Jets Suck -- 2017 Edition (Official): Countdown to Oblivion

[Joker]

Every year Rat fan claims things are looking up.Then comes the season.This spring is no different.

 

[JetFan79]

Every year Rat fan claims things are looking up.Then comes the season.This spring is no different.

With no expectations come no disappointments.

My motto for 2017.

The only bad outcome would be similar to last season. Waste money on playing vets that have no future here while sucking. Based on the moves so far this offseason, doesn't seem likely.

 

[Tunescribe]

With no expectations come no disappointments.

My motto for 2017.

The only bad outcome would be similar to last season. Waste money on playing vets that have no future here while sucking. Based on the moves so far this offseason, doesn't seem likely.

• ra·tion·al·i·za·tion1
  /ˌraSH(ə)n(ə)ləˈzāSH(ə)n, ˌraSH(ə)n(ə)līˈzāSH(ə)n/
  noun
  1. the action of attempting to explain or justify behavior or an attitude with logical reasons, even if these are not appropriate:
  2. the action of reorganizing a process or system so as to make it more logical and consistent:
  3. the process of converting a function or expression to a rational form.

 

[Tunescribe]

Great stuff!

Link: http://deadspin.com/canned-player-quotes-from-jets-pr-annotated-1794396179

But the Jets being the Jets, there is is always room for subtext, if you look hard enough. Are these happy quotes really that happy? What follows is a close reading of the canned quotes sent out this afternoon by Jets PR.

WR Quincy Enunwa: “It feels great. I’ve been working hard [LAST YEAR I DIDN’T WORK HARD] and I’ve been eager to get back. I think any time you’re away for a long period of time, it creates that itch to get back out here [I WAS SICK OF MY COACHES AND TEAMMATES AND NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM THEM], work with the guys, see all of the new faces [THANK GOD WE GOT RID OF SOME OF THE USELESS BUMS WE HAD LAST SEASON] and get this season started.”

RB Matt Forté: “I’m definitely excited to be back to see the guys and get back to work. Like every year, we have a lot to prove [BECAUSE OUR PRIOR RECORD REMAINS AN UNBROKEN STRING OF HUMILIATING FAILURES]. I am excited to be here.”

QB Christian Hackenberg: “It feels awesome. It’s been a long off-season [LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I FELT LIKE LAST SEASON WAS AN INCOMPLETE EXPERIENCE] and being able to get back in the locker room is something that I look forward to and I’m ready to get started.”

ILB David Harris: “It’s good to be back and see everybody, and meet new players [MAYBE SOME OF MY NEW TEAMMATES WILL BE LESS TERRIBLE], and see the new faces. We had a good break—I enjoyed the offseason [LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS TEAM], but it’s time to get back to work.”

QB Josh McCown: “It’s always good to get back started especially when you are coming to a new team [I CARRY THE WEIGHT OF MY FAILURES WITH ME]. It’s good to meet everyone and get acclimated [I HOPE MY FAILURES WILL MESH WITH THE FAILURES OF MY NEW TEAMMATES]. But It’s the first day in a long process and [NOTHING WILL GET BETTER] I’m excited to be part of it.”

QB Bryce Petty: “I’m excited on all fronts. It’s always good to get some time away [WHAT A RELIEF IT WAS TO BE AWAY FROM THIS PLACE FOR THREE MONTHS], but then you come back in the building and see old faces and see the guys. It’s the kind of adrenaline [IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE] you don’t get anywhere else.”

DE Leonard Williams: “It feels like the first day of school—walking around seeing smiles on everybody’s face [SUMMER VACATION WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN SCHOOL]. It feels great to be back to work with all of my teammates.”

DE Muhammad Wilkerson: “It’s a new season [EVERY SEASON IS STARTING TO RUN TOGETHER AT THIS POINT]. I’m glad to be back and get things started. It’s the first day of workouts with the guys. We have a lot to look forward to [NOT REALLY].”

 

[AtomicDawg]

 

[PatsFanInVa]

NEW JERSEYs get it?

 

[PatsFanInVa]

I have not had a seder in my home on Passover for years, but I'm reminded every year of the plagues through JEST fans...

You got your Hudson river turning various colors, maybe not red, but it depends what they're dumping in there...

You got your insects, amphibians, diseases, and similar stuff that city breeds prodigiously (adjacent as it is to the JEST true home, "somewhere in the swamps of Jersey..."

Then at the very top, the Busting of the First Round.

But since 2001, the Pats have smeared Rams' blood on their door posts, so that the angel of football death passes over us... and goes straight to New Jersey...

 

[PatsFanInVa]

With no expectations come no disappointments.

My motto for 2017.

The only bad outcome would be similar to last season. Waste money on playing vets that have no future here while sucking. Based on the moves so far this offseason, doesn't seem likely.

Yeah, best to save it for a few years tiger

We ain't goin' nowhere.

 

[JetFan79]

Would ya look at that... Yanks won their 8th in a row!

They've been dumping high-priced vets and getting younger and now they're winning too. They're darn fun to watch now. (Thank god, gotta get some winning from somewhwere.)

Maybe the Jets can surprise and do the same?

 

[zoostation]

Maybe the Jets can surprise and do the same?

I think they have a shot at the offseason championship. Let's see who they draft before we consider them the favorites though. Those Jets have been tough to beat in May and June.

 

[StockingAnarchyNumber12]

Would ya look at that... Yanks won their 8th in a row!

They've been dumping high-priced vets and getting younger and now they're winning too. They're darn fun to watch now. (Thank god, gotta get some winning from somewhwere.)

Maybe the Jets can surprise and do the same?

Jets will lose 8 in a row.

Shocking!

 

[luuked]

With no expectations come no disappointments.

My motto for 2017.

The only bad outcome would be similar to last season. Waste money on playing vets that have no future here while sucking. Based on the moves so far this offseason, doesn't seem likely.

I know most people use this thread to dish out but I wonder what do you consider a successful season this year for the Jets ? Tanking ? I suppose worst case is a mediocre 5-7 win record.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

I know most people use this thread to dish out but I wonder what do you consider a successful season this year for the Jets ? Tanking ? I suppose worst case is a mediocre 5-7 win record.

By June, nothing less than a Lombardi will do, and they'll be shoe-ins to win one.

The sports media are clustered in ny; it's really sort of sad, because it's not their fault.

Think about what "greatness" is to the JEST. Imagine if Tony Eason had risen above his middling status in the 85-86 season, and we had "Berry'd the Bears." Then everything after that played out the same.

Or imagine if Brady sucked from 2002-3 onwards.

That's the Namath story... and JEST fans still clamor for him to be considered in the "greatest QBs" conversation.

Hey big anniversary coming up soon... 50 years of JEST futility!

I wonder if there will ever be a JEST fan who will see 2 SB wins in a lifetime.

Wow, nice to be us, sucks to be them.

 

[Tunescribe]

Would ya look at that... Yanks won their 8th in a row! They've been dumping high-priced vets and getting younger and now they're winning too. They're darn fun to watch now. (Thank god, gotta get some winning from somewhwere.)

Maybe the Jets can surprise and do the same?

 

[JetFan79]

I know most people use this thread to dish out but I wonder what do you consider a successful season this year for the Jets ? Tanking ? I suppose worst case is a mediocre 5-7 win record.

Well I wasn't kidding when I alluded to not having any expectations. So with that said, it's tough to not have a successful season imo.

Though if being a Jet fan has taught me anything, it's not impossible for the team to let me down.

As of now, a successful season could be defined as getting anywhere from 0 to 19 wins. Seriously. I'd be as happy as a pig in... if this time next year we're looking at the #1 pick.

I'm almost 40. The Jets haven't had a true good franchise QB since I've been alive. Life expectancy is what, like 75 nowadays? I'm halfway there. So it's very possible I die before the Jets find a QB.

Screw that! I'll happily take a season of letting young guys develop while tanking to then have a legit shot of picking a QB who could be the franchise for 20+ years.

No draft pick is a definite, but if the pros say there are at least 3 or 4 QBs coming out in 2018 that are better than any QB in this draft, I have to believe 'em.

So I'll be happy with tanking.

I'd of course be thrilled with being good or great this season. Say if Hack turns out to be really good.

I'd even be OK going like 7-9 with Hack or Petty under center and developing.

The only bad outcome is like 5 to 8 wins with a useless veteran playing QB.

I'll have a better idea of what to hope for in couple weeks, after the draft. I'm interested to see what they do.

Draft Fournette? Or maybe a top notch Safety at #6?

Go with that Trubisky kid as the new QB? (But he better be great then.)

Or what I'd be real happy with... trade this draft away. Trade our early 1st and 2nd and end up with an additional 2 1st rounders in 2018. Probably an additional 2nd rounder too.

So no matter what, come this time next year we can get whatever QB we want w/o mortgaging the future. If we suck this year too!?!.. we'd have a top 5 pick plus the additional picks from trading 2017 away.

It'd be the perfect setup to rebuilding after a season of letting the young guys develop.

So again, so many ways to have a successful season as far as I'm concerned. Really hope the Jets don't find a way to let me down.

 

[luuked]

No draft pick is a definite, but if the pros say there are at least 3 or 4 QBs coming out in 2018 that are better than any QB in this draft, I have to believe 'em.

I understand that sentiment but I still vividly recall you writing the same thing about Hackenberg and how people are saying he is the closest thing to Luck.

 

[Joker]

Well,you can always fall back on your famous Rat legacy of punching out 5 foot tall young women wearing Pats gear and calling Brady a *** in between projectile vomiting outbursts...OG J T S E!!!!!??

 

[JetFan79]

I understand that sentiment but I still vividly recall you writing the same thing about Hackenberg and how people are saying he is the closest thing to Luck.

I probably did say something similar. Supposedly Hack did look awesome his freshman year before Penn State lost their team (oline) after being punished. Then Hack got murdered.

So that's another reason I'm cool with giving Hack the chance this year. He either takes the job and we're set, or he sucks and we get a great draft pick.

If we draft Trubisky, then I suppose the coaches know Hack has PTSD from his last couple years at Penn. (Dude was getting killed.)

But never did I say Hack was a sure thing. We picked him earlier than most would have in the 2nd. However I do think you guys might have taken him later in the 2nd.

 

[JetFan79]

Well,you can always fall back on your famous Rat legacy of punching out 5 foot tall young women wearing Pats gear and calling Brady a *** in between projectile vomiting outbursts...OG J T S E!!!!!??

Little people scare me. Nothing against women, it's just a nervous twitch.

If they're wearing Pats gear, that's just a plus.

 

[Tunescribe]

As of now, a successful season could be defined as getting anywhere from 0 to 19 wins. Seriously.

I'm almost 40. The Jets haven't had a true good franchise QB since I've been alive. Life expectancy is what, like 75 nowadays? I'm halfway there. So it's very possible I die before the Jets find a QB.

So I'll be happy with tanking. I'd of course be thrilled with being good or great this season.

Really hope the Jets don't find a way to let me down.