Fan Connection I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[shmessy]

I like the spite angle...it appeals to my vengeful side. But, really, the real question is, what do you do with spoiled milk? Rotten eggs? Those things were good at one time, but now? Time to get rid of it with the quickness.

Sign and be done is my vote.

CLEANSE.

Kenneth, breathe. You are FREE. No need for spite to her. May she be well and happy wherever the hell she is.

YOU are special and deserving of feeling cleansed and free and powerful. Don't hold on to the toxin.

Breathe in and breathe out. Feel the strength of that. YOU are the power.

No one holds domain over you.

 

[Ring 6]

I think it's up to you. As long as your decisions isn't to delay because you hope she comes back I see nothing wrong with either approach. There can be real satisfaction in making it difficult on her and there is also satisfaction in just being done.
I think it's about closure but closure on your terms. Those terms may include a final shot across the bow making the closure better for you. It would for me, but I can't think of a more appropriate topic to say only you can know what's best for you.

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[mosslost]

It has been a roller coaster of a day. Started strong but realized in morning that in less than a week the marriage that I thought just a year ago would last a lifetime will be over this time next week which caused me considerable sadness. It still seems like a bad dream that it has come to this. It has gotten better tonight as my family came through for me with calls from a niece, a nephew and my sister.

I have a decision to make. In my State, a divorce is not final until 60 days after the court date. The 60 day period can be eliminated if both parties sign a waiver of appeal. My ex signed it and mailed it to the court before she left New England for Old England. I have not signed it, and I am tempted not to do so until after Christmas..

Friends tell me just get over with and sign it. But, I have been at the mercy of my ex and her English lounge lizard since this began. Now I have the power and I am tempted to use it if for no other reason than just spite.

I'm in no hurry. She was my Christmas bride(Dec 19th), and I want to keep that for myself. They can wait if that is what they plan.

My sister is on board with sticking it to them. I'm interested in your opinions. Good night my friends.


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This might not be popular, but with what she did to you, if it were me, I would do each thing that makes it difficult for her. Spite is fine, can even be healing and helpful. Like other posters have said, if she really wants it signed, definitely do NOT sign it until you have to. Ignore any request from her to sign it. (Do you even have to sign it, just curious?)

 

[ralmat55]

I think it's up to you. As long as your decisions isn't to delay because you hope she comes back I see nothing wrong with either approach. There can be real satisfaction in making it difficult on her and there is also satisfaction in just being done.

I think it's about closure but closure on your terms. Those terms may include a final shot across the bow making the closure better for you. It would for me, but I can't think of a more appropriate topic to say only you can know what's best for you.

Closure is what I need and what I want. Still do not know which way to go. Glad I have 5 days to make it. It's not an either or decision. I can always sign the waiver at anytime within the 60 day period. In fact, I will sign it before the end of 2015 because I want no part of a joint tax return with her. If I didn't sign it, the divorce would be final on Jan 2nd - my birthday.

Have I told you guys that I never saw my ex again after she left me on July 10th even though we worked across the street from one another for two months. She refused to see me. Since she worked at the front window of the police department, I was reluctant to just walk in and have her cause a commotion.

But, on Labor Day, I walked into the station to see her and drop off some things she had left behind. She saw me coming from the cameras by the door and turned off the office lights and ran from her desk at the window and hid behind file cabinets in the corner of the office. Her co worker came out from behind the bullet proof and bomb proof walls of the office to take the stuff I brought in.

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[ralmat55]

Not really sure what I did wrong on prior post.


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[Ian]

Not really sure what I did wrong on prior post.


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Your reply was inside the [ / quote ] tag. I just fixed it for you

 

[ralmat55]

I had a rough day. I'm noticing that stress at work really sets off my depression. I worked my way through the stress and the depression lifted.

I would like to take some time off, but we are a 4 person office and because of comings and goings there's only 2 of us plus some part-time help. Next week we get a 3rd full time employee which will help significantly.

Trying to get interested in things so watching some Celtics who I have not watched regularly in a decade. It's actually an entertaining game. Looking forward to the game tomorrow night.although I dislike night games in general.




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[neuronet]

Have I told you guys that I never saw my ex again after she left me on July 10th even though we worked across the street from one another for two months. She refused to see me. Since she worked at the front window of the police department, I was reluctant to just walk in and have her cause a commotion.

But, on Labor Day, I walked into the station to see her and drop off some things she had left behind. She saw me coming from the cameras by the door and turned off the office lights and ran from her desk at the window and hid behind file cabinets in the corner of the office. Her co worker came out from behind the bullet proof and bomb proof walls of the office to take the stuff I brought in.

Holy crap.

She sounds like a really good person.



So freaking glad you didn't have kids with that psycho from hell. Dodged a bullet big time, buddy. Big time.

 

[Tony2046]

Kenneth I don't know why she left but doing so by ripping someone's heart out and stomping on it tells me enough about what kind of person she is. That is not something you could have controlled and it has nothing to do with you. Some guys do it and blame it on a midlife crisis. Marry a young girl and buy a convertible sports car and think "ahhh life is complete" until they realize it's not. Girls do it because they think they can find a dream guy (who has never been found btw) that can fully provide financial, romantic and protective qualities all in one and on their terms and blame it on a Cinderella complex.

The reality is that relationships are full of compromises. Sounds like you were the only one compromising.

Bottom line is that you will meet someone new in the future and will not be willing to hand over your heart so quickly. You will be a little more careful and because of that you will find someone that fits you.

A little joke for a laugh:

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

 

[anditsgood]

A little joke for a laugh:

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

kinda corny but i like it, going to use it this weekend

 

[Joey007]

@Kenneth Sims I can empathize in a way in that I know how it feels to go through a process like this, maybe not to your extent, but I know the feeling of the girl deciding to pick up and leave everything she built with you out of nowhere, And that process of cutting all ties from it.

One thing I can tell you from the experience (with my deal being a few years ago now) is this: the more ways you cut ties and burn the photos and go without ever seeing her, the better it will feel.

Once you make he move to finalize and sign those papers, a huge weight will feel lifted off your shoulders. I can't wait to see things only get better here for you.

 

[ralmat55]

Woke up in great spirits this morning, and despite getting drenched they still remain high.

Excited about tonight's game. Go Pats!!!


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[Onedaful]

Closure is what I need and what I want. Still do not know which way to go. Glad I have 5 days to make it. It's not an either or decision. I can always sign the waiver at anytime within the 60 day period. In fact, I will sign it before the end of 2015 because I want no part of a joint tax return with her. If I didn't sign it, the divorce would be final on Jan 2nd - my birthday.

Have I told you guys that I never saw my ex again after she left me on July 10th even though we worked across the street from one another for two months. She refused to see me. Since she worked at the front window of the police department, I was reluctant to just walk in and have her cause a commotion.

But, on Labor Day, I walked into the station to see her and drop off some things she had left behind. She saw me coming from the cameras by the door and turned off the office lights and ran from her desk at the window and hid behind file cabinets in the corner of the office. Her co worker came out from behind the bullet proof and bomb proof walls of the office to take the stuff I brought in.

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She sounds extremely immature. I know you've heard this probably a million times but you are better off without her and its best to move on and focus on your happiness. You'll look back on this one day and realize everyone was correct.

 

[aluminum seats]

Kenneth I don't know why she left but doing so by ripping someone's heart out and stomping on it tells me enough about what kind of person she is. That is not something you could have controlled and it has nothing to do with you. Some guys do it and blame it on a midlife crisis. Marry a young girl and buy a convertible sports car and think "ahhh life is complete" until they realize it's not. Girls do it because they think they can find a dream guy (who has never been found btw) that can fully provide financial, romantic and protective qualities all in one and on their terms and blame it on a Cinderella complex.

The reality is that relationships are full of compromises. Sounds like you were the only one compromising.

Bottom line is that you will meet someone new in the future and will not be willing to hand over your heart so quickly. You will be a little more careful and because of that you will find someone that fits you.

A little joke for a laugh:

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

Did you know you can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it in water? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant.

Sorry.

And on signing it, whatever you want to do is the right thing to do. Savor the fact that it’s up to you, whatever you do.

 

[n1997y]

Closure is what I need and what I want. Still do not know which way to go. Glad I have 5 days to make it. It's not an either or decision. I can always sign the waiver at anytime within the 60 day period. In fact, I will sign it before the end of 2015 because I want no part of a joint tax return with her. If I didn't sign it, the divorce would be final on Jan 2nd - my birthday.

Have I told you guys that I never saw my ex again after she left me on July 10th even though we worked across the street from one another for two months. She refused to see me. Since she worked at the front window of the police department, I was reluctant to just walk in and have her cause a commotion.

But, on Labor Day, I walked into the station to see her and drop off some things she had left behind. She saw me coming from the cameras by the door and turned off the office lights and ran from her desk at the window and hid behind file cabinets in the corner of the office. Her co worker came out from behind the bullet proof and bomb proof walls of the office to take the stuff I brought in.

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Her reaction is very telling. She literally refuses to face the consequences of her choice. And you can't make her. All you can do is deal with your side of it. So do your best, she has done her worst.

 

[supafly]

Hey, just a quick comment to Kenneth and PB12 in that I hope you both have a decent weekend, and to keep hanging in there.

I saw both of my favorite teams win championships, received my Master's with straight A's from a top 40 school, and built a new house this year---and it was BY FAR the worst year of my life still. It's unfortunate when we get sick and/or lose those that we love.

Try and remember that everyone is dealing with some kind of adversity/depression/illness/all of the above, and that your situation will get better. Feel free to reach out to me, of any of the other posters in this thread via PM day or night. God Bless both of you.

 

[ralmat55]

Had a rough day. It started bad and didn't improve until I got home from work.

Decided tonight to sign the waiver of appeal and end my marriage on Tuesday. I could play games but what would it get me. I will stay true to my word and get started on the rest of me life.

After working tomorrow morning, my lab and I are heading to my sister's for the weekend. The plan is to tag along with my 2 year old great-nephew and his 1 year old sister as they go trick or treating.. My hope is to steal some of their candy[emoji4]


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[anditsgood]

Had a rough day. It started bad and didn't improve until I got home from work.

Decided tonight to sign the waiver of appeal and end my marriage on Tuesday. I could play games but what would it get me. I will stay true to my word and get started on the rest of me life.

After working tomorrow morning, my lab and I are heading to my sister's for the weekend. The plan is to tag along with my 2 year old great-nephew and his 1 year old sister as they go trick or treating.. My hope is to steal some of their candy[emoji4]


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Have Fun, kids are a blast.
My nieces 3 year old is such a trip

 

[Ring 6]

Had a rough day. It started bad and didn't improve until I got home from work.

Decided tonight to sign the waiver of appeal and end my marriage on Tuesday. I could play games but what would it get me. I will stay true to my word and get started on the rest of me life.

After working tomorrow morning, my lab and I are heading to my sister's for the weekend. The plan is to tag along with my 2 year old great-nephew and his 1 year old sister as they go trick or treating.. My hope is to steal some of their candy[emoji4]


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I am noticing you are becoming more decisive. That is a huge step so try very hard to not second guess yourself. Doing something is he right thing so realize you are making huge strides in the right direction.


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[Tony2046]

Had a rough day. It started bad and didn't improve until I got home from work.

Decided tonight to sign the waiver of appeal and end my marriage on Tuesday. I could play games but what would it get me. I will stay true to my word and get started on the rest of me life.

After working tomorrow morning, my lab and I are heading to my sister's for the weekend. The plan is to tag along with my 2 year old great-nephew and his 1 year old sister as they go trick or treating.. My hope is to steal some of their candy[emoji4]


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Haha.....taking candy from a toddler...

I used to make up beneficial Dad rules during the Holidays for fun. "You have to give me candy....it's the number 1 Halloween rule........you didn't know that?" but those rules only lasted until they reached 4 and then the "whatever Dad" comments started happening.

Anyways glad to hear you are about to begin your new chapter in your life except this time you'll be the author. Should label the chapter "it's about me this time".

Have a great weekend.