[The New Jersey Hamiltons (ensemble)]
You might be out of your GOTT damn mind if you think
That Adam Gase can bring New Jersey to the brink
Of messing with New England's winning streak with that mess
A game of chess, While the JEST are king- and ring-less
We signed a contract with Maccagnon, who's now on unemployment
Would you like to call him up and ask him what your boy meant?
Uh, should we fire all the players that you hired?
"Do whatever you want, I'm super fired"
How does a playboy, worthless, son of an heir and a gold digger, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
spot in New Jersey by Providence in stinking of rat squalor
get to be an owner and a faller?
The Billion dollar, dmbass brother of a dmbass brother
got rich by grandpa working harder
grandpa being a lot smarter and being a self-starter
by fourteen, they sent away to a boarding school
And every day while others were learning and getting As
across the school he struggled though kept his thumbs up
Inside he was longing for nothing to be a part of
the brother didn’t care about business or barter
Then a trust fund check came and dollar bills rained
our man saw his future shooting high from his name
put a bottle in his mouth and deactivated his brain
and he took his first job as a birthright and it flamed
Well the word got around they said this kid is a drunk man
took out extra funds just to send him to the rehab again
Get your kicks and giggles don't forget from whence you came. And the world is gonna know your name.
What's ya name, man?
Christopher Wold Johnson
My name is Christopher Wold Johnson.
And there's a billion bucks I haven't burned.
But just you wait, just you, wait.
When he was 50, without a hit
Full of it, debt-ridden
Two years later, see Chrissy and his brother, all forgiven
All-good, sittin' in their own sick mansion and looking slick
And Chrissy did nothing but his brother was a prick
Moved in with a lady, the lady took half her side
Left him with nothin' but ruined pride
Somethin' new inside
A voice saying Chrissy, you gotta pity yourself
He started retreatin' and readin' every comic on the shelf
There would've been nothin' left to do
For someone born without the loot
He would've been dead and destitute
With millions in unearned restitution
Started partyin', yachtin' with his late mother's hoard
Buyin' private jets and cars and other things he can afford
Scannin' for every excuse he can get his hands on
Plannin' for the future, see him now as he stands on
The office of a team headed for a wasteland
In New York you can be a new man (x4) In New York (New York) Just you wait (x3)
Christopher Wold Johnson
We are waiting in the weeds for you
You could never back down
You never learned to take your time
Christopher Wold Johnson
New Jersey Sings for you
Do they know that your life’s a shame
Do they know all you got’s your name
The Jets will never be the same, oh
Woody is in Europe now
See if you can spot him
Another inbred fool takin’ us to the bottom
His opponents really knew his rep, New Jersey soon forgot him
(Darnold and Adams) We, fought with him (chorus mock chuckles)
(Bell) Me, I signed with him (chorus facepalms)
(Cro-magnon) Me, I trusted him (chorus gasps)
(Gase) Me, I loved him (chorus weirded out)
(Grandpa) And me, I'm the damn fool that bought him (chorus: ev-er-y-THING!)
There's a billion bucks I haven't burned, but just you wait
Whats ya name man?
CHRISTOPHER WOLD JOHNSON
