- Joined
- Mar 19, 2006
- Messages
- 34,873
- Reaction score
- 15,423
By the way, I usually do my tongue-in-cheek draft analysis for our own team, but it's a pleasure to do one in earnest...
Sam Darnold, QB, USC. 6-foot-3, 221 pounds. The grandson of **** Hammer, the Marlboro Man. That was his mother's father. Something tells me he shared his lifetime supply of smokes with her, while she was preggers with Sam, because damn, look at those hands. Or don't. He hid them in his pockets in interviews leading up to the draft. Not that it ever hurt Geno Smith or Mark Sanchez, right? Lack of ball security should be nothing new to a team that's been continually kicked in the scrotum since 1969, but you have to wonder why they seem to seek it out. Daunte Culpepper laughs at this guy's hands.
What he lacks in grip, he makes worse in his delivery. I've seen better mechanics at Merchant's Tire and Auto, and I'm pretty sure they put sand in my engine in '98. Pushes ball away from body as if it's radioactive, drops it down low, pulls it back up and behind his head, gets back on his heels, and hops while throwing if it's a deep ball. Appears to think that by pushing ball at defenders he generates a protective shock wave. Worked at USC, should serve him well if JETE join Pac 10. Granted, his offensive line was a banged up college unit, which is only marginally better than the JETE starting O-line. In the NFL, he's a fumble waiting to happen. But when he manages to get the ball out with his glacier-quick release, it's a different story; then, he's an interception waiting to happen. No matter. The same QB coaches who turned Bryce Petty and Christian HackNBurp into world-beaters will be working on this ball-shy giant sloth.
JETEFan Draftnik Grade: A+++++++++!!!!! WE JUST WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!
Sam Darnold, QB, USC. 6-foot-3, 221 pounds. The grandson of **** Hammer, the Marlboro Man. That was his mother's father. Something tells me he shared his lifetime supply of smokes with her, while she was preggers with Sam, because damn, look at those hands. Or don't. He hid them in his pockets in interviews leading up to the draft. Not that it ever hurt Geno Smith or Mark Sanchez, right? Lack of ball security should be nothing new to a team that's been continually kicked in the scrotum since 1969, but you have to wonder why they seem to seek it out. Daunte Culpepper laughs at this guy's hands.
What he lacks in grip, he makes worse in his delivery. I've seen better mechanics at Merchant's Tire and Auto, and I'm pretty sure they put sand in my engine in '98. Pushes ball away from body as if it's radioactive, drops it down low, pulls it back up and behind his head, gets back on his heels, and hops while throwing if it's a deep ball. Appears to think that by pushing ball at defenders he generates a protective shock wave. Worked at USC, should serve him well if JETE join Pac 10. Granted, his offensive line was a banged up college unit, which is only marginally better than the JETE starting O-line. In the NFL, he's a fumble waiting to happen. But when he manages to get the ball out with his glacier-quick release, it's a different story; then, he's an interception waiting to happen. No matter. The same QB coaches who turned Bryce Petty and Christian HackNBurp into world-beaters will be working on this ball-shy giant sloth.
JETEFan Draftnik Grade: A+++++++++!!!!! WE JUST WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!
