I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[Pats1989]

My day consists of waking up at 7 or 8 AM, crying for hours, not being able to eat, sleep, worry about anything & everything, function like normal people, getting sick. I haven't been able to work for over a year. Psychologists, medications, day programs, walks, better food, nothing has worked. I want so many things. I just can't go through life like this. The only reason I am here is my family.

I am 27 years old ( Located in Halifax, Canada) and my life has and is passing me by. I'm beaten mentally and physically. I pray everyday to the higher up power. Anxiety, depression beats you up. My prayers are with those affected by this and other diseases.

If anyone ever has any specific questions for me, feel free to reach out. I want to be able to help others if I can.

 

[PatsBoy12]

Hi Dawg,

I'm sorry to hear that you've had some rough times lately. Stay strong and stay with us. This thread only hints at the care and concern I received from forum members. The PMs were simply amazing. There are truly wonderful people here who care about you.

Post or PM me directly if I can be of help. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

I second that...

 

[PatsBoy12]

My day consists of waking up at 7 or 8 AM, crying for hours, not being able to eat, sleep, worry about anything & everything, function like normal people, getting sick. I haven't been able to work for over a year. Psychologists, medications, day programs, walks, better food, nothing has worked. I want so many things. I just can't go through life like this. The only reason I am here is my family.

I am 27 years old ( Located in Halifax, Canada) and my life has and is passing me by. I'm beaten mentally and physically. I pray everyday to the higher up power. Anxiety, depression beats you up. My prayers are with those affected by this and other diseases.

If anyone ever has any specific questions for me, feel free to reach out. I want to be able to help others if I can.

I'm sorry truly to hear of your situation. What's happening, if you don't mind me asking? What made this begin for you?

There's so much support here. Don't give up. Don't stop believing. Listen, I was thinking of killing myself the very day I started this thread. I was literally thinking that that day would be my last on earth. I was crying uncontrollably as I typed, not knowing if anyone on the board would give a damn. It felt like nobody did at that point. Within an hour the thread was something like six pages. I was stunned. In the weeks that followed I had talked to so many members on the phone and through e-mails. I had members from as far as China and Indonesia reach out... Yeah there are Pats fans there. So suffice to say, you are not forgotten or alone by any means. You stand strong today knowing that an army stands with you. I'm here. Kenneth is here. And the many other brothers and sisters are here. The beauty of it is we're all still battling our own demons, but it won't stop us from battling yours with you.

Much luv. We are here.

 

[farn]

My day consists of waking up at 7 or 8 AM, crying for hours, not being able to eat, sleep, worry about anything & everything, function like normal people, getting sick. I haven't been able to work for over a year. Psychologists, medications, day programs, walks, better food, nothing has worked. I want so many things. I just can't go through life like this. The only reason I am here is my family.

I am 27 years old ( Located in Halifax, Canada) and my life has and is passing me by. I'm beaten mentally and physically. I pray everyday to the higher up power. Anxiety, depression beats you up. My prayers are with those affected by this and other diseases.

If anyone ever has any specific questions for me, feel free to reach out. I want to be able to help others if I can.

Fellow Nova Scotian.

Hang in there, friend. At 27, life isn't passing you by - you have almost all of it ahead of you. I hope you find a good path soon. Our province is full of calm, beautiful nature. The city is hectic - if you are up to it, take a day or two to explore the countryside. You might find the change of pace to your liking.

 

[Pats1989]

I'm sorry truly to hear of your situation. What's happening, if you don't mind me asking? What made this begin for you?

There's so much support here. Don't give up. Don't stop believing. Listen, I was thinking of killing myself the very day I started this thread. I was literally thinking that that day would be my last on earth. I was crying uncontrollably as I typed, not knowing if anyone on the board would give a damn. It felt like nobody did at that point. Within an hour the thread was something like six pages. I was stunned. In the weeks that followed I had talked to so many members on the phone and through e-mails. I had members from as far as China and Indonesia reach out... Yeah there are Pats fans there. So suffice to say, you are not forgotten or alone by any means. You stand strong today knowing that an army stands with you. I'm here. Kenneth is here. And the many other brothers and sisters are here. The beauty of it is we're all still battling our own demons, but it won't stop us from battling yours with you.

Much luv. We are here.

Much thanks. We'll thing is I can't pinpoint exactly where it all went "downhill". I mean I've been a worrier since childhood. No specific event or incident " triggered" what happened. Weird thing really. So hopefully that somewhat answers " beginning" part. Age 12 started and no rhyme or reason. Obviously l was able to hide it much easier before.

I've definitely been evaluating who I associate with. Example: "Friend" said he was "done" after I accidentally dropped a beer bottle in his house. Few days later he says:"I'll be your friend again. Just don't drop bottles". I said:" It was an accident. I apologized and offered to clean it up. I was sober and trying to help. The fact you even need to "evaluate" a friendship over something small like that shows your character". I decided to cut him out. Same with a dude who reaches out when he fights with his girlfriend. No other time. I've learned quality matters over quantity.

Jobs, girls, certain friends come and go. Family is forever. They are the constant. I definitely recommend others to always be close with loved ones any way possible.

I appreciate the well wishes. I enjoy this board as its an escape. I feel as though the Patriots are family. I remember SB 49 happening and us winning. Was very excited. Than I thought to myself " They won but the season is over. Now what? ". Anybody else ever feel that way even when they win?

 

[Pats1989]

Fellow Nova Scotian.

Hang in there, friend. At 27, life isn't passing you by - you have almost all of it ahead of you. I hope you find a good path soon. Our province is full of calm, beautiful nature. The city is hectic - if you are up to it, take a day or two to explore the countryside. You might find the change of pace to your liking.

Quite unique to find a fellow Nova Scotian. Shows the Patriots have built a global fan base. You are correct about the province. I complain about transit systems, weather, job market, mental healthy system. Yet, I definitely need too embrace everything else.

 

[farn]

Quite unique to find a fellow Nova Scotian. Shows the Patriots have built a global fan base. You are correct about the province. I complain about transit systems, weather, job market, mental healthy system. Yet, I definitely need too embrace everything else.

Not as rare as you think - there are plenty of Nova Scotians on here. And there are many Patriot fans in the province. I am from the Southwest tip, but my gf is in the city.

I have had several bouts of depression over the years, but am usually ok. I know I can't say "don't worry" because that is not how it works. Rather, I encourage you to more fully enjoy the things that matter in your life. I wish you luck & strength : hoping to hear more of your journey in coming days.

 

[Clonamery]

Much thanks. We'll thing is I can't pinpoint exactly where it all went "downhill". I mean I've been a worrier since childhood. No specific event or incident " triggered" what happened. Weird thing really. So hopefully that somewhat answers " beginning" part. Age 12 started and no rhyme or reason. Obviously l was able to hide it much easier before.

I've definitely been evaluating who I associate with. Example: "Friend" said he was "done" after I accidentally dropped a beer bottle in his house. Few days later he says:"I'll be your friend again. Just don't drop bottles". I said:" It was an accident. I apologized and offered to clean it up. I was sober and trying to help. The fact you even need to "evaluate" a friendship over something small like that shows your character". I decided to cut him out. Same with a dude who reaches out when he fights with his girlfriend. No other time. I've learned quality matters over quantity.

Jobs, girls, certain friends come and go. Family is forever. They are the constant. I definitely recommend others to always be close with loved ones any way possible.

I appreciate the well wishes. I enjoy this board as its an escape. I feel as though the Patriots are family. I remember SB 49 happening and us winning. Was very excited. Than I thought to myself " They won but the season is over. Now what? ". Anybody else ever feel that way even when they win?

The NFL season is never over. Try the Draft forum...where football springs eternal. They have many wise and informed posters who know all the college players.

Hang in there. Let some of the usual posters here in and you'll be glad that you did.

 

[Froob]

Much thanks. We'll thing is I can't pinpoint exactly where it all went "downhill". I mean I've been a worrier since childhood. No specific event or incident " triggered" what happened. Weird thing really. So hopefully that somewhat answers " beginning" part. Age 12 started and no rhyme or reason. Obviously l was able to hide it much easier before.

I've definitely been evaluating who I associate with. Example: "Friend" said he was "done" after I accidentally dropped a beer bottle in his house. Few days later he says:"I'll be your friend again. Just don't drop bottles". I said:" It was an accident. I apologized and offered to clean it up. I was sober and trying to help. The fact you even need to "evaluate" a friendship over something small like that shows your character". I decided to cut him out. Same with a dude who reaches out when he fights with his girlfriend. No other time. I've learned quality matters over quantity.

Jobs, girls, certain friends come and go. Family is forever. They are the constant. I definitely recommend others to always be close with loved ones any way possible.

I appreciate the well wishes. I enjoy this board as its an escape. I feel as though the Patriots are family. I remember SB 49 happening and us winning. Was very excited. Than I thought to myself " They won but the season is over. Now what? ". Anybody else ever feel that way even when they win?

Keep fighting man I can definitively feel you there about the over worrying. Not sure if there's any real cure for it. If you have any interest in basketball the Celtics are fun to watch right now. There's a good community for the Celtics over on Realgm.com that we have a good time discussing games with.

 

[Froob]

I have been in tears reading this thread. It has meant so much to me this past month. It's been real rough for me, but I never thought a thread on an internet forum would impact me as much as thia thread has.

It seems as though life always pulls you in certain directions and situations that you may not be ready for. Even though this time has been trying for me, this team and this forum have been my saving gracr.

Thanks to @PatsBoy12 and everyone else who has participated in this thread. No matter what may be going on, I know now that I'm not alone, even though it seems like I am. Thanks again.

Same man, you can't read through this thread without tearing up unless you're a robot or vulcan or something. Hang in there man. I'm always available too for anyone to PM.

 

[ralmat55]

Hi Pats89,

I've been a worrier since childhood myself. Life is hard. It is especially hard for us who see danger everywhere. Wish I had something magical to say, but it's a struggle. One thing I have learned is the things you worry about never seem to harm you. It's the things you don't worry about that bite you in the a--.

Your story about your "friend" who got mad at you when you accidentally spilled a beer told me that you're a sensitive person. it's a hard world for thoughtful people too.

It gets better. As you get older, you realize there's less to worry about and you're too tired to worry anyway. You will also grow to like yourself a little. You'll come to understand that you're an okay guy and if others don't like it than it's their problem not yours.

We're here for you. You can PM at anytime. There are people here who care. No one knows that more than me. God bless! Go Pats!!

 

[Froob]

This thread has to be the best in Patsfans history and it's not even about the team. People getting help and paying it forward. Incredible stuff.

 

[Tony2046]

I have been in tears reading this thread. It has meant so much to me this past month. It's been real rough for me, but I never thought a thread on an internet forum would impact me as much as thia thread has.

It seems as though life always pulls you in certain directions and situations that you may not be ready for. Even though this time has been trying for me, this team and this forum have been my saving gracr.

Thanks to @PatsBoy12 and everyone else who has participated in this thread. No matter what may be going on, I know now that I'm not alone, even though it seems like I am. Thanks again.

Same here Dawg. Tough year. "This too shall pass". Wish you the best.

 

[Tony2046]

My day consists of waking up at 7 or 8 AM, crying for hours, not being able to eat, sleep, worry about anything & everything, function like normal people, getting sick. I haven't been able to work for over a year. Psychologists, medications, day programs, walks, better food, nothing has worked. I want so many things. I just can't go through life like this. The only reason I am here is my family.

I am 27 years old ( Located in Halifax, Canada) and my life has and is passing me by. I'm beaten mentally and physically. I pray everyday to the higher up power. Anxiety, depression beats you up. My prayers are with those affected by this and other diseases.

If anyone ever has any specific questions for me, feel free to reach out. I want to be able to help others if I can.

Yeah at 27 your life is just beginning. I'm 50 now and will tell you that it wasn't until I was in my early thirties when I started to get a grasp of what it was I wanted to do etc.... so you have plenty of time to get on track. Just keep searching for an answer. You'll find it.

Not remotely as serious but I went through half my life feeling lost or confused half the time. As long as I had a job repairing something I was all set but if it required record keeping or doing my taxes or any mundane repetitive task I was screwed. Recently I learned that I had a bad case of ADHD which I had always thought of as a "spoiled kid" disease. The first time I took the medication I realized that ADHD was a real thing because it was the first time I could focus on the small details of something or finish a mundane task.

Point is there was an answer but it took awhile to find the right person who had it. I never really put an effort into finding the answer until my kids were born and they started doing the same things I had done at their age.

Another thing to note is that doctors didn't have an answer for ADHD until the mid 1990's or when I was in my 30's. The science communities are finding new answers daily. Keep looking. Wish you the best.

 

[Football4life]

Hi Patsfans,

This thread will probably be moved shortly (I hope it's allowed to stay for just a day at least), but it's a bit of a serious post and I need some prayers. Obviously this is a sports forum and all, but without getting into too much, I have been in an ongoing bout with depression. I have been getting counseling and everything, but the thoughts of ending it are back and they're strong. I have really enjoyed being on the board talking Patriots with all of you very much. I guess I just wanted to reach out to those of you who pray and ask that you please pray for me. I don't know where my journey will end up and I'm trying very hard to fight and stay positive, but things are rough for me at the present time in a lot of different ways. Please send some words up in prayer for me as I continue to try to make sense of some of the things that have happened and some of the present difficulties I am having.

I hate to put up such a sad thread and all, but I just needed to "verbalize" this and my usual outlets are unavailable to me at this time. I hate that I have to reach out in this fashion, but I didn't know what else to do in my present state of mind. It was the only thing I could do to keep from doing something worse. I thank you all for giving me a place of refuge to talk only Patriots, which is one of the few things in my life that I still enjoy.

The first step in getting help is asking for it,talking about it and not hiding it. Far too often people don't reach out for the help that they need. Good for you for coming out and talking about your depression. I see this post was posted back in October. I pray you're doing much better by now. I will say a prayer for you tonight. I wish you nothing but the best.

 

[PatsDeb]

My day consists of waking up at 7 or 8 AM, crying for hours, not being able to eat, sleep, worry about anything & everything, function like normal people, getting sick. I haven't been able to work for over a year. Psychologists, medications, day programs, walks, better food, nothing has worked. I want so many things. I just can't go through life like this. The only reason I am here is my family.

I am 27 years old ( Located in Halifax, Canada) and my life has and is passing me by. I'm beaten mentally and physically. I pray everyday to the higher up power. Anxiety, depression beats you up. My prayers are with those affected by this and other diseases.

If anyone ever has any specific questions for me, feel free to reach out. I want to be able to help others if I can.

Sorry that you feel this way. As others have said, there are no easy answers, but just reaching out is a good thing for today. I have a close family member with bipolar depression and the winter especially is a struggle. I think you should keep trying the things that you have tried (medication; therapy), as eventually something will work. You may have to change it again going forward, but don't give up. I know what you mean about when football is over, then what? I feel this way every season too, but I try to turn my thoughts to spring and how good I will feel when I see those first spring flowers erupting (my favorite thing to see is forsythia (sp?), my dad's favorite, an early spring harbinger. We also get red winged black birds around here, specifically in a marsh that I have to pass on my way home from work. I am always looking for those birds starting in mid-March). It's good that you have a good family support system. They are very important when you are feeling low. I don't have much to add except to say that we care about you here and want you to feel well, and things always do get better. Just stay the course and be good to yourself.

 

[Wordsmyth]

Hear, hear!

 

[Ring 6]

My day consists of waking up at 7 or 8 AM, crying for hours, not being able to eat, sleep, worry about anything & everything, function like normal people, getting sick. I haven't been able to work for over a year. Psychologists, medications, day programs, walks, better food, nothing has worked. I want so many things. I just can't go through life like this. The only reason I am here is my family.

I am 27 years old ( Located in Halifax, Canada) and my life has and is passing me by. I'm beaten mentally and physically. I pray everyday to the higher up power. Anxiety, depression beats you up. My prayers are with those affected by this and other diseases.

If anyone ever has any specific questions for me, feel free to reach out. I want to be able to help others if I can.

Hey 1989

I just wanted to throw a few thoughts in that might help.

My personal belief is that pretty much everyone shares the thoughts and feelings you have but some dwell on them and get overtaken by them and others ignore them and move on. Just another way people are all the same yet all different. Please don't look at how you feel as "wrong" but just as our way of feeling things.

I do have a suggestion for you. I have always noticed that whenever things seem like ****, work is drudgery and everyone you need to do their job sucks at it and it will never get better, rematuobships are strained and maybe you won't make it, plans you have for the future seem to be falling apart, one really good day makes a enormous difference.
So here is my suggestion.
Make a list of "good things". I mean things that will make you feel good. Some ideas
Watching a tape of a patriot SB win
Going for a walk, something you mentioned (maybe have a route and time yourself on it to see if you can beat your last time)
Sitting down with family and having a nice conversation. .
Playing a game or sport that you are good at.
Reading to learn about something you don't know. (Or even a you tube how to video to do something around the house a car repair or build something)
You get the idea, so make a list of things done that take a lot of energy and others that take little.
Then once every day make sure you do one of those things, and while you do it **** off the world, focus on that and enjoy yourself.

My other suggestion may or may not fit your life. My family is spread out and especially sobwgen my kids are/were away at college. I no longer live where I grew up and therefore I have family and friends spread all over and it's hard to keep in touch.
I make sure that once every day I communicate with one of them. Usually a call but sometimes just a text.
If your family and friends are nearby maybe you can alter it to seeing one of them on person every day for a one On one conversation the kind that we normally forget to have.


I hope those ideas help, but if they don't at least recognize there is even a stranger out there who cares enough about your well being to try and help. Then realize there are thousands more

 

[Froob]

One more day fam, let's hope all of our moods are brightened around this time tomorrow night.

 

[mosslost]

Hi Pats89,

I've been a worrier since childhood myself. Life is hard. It is especially hard for us who see danger everywhere. Wish I had something magical to say, but it's a struggle. One thing I have learned is the things you worry about never seem to harm you. It's the things you don't worry about that bite you in the a--.

Your story about your "friend" who got mad at you when you accidentally spilled a beer told me that you're a sensitive person. it's a hard world for thoughtful people too.

It gets better. As you get older, you realize there's less to worry about and you're too tired to worry anyway. You will also grow to like yourself a little. You'll come to understand that you're an okay guy and if others don't like it than it's their problem not yours.

We're here for you. You can PM at anytime. There are people here who care. No one knows that more than me. God bless! Go Pats!!

I have a trick I have learned and used many times. For many years since I was a teenager (in my 50s) now, I would feel so physically terrible which really (long story short) I knew was just stress, worry, and fear among other anxietes. I had a parent die of cancer when I was just 19,, and I developed a tremendous fear of cancer, always thought I was dying of it for a while.

Here is my simple trick that I have done a couple times, and it was powerful. On a couple different days where I felt so awful that I was certain I was dying, I took a nice calendar and pulled it aside, and in black sharpie I circled the day.. then I saved that calendar. Later, on future days, when inevitably I felt horrible again, I would pull that calendar out, even years later (I had to do more than one calendar over the years lol) and look at the circled day. And then I would think to myself "I remember that day, the day I circled that, and I am still here, often doing quite well." So I would hang in there.

At 27, or at any age.. I implore you that life is an amazing blessing to have. When the weather is nice, take a drive real early, take a ferry over to Martha's Vineyard, rent a jeep, drive to the cliffss... or anything else like that that you can come up with it. Things like that have given me great healing.