They suck so badly they can't even suck like a proper black hole.
This is a common misconception.
There is a singularity of JEST suckitude, where all the known laws of suckage break down, and time stands still. One phenomenon by which we can indirectly observe conditions in the singularity is the expectation of a super bowl victory from 1970 onward.
This Alice-in-Wonderland quality extends to much of the topsy-turvy physics of JEST suckage. However, most of what we can observe, from our frame of reference, just looks like a very bad NFL franchise.
That is because, as one approaches the singularity of suckage that is the black sucking heart of the JEST, you cross a "point of no return" called the event horizon. Once you cross the event horizon of suckage, you can never get back out. However, depending on previous momentum and the angle at which you approach the JEST singularity of suckage, you may actually escape the suckage and catapult past the singularity without falling past the event horizon.
However, most of the observable objects in the JEST universe are just slowly circling the drain, as it were, waiting to be crushed into the infinite magnitude suckage of the singularity.
Oddly, in the frame of reference of those close to the JEST singularity, nothing very remarkable is happening. Time just stops. Observers see them disappear past the event horizon, leaving only a green smear in the media on their way in. To they themselves, they are still unique and somehow relevant - forever.
Occasionally the JEST suckage singularity will pull in too much material and belch it out at its poles. These two opposite poles can often be observed in media such as JI, where highly energetic but ultimately irrelevant passion is captured and recorded.
