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I absolutely love this thread title. I also agree with your post.
FWIW, I'm totally in the other camp. I think Parcells' bon mot is given a lot more credence than it deserves, and that the four players named actually have nothing in common when it comes to evaluating their roster chances.
Fells, IMO, is a lock. He had a strong camp and looked good in the first preseason game. The Pats would have to have an awfully short attention span to jettison him for his recent time "in the tub."
Armstead's surgery is a shame, but they still sorely need him at DT. Why on earth would they cut a guy with excellent potential at a need position without giving him a chance to take the field? (And if you're saying he won't be on the 53 because he'll stay on NFI, that's not a case of "can't make the club from the tub" -- it's simply "he's still injured." Or is Gronkowski "not making the club" either?)
Dowling looked rusty in training camp, and if his current injury is related to past problems they may well cut ties, deciding he's not likely to contribute going forward. Nobody's really risen to take his job in his absence, though.
Cunningham was fighting for a roster spot from the get-go, and Benard looks like a thorough upgrade. Does anybody really think Cunningham would have won the job if he'd stayed healthy?
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