Patriotology... The Old Kingdom, the Middle Kingdom, the New Kingdom?
Artifacts found in Foxborough, Massachusetts, include the so-called "treasure room," where jewel-encrusted rings and silver trophies can be found in layers, interspersed with layers of ball caps and t-shirts. Archaelogists are uncertain, but they believe that the Old Kingdom found its zenith in the years 2001-2004, a time undiluted by strife and controversy. A disastrous campaign in 2007, whose mythic character has been compared to the image of Icarus flying too close to the sun, ended in tragedy - because it was so successful, yet so tragically foiled at the last moment. Thereafter the Horus-like figure identified alternately as TB12 and TFB seems to have undergone a death and resurrection ritual, which was truly completed by 2014. Thereafter, though known as "the Ancient one," he only became more powerful and ascendant, able to guide the New Kingdom through sheer will alone*
Throughout the New Kingdom, there was great wailing and gnashing of teeth in Seattle, Atlanta, and as always, New York. Pittsburgh too, but Patriotologists are not certain why.
* Patriotologists are still at odds over the historicity of the ultimate battle of the 2016 campaign, in which the Patriots' death and resurrection is so similar to that of TB12 (or TFB) that most believe the account to be a mythical embellishment on the resurrection of TB12 himself. None doubt the final outcome but the manner in which it was achieved stretches credulity.
Patriotologists are likewise puzzled as to how the team, all the way up until 2017, was unable to take its proper place among the legendary great franchises in American football history. Evidence suggests that unlike their fellow dynasties in Green Bay, San Francisco, Dallas, Pittsburgh and even fellow Super Bowl-winning AFL teams like Kansas City and Oakland, the Patriots inexplicably abandoned the logo and uniform which they, along with the above mentioned, settled on and stuck with since the early sixties, the acknowledged beginning of the Modern Era, in favor of "James Busch Orthwein's marketing team's decision after five minutes in Foxboro after being assigned there by the league to institute a total makeover, due to their complete agreement with the league's, national and local media's depiction of the franchise as 'broken and ridiculed', such that exceptional and heroic players, coaches and loyal fans of thirty-three years were utterly irrelevant, worthy of utter disparagement, or otherwise basically nonexistent; thus at their request NFL Properties hastily conjuring up an ugly, humiliating corpse-like impostor, before Coach Parcells (instrumental and essential in the team's ultimate rise to the top) arrival later that year, and a year previous to Orthwein's final offer to buy out the Kraft lease and move the team to St. Louis."
Further discovery reveals that, in 2002, even with clearly a generational quarterback in hand to potentially lead the team to unprecedented glory and an initial world title already in hand, and the merciful departure by then of Orthwein, Parcells, Bledsoe and the old stadium, Kraft persisted in clutching onto the classless, tasteless, lifeless image named for its strikingly inappropriate image of a "flying elvis", virtually identical to its ancestor which was booed unanimously out of a packed Schaefer Stadium at a game in 1979, in favor of the team's real, classic, and superior logo.
The injustice done to Brady preventing him from taking his rightful place alongside Starr, Dawson, Namath, Staubach, Bradshaw and Montana seems to have been caught and corrected before the 2017 season, just in time for the team's last three championships under Brady. What or who exactly influenced owner Kraft to restore the team's identity is unclear; only three cryptic initials appear, which so far baffle Patriotologists: "A P F"...
