Todd Heap Tragedy

[cmasspatsfan]

If he killed his wife, of course the marriage did not survive. Or am I missing something?

Maybe im just trying to inject humor into a tragic event, it's my coping mechanism I guess.

 

[Patsfanin Philly]

You don't get over that. Ever.

Some things are worse than death, sometimes, it is the things you have to live with. We lost our oldest as a 2 year old under different circumstances, ....but it affects us every single day, nearly 25 years later.... Thoughts and prayers for Heap, because unfortunately for him. his nightmare is just beginning and this is how he'll remember Easter for the next 40 years........We all expect to bury a parent and half will bury a spouse but none of us expect to bury a child, such an unnatural act...

 

[bormio]

The Bible says God will not give you more than you can handle, but sometimes you have to wonder.

 

[neuronet]

Some things are worse than death, sometimes, it is the things you have to live with. We lost our oldest as a 2 year old under different circumstances, ....but it affects us every single day, nearly 25 years later.... Thoughts and prayers for Heap, because unfortunately for him. his nightmare is just beginning and this is how he'll remember Easter for the next 40 years........We all expect to bury a parent and half will bury a spouse but none of us expect to bury a child, such an unnatural act...

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[Nikolai]

I have a truck with a lift that has blind spots in the rear (mostly covered by the rear camera) and also in the front, for about 4-5 feet in front. Rear camera or not, moving forward or not, I will not put the truck into gear at the house unless I have visually accounted for my children. If that means keeping the evil eye on them as I walk out the door and then making sure they don't wander out while I'm walking to the truck, so be it. I am terrified of this outcome.

RIP. Just awful...terrible...can't imagine.

 

[nabwong]

Based on what I read, it seemed like he was going forward.

He was moving forward if I read that correctly.

Yeah. Just responding to darryls about backing up. Although, there are some cars that have front cameras. I think Volvo has it. Maybe it would be useful in suvs and vehicles that are taller.

 

[Tony2046]

Yeah. Just responding to darryls about backing up. Although, there are some cars that have front cameras. I think Volvo has it. Maybe it would be useful in suvs and vehicles that are taller.

IIRC, you just had a baby a little while ago. I'll tell you that with my two kids I've had some close calls. I have tried to baby proof and now teenage proof everything. I've read all the books but things happen. Twice I've been caught off guard with my two kids and although nothing serious happened it could have easily been much worse.

Anyways hindsight is always 20/20 but this sounds like a case of a good parent getting caught off guard which happens to most of us although not always tragically.

My thoughts and prayers are truly with this family because I can't imagine losing one of my kids.

 

[RobertWeathers]

Yeah. Just responding to darryls about backing up. Although, there are some cars that have front cameras. I think Volvo has it. Maybe it would be useful in suvs and vehicles that are taller.

I agree. Some of these full-size GMC and Ford F250/350 has the top of the hood about 5ft off the ground.

It would not surprise me to learn that Heap had that type of truck.

 

[DarrylS]

How about installing a backup camera? Now that I have kids, I can't live without one. Just too paranoid that the same thing could happen to me.

Good idea, but I prefer a pull through and the extra steps.. my wife has one, do not care for it all that much.

 

[Actual Pats Fan]

how do you ever get over something like that?

You don't.

You must learn to live with it.

 

[Actual Pats Fan]

how about not Monday morning quarterbacking one of the most horrific events that can happen to a parent.

Not a parent but I know a few. If this happened to any of them, I can think of one thing that would make an unimaginably awful situation even worse, and that's a bunch of half-informed lunatics leaping all over themselves to play the woulda-coulda-shoulda game in order to assert their own superiority. It's a vile and repulsive attitude and it needs to stop. They're gonna get enough of that without your help.

I think it's in the context of preventing future tragedies, as this is not an uncommon occurrence.

Advocating for and endorsing solutions to problems that led to a family tragedy, is how many parents cope with such a loss.

 

[BUSTAMOVE]

Woulda Coulda Shoulda. We can all come up with reasons of why this should not have happened. A father was doing what he does a thousand times a year. This time the stars aligned with tragedy. We all can learn from it. But please stop playing Monday morning QB on a guy whom is probably suicidal and a family that is at a terrible loss. My heart breaks for them

 

[thecore762]

How about installing a backup camera? Now that I have kids, I can't live without one. Just too paranoid that the same thing could happen to me.

At first I thought backup cameras were stupid, but. As of two years ago I believe these things are truly a lifesaver, thankfully I never had any issues, but most Subaru these days come with a backup camera which I am thankful, helps avoid tragedies.

I hope that we pass a mandate that requires all new cars and trucks that they all have backup cameras and sensors in the back.

Todd Heap, my heart goes to him and his family, no parent should ever have to bury their child. God bless and RIP little one.

 

[HTownChris]

I can't even imagine. I'd rather not and blow my brains out.

 

[Ring 6]

It's funny - my car has a back up camera and I cannot stand it. The side mirrors also point down automatically when you put the car in reverse. I still think I can see more the old fashioned way, even though I have to crouch down to see out my side view mirrors. As someone said above, before you have kids (or have some close calls with crazy things) you think it can never happen to you, but unfortunately, it can. All you can do is be hyper-vigilant about where your kids are, concentrate on your driving only, and always move really slowly.

Edit - it says he was moving his truck forward. It was probably a big truck and she was a small kid he couldn't see. How awful and how do you ever get over something like that?

I don't know how you can get over it. I would think my life would be ruined.
I have no doubt that his family does not blame him but also no doubt that he blames himself and feels like his family should blame him.
I hope for his family's sake they can figure out a way to get through this together.

 

[bormio]

Guilt and blame are funny things - your brain says one thing and your heart says something else. And what people say today may not be how they feel in a year, or 5.

 

[Patsfanin Philly]

I don't know how you can get over it. I would think my life would be ruined.
I have no doubt that his family does not blame him but also no doubt that he blames himself and feels like his family should blame him.
I hope for his family's sake they can figure out a way to get through this together.

You don't ever got over it, you learn to live with it.. Some descend into drugs and alcohol to mask the pain and some marriages end in divorce ( not all thankfully) . some use it as a way to advocate to prevent future tragedies ( Think of John Walsh and AMW as an example)....

 

[Ring 6]

You don't ever got over it, you learn to live with it.. Some descend into drugs and alcohol to mask the pain and some marriages end in divorce ( not all thankfully) . some use it as a way to advocate to prevent future tragedies ( Think of John Walsh and AMW as an example)....

I know but while losing a child by any means being responsible justbadds another layer. I don't know that I could ever get it out of my mind, forgive myself or live with myself.
I'm sure I would end up a basket case.

 

[JetFan79]

Who has a newer vehicle with the auto-stop feature for pedestrians/obstacles and collision avoidance?

Would those systems have helped here?

Blind spots or not, front or rear, the car/truck should stop if there's something in the way. Of course with an override switch as well for when needed.

 

[Patsfanin Philly]

I know but while losing a child by any means being responsible justbadds another layer. I don't know that I could ever get it out of my mind, forgive myself or live with myself.
I'm sure I would end up a basket case.

True, that is the added element that I can't even fathom.......I feel for his entire family as the siblings too have to be profoundly affected by it, in ways that may not manifest for years....