OT, to lighten the mood: Specter & others, on why the chicken crossed the road

[Frezo]

Gen. George Patten: "This brave chicken crossed the most heavily populated hostile traffic lanes in the history of chickenfare and did so in record time to capture a prime enemy pecking area. I am proud to know this chicken!"

 

[TheGodInAGreyHoodie]

Chris Berman: To buy codeine laced drugs.

 

[TheGodInAGreyHoodie]

Brett Farve

To unretire.

 

[Patriotic]

Brett Favre

"To get away from the Packers."

Roger Clemens

"The chicken does not know. He misremembers."

Manny Ramirez

"Don't worry. Be chicken."

John Edwards

"To visit his mistress."

Barack Obama

"To run away from Jesse Jackson."

 

[PatsFanInVa]

A couple attempts to up the ante on the e-mailed political parts...

John McCain
He surged across the road, and it worked.

Barack Obama
Surging across the road was the right tactical move, but the chicken shouldn't have ever been in the road to begin with.

Fox News
A road crossing? A road incursion? A terrorist road jab?

John Edwards
He just had to go to the bathroom.

Ben Bernanke
The chicken could reasonably be expected to be said within the fourth quarter of 08 to have been said to have crossed something we could phrase as "the road," but we are not yet in a state I would characterize as "the chicken crossed the road."

Vladimir Putin
I do not know. But I guarantee you he won't cross it again.

Ehud Olmert
The chicken has crossed the road continually despite our overtures to the chicken, and we have come to the conclusion that we must build a chicken fence until the chicken decides he can live side by side with us in peace. We also reserve the right to cross the road in pursuit of the chicken at any time of our choosing.

Ismail Haniyeh
Both sides of the road belong to the chicken

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Never happened.

And my own Brett Favre, if it hasn't been done yet...

Brett Favre
He crossed the road but changed his mind and wanted to cross back, but then changed his mind about that, and after seventeen years, has done much honest soul-searching, and decided not to cross the road again, but then crossed it again, and is happy and excited to be a New York Jet, although he'll always be a Packer.

Edited to add...

John Madden
Nobody has more just plain fun crossing the road than the chicken, say what you want to about the missed roads, the swerving traffic, the times he had to run back 30 yards on his own side of the road, and the times he failed to cross the road entirely, he just crosses the road like a little chick, and that's how this road was meant to be crossed.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Ross Perot's VP running mate: Who was that chicken? What was it doing there?

Adm. Stockdale (but great pull!)

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Ross Perot
Ain't no call to go milkin' a goat when it's twister weather and the hay's not in.

 

[patsfaninpa]

Mojo Nixon - I saw Confucious at Kentucky Fried Chicken. He said: "Mojo it's
a finger licking"

Peyton Manning - The chicken was supposed to run along side the road for 20 yds
and then cross. But, ran the wrong pattern. Int not my fault.

 

[JMarr]

Brett Favre: "Because I'm...I'm...BRETT FARVE!

 

[PromisedLand]

Brett Favre: That reminds me of when I crossed a road once. I got to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side, and then I got sad and started crying, so I went back to the other side