Least surprising headline templates

[Fencer]

Belichick Has Nothing To Say About _____

 

[Disco Volante]

Patriots romp ____ | ____ criticizes running up the score

 

[unoriginal]

Vick Absent From __/__ (AM/PM) Practice

 

[Frezo]

Al Davis gives new coach 672 page book of instructions.

 

[HEY BRO! WHAT UP?]

Waste of a thread.

 

[xmarkd400x]

Waste of a thread.

Yet, you bump it...

Mine:

____ still angry about (playoff/SB) loss ___ years ago.

 

[Urgent]

Big league slugger took steroids!

 

[Fencer]

Waste of a thread.

We Have Too Many Threads About ____

 

[EZMac]

what about:

[stomach-churning, horrifically bad pun]

oh wait, that's every sports headline ever

 

[Fencer]

Belichick Says ____ is "Day-to-Day"

 

[Gwedd]

HEY BRO! WHAT UP? complains about____________________

 

[spacecrime]

HEY BRO! WHAT UP? complains about____________________

related to this:

Captain Stone is still pissed that BB ___________________

 

[Patjew]

Patjew got drunk and acted like an ___hole and now his wife won't ____ him. Again.

 

[Gwedd]

Patjew got drunk and acted like an ___hole and now his wife won't ____ him. Again.

Ain't married life grand? Heh.....

 

[Mike the Brit]

---- WILL BE 'TOUGH OPPONENT', SAYS BELICHICK

close:

PATRIOTS 'ALWAYS LOOKING TO IMPROVE OUR TEAM'

BELICHICK PRAISES ROOKIE: A 'SMART KID' AND A 'HARD WORKER'

 

[Fencer]

BELICHICK PRAISES ROOKIE: A 'SMART KID' AND A 'HARD WORKER'

Good one. Especially after the Trevor Nunn story. (Is that a British-sounding name or what??)

 

[Rob0729]

This is my favorite least surprising headline template

"ESPN is reporting: (something that was actually reported somewhere else first, but we refuse to give credit to anyone else who scoops us so we are positioning it so that it looks like we actually found the scoop eventhough legally we have worded our title so that we can escape a plagiarism charge)"

 

[PatsFanSince74]

Brady. Probable. Shoulder.

TO unhappy with Bills' Offense. Demands bigger role.

Maroney to miss next ___ games due to _______.

 

[Mike the Brit]

Especially after the Trevor Nunn story. (Is that a British-sounding name or what??)

Really? Is Trevor not a common name in the U.S.? I think of it here as Welsh or Cornish (although I knew a Jewish Trevor and Sir Trevor MacDonald is an originally West Indian broadcaster) and I thought you had plenty of Celts over there! Still, we'll take the boy -- especially if he makes the team. (Can't let the Germans have all the glory with Basti Vollmer!)

 

[TrueBeliever]

_______ Charges Patriots Cheated in Every Game