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A Little Fun: The Goodell Punishment Generator

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Roger Goodell has carefully mulled this over, because he wants to make it right.

You have been suspended 2 games because, in your words: “I crashed a school bus loaded with adorable puppies and illegal explosives into my pregnant wife while injecting steroids into my optic nerve and then, after escaping from the burning wreckage, made a number of misogynistic and racially-insensitive tweets.”
 

I got...



Roger Goodell has carefully mulled this over, because he wants to make it right.

You have been suspended10 gamesbecause, in your words: “I sharted”


Who says the guy's not consistent?
 
I got four games for surreptitiously looking at another woman.

I mean, like, who doesn't?
 
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