have written "Jete fans only have their delusions about the future"....

 

[PatsFanInVa]

This week's challenges...

Belichick: "Just keeping the energy going through the off-week, whoever it is... is always a challenge. At this level, this time of year, every team that's left, they're all playing at a very high level..."

Maccagnan: "It's not just the tee times, it's flying down there too."

 

[Bill Lee]

18 years ago today, the SOFJ were the SOFJ yet again!

Ref: 18 Years ago today, the fist of the Dynasty broke ground

 

[Tunescribe]

18 years ago today, the SOFJ were the SOFJ yet again!

Ref: 18 Years ago today, the fist of the Dynasty broke ground

I remember watching the whole thing live as it happened on TV. Probably the best (non-sporting event) live broadcast I've ever seen. What BB did was totally unexpected.

 

[JetFan79]

Had an argument with a cow-worker today (a Jets fan) about how the Jets performed this past Sunday. For some reason, down on his morals as if he expected a different result, he was quite disappointed at how non-competitive and safe the Jets played. His point was that since they had nothing to lose, they should've gone for it on all 4th downs, not settle for any field goals, use a no-huddle offense, and/or possibly try a trick play.

My counterpoint was laughter. The kind of laughter so great that it will never run out since the Jets will seemingly never run out of suckage.

He was wrong. A win last week would have been disastrous.

 

[Tunescribe]

He was wrong. A win last week would have been disastrous.

Delusional bullcrap. There is no such thing as a "disastrous" win in the NFL, especially for a team like your Jete. If anything, you should feel embarrassed they didn't come to play -- they played like crap and didn't care. From their first offensive series it felt like they were running out the clock. There's nothing positive you or any other Jete creature can take from that game including "improved" draft position that makes any sense. Just more suckage on display, a suitable tonesetter for 2018.

 

[JetFan79]

Delusional bullcrap. There is no such thing as a "disastrous" win in the NFL, especially for a team like your Jete. If anything, you should feel embarrassed they didn't come to play -- they played like crap and didn't care. From their first offensive series it felt like they were running out the clock. There's nothing positive you or any other Jete creature can take from that game including "improved" draft position that makes any sense. Just more suckage on display, a suitable tonesetter for 2018.

You are entitled to your opinion. But you're wrong.

 

[Tunescribe]

You are entitled to your opinion. But you're wrong.

Why is it that most sensible and accurate assessments regarding the Jete appear "wrong" to you? What I offered is objective observation, not opinion. No freaking way I'm wrong -- YOU are delusional. I challenge you to prove otherwise addressing the details of my post.

 

[JetFan79]

Why is it that most sensible and accurate assessments regarding the Jete appear "wrong" to you? What I offered is objective observation, not opinion. No freaking way I'm wrong -- YOU are delusional. I challenge you to prove otherwise addressing the details of my post.

Losing that game was a win.

The loss gave them the 6th pick. With 2 or 3 QB hungry teams ahead of them. And there are at least 4 quality QB options in the draft.

Now I forget exactly, but I think a win would have moved them like 3 or 4 spots down in the draft order. Likely moving other QB hungry teams ahead of them. And certainly increasing the likelihood for other teams to trade up above them.

Not to mention the cost to move up themselves is cheaper now if the Jets want to.

Macc and Bowles were already secure.

Only bad would have come from a win.

 

[Joker]

are you Neville Chamberlain's long lost ******ed grand nephew?

 

[PatsFanInVa]

We should be gracious and charitable in our victory.

May the JETE pick 6th or better every year (it looks like they’re heading that way.)

Both of our teams have the weekend off! What’s not to like?

 

[IcyPatriot]

 

[Clonamery]

Has anyone seen mehta and jetefan79 in the same place?

 

[Tunescribe]

Here is the perfect soundtrack to serenade reading that article:

 

[JetFan79]

Has anyone seen mehta and jetefan79 in the same place?

Come to think of it... No. Hm.

 

[Tunescribe]

Has anyone seen mehta and jetefan79 in the same place?

While both lack logical perspective on the Jete, the telltale difference is Mehta can write. Also, Mehta reportedly has kissed a female.