Well then, here's another suggestion to quell nerves before watching Pats games (like the thread poster requested)...
How's about a healthy dose of methadone, prescribed by a licensed physician then?
That's been known to take the nervous edge off. Is that a more acceptable and/or "mainstream" response?
I dunno, but being "June Cleaver Decency Policed" by some guy with the name Joker with an attached mug shot seems pretty rife with irony.
(sent using my potato with prongs, rigged to el barrio streetlight pole)