Kontradiction
On my retirement tour.
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- Joined
- Oct 24, 2006
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Okay, Chris Stevenson. I could completely take a **** on the baby boomers right now, but that would send the thread down the ol’ political path.Blame millennials, the scourge of America. Fantasy football + smartphones + light beer = increased demand for stadium lounges = fewer seats for dedicated fans who actually want to watch the games. Sometime in the future, Gillette Stadium will resemble one giant lounge surrounded by 16 jumbotrons to which games are simultaneously telecast from remote locales. Victories will be measured in fantasy points, as fantasy point systems will be devised for each position including linemen, although offensive linemen will be considered more valuable than even linebackers or defensive backs. Game scores will be in the 80-70 range; any game with fewer than 20 touchdowns will be considered a "defensive struggle." Club seat owners will enjoy admittance to the team owner's hip-hop parties on game day, where they can pay a premium fee to mingle with celebrity guests and drink more light beer while sexy female "cheerleaders" give them individual fantasy point updates every 10 minutes. Also in this era, team coaching staffs and defensive players will be hired and fired by committees of offensive players headed by the quarterback and his top two wide receivers.