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Rd. 7, # 208. Thomas Welch, OL, Vanderbilt. When he’s not turning Foxboro into the University of Really North Florida, Bill’s always trying to get the Pats listed at the top of the Barron’s Guide. Rutgers, Vandy… what, no William and Mary? Five presidents went there, and we’re thin at the president position. I’m sure Welch is a natural mathlete, but with all those smarts, why does nfl.com say he still gets “lost”? He’s an OFFENSIVE LINEMAN… what directions ARE there??? You make the guy in front of you go backwards or fall down. Don’t go backwards. Where the hell is there to get LOST? “Generally goes to the ground too often… .” Please tell me this means he incorrectly assesses situations as amenable to cut blocks… not that he just gets D-caked every play. Welch’s knees are built on the 1970s GI Joe model. Reason for pick: Makes Cunningham pick look genius in training camp, earns keep by keeping Tomase positive until the Sox stop playing. I expected more than this from the FIRST PICK in the seventh round. GRADE = C-, only because I’m grading on the Horrific Bill Belichick Draft Curve.
Rd. 7, # 247. Brandon Deaderick, DE, Alabama. Number 1, this guy is an obvious reach at 247. The Pats could have picked someone else and still got him at 248. That’s the kind of draft strategery most Pats fans just don’t get. It’s the little things that make a draft. Number 2, it’s only 247 picks in, and the Pats grab a guy I haven’t heard of. What a waste of a very high 7th. GRADE = F.
Rd. 7, #248. Kade Weston, DT, Georgia. The only teams interested in Weston are 3-4 defenses, and I sent Patriots.com an e-mail I am sure got through to the coaching staff telling them it’s time to go 4-3. Plays nose tackle. Long arms. Unusual speed for a 315-pounder, 5.0 40. Maxes out at 575 bench press. Drew applause from combine scouts. You ever actually watch the goddam combine? By the time the linemen get worked out, they’d applaud a reading of selected WB Yeats poems – especially the scouts from Vandy and Rutgers. Reason for pick: beat the crap out of Welch if he starts to look good mirroring our faux edge rushers. Could have been had at # 250. GRADE = D, only because he might find me and eat me.
Rd. 7, #250. Zac Robinson, QB, Oklahoma State. Quick release, jersey recognition issues. Throws a nice catchable ball to defensive backs. Not a classic pocket passer; not a classic passer of any variety. Some issues with mechanics, but he got a loan from his dad and now has reliable transportation to and from work – which should be at the Qwickie Mart starting around September. He’s no Rohan Davey. GRADE = CIRCLE F. It’s an Oklahoma thing.
And there you have it my friends, my 2010 Rolling Ignoramous Draft Roundup. Another epic fail New England Patriots draft, a McCluseterfu(k of biblical proportions. Once again, the New England Patriots prove they have no clue as to what the NFL Draft is about, to wit, reading SI.com, Draftgeeks.com, NFL.Com, Antsports.com, and a $12.99 newsprint draft guide they had at Safeway last weekend. The Patriots have, without a doubt, redefined draft-day ineptitude for the last decade, finishing dead last in the NFL, with the possible exception of perhaps – perhaps – 31 other teams.
I’ll be watching closely in training camp, unless of course there’s a supplemental draft for junkies, term paper plagiarists, or chronic DUI cases to watch first. Until then – Stay b1tchy, my friends!
Rd. 7, # 247. Brandon Deaderick, DE, Alabama. Number 1, this guy is an obvious reach at 247. The Pats could have picked someone else and still got him at 248. That’s the kind of draft strategery most Pats fans just don’t get. It’s the little things that make a draft. Number 2, it’s only 247 picks in, and the Pats grab a guy I haven’t heard of. What a waste of a very high 7th. GRADE = F.
Rd. 7, #248. Kade Weston, DT, Georgia. The only teams interested in Weston are 3-4 defenses, and I sent Patriots.com an e-mail I am sure got through to the coaching staff telling them it’s time to go 4-3. Plays nose tackle. Long arms. Unusual speed for a 315-pounder, 5.0 40. Maxes out at 575 bench press. Drew applause from combine scouts. You ever actually watch the goddam combine? By the time the linemen get worked out, they’d applaud a reading of selected WB Yeats poems – especially the scouts from Vandy and Rutgers. Reason for pick: beat the crap out of Welch if he starts to look good mirroring our faux edge rushers. Could have been had at # 250. GRADE = D, only because he might find me and eat me.
Rd. 7, #250. Zac Robinson, QB, Oklahoma State. Quick release, jersey recognition issues. Throws a nice catchable ball to defensive backs. Not a classic pocket passer; not a classic passer of any variety. Some issues with mechanics, but he got a loan from his dad and now has reliable transportation to and from work – which should be at the Qwickie Mart starting around September. He’s no Rohan Davey. GRADE = CIRCLE F. It’s an Oklahoma thing.
And there you have it my friends, my 2010 Rolling Ignoramous Draft Roundup. Another epic fail New England Patriots draft, a McCluseterfu(k of biblical proportions. Once again, the New England Patriots prove they have no clue as to what the NFL Draft is about, to wit, reading SI.com, Draftgeeks.com, NFL.Com, Antsports.com, and a $12.99 newsprint draft guide they had at Safeway last weekend. The Patriots have, without a doubt, redefined draft-day ineptitude for the last decade, finishing dead last in the NFL, with the possible exception of perhaps – perhaps – 31 other teams.
I’ll be watching closely in training camp, unless of course there’s a supplemental draft for junkies, term paper plagiarists, or chronic DUI cases to watch first. Until then – Stay b1tchy, my friends!
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