Yesterday was a great day. The best I've had in a long time. Today has been an immense struggle thanks to a report on the "Today show " and a pair of sneakers.
The "Today" show report was about the boy band "One Direction" playing their final show in Sheffield, England which is Close to where I think my ex is now living.
The sneakers were on my great-nephews feet and lit up when he walked. It reminded me of a few years ago. My ex's then union rep was making trips to Haiti after the earthquake. He told her of the deplorable conditions Haitian children were living in. She took it upon herself to buy clothing for them for him to take to them, we spent a ton of money buying those clothes.
One day we were at Walmart looking to buy them some sneakers because she was told they needed footwear. She saw those sneakers that lit up and she insisted on buying them even though I protested it was not practical. Her reasoning was that they would grow out of them quickly anyway, and she wanted them to have something special that they might remember throughout their lives. I consented to her logic..
It's been a tough day.
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Have you ever seen throughout your life a couple in which one treats the other like trash and you think, "Damn why does he/she put up with that?". Or on a lighter side watched a Horror movie and just can't understand why the obvious "next victim" doesn't just get the hell out of there? Stop victimizing yourself with these memories. Start understanding that for whatever reason she was not the right one
for you. The key words in that last sentence being
"for you". It is not whether you were good enough for her but the other way around.
I'll offer you an admittedly dumb analogy but hopefully the point is clear. I once bought an old rusty 4x4 truck. I had always wanted one. I customized it. Fixed it up. Kept sinking money into it to fix problems and then more problems but there were times in which it ran smoothly but those times were somewhat rare. After years of working on it and sinking money into it I was finally at a point where I was going to have the body work done including a completely new paint job but unfortunately, while on my way to a night class, I got into a massive accident and totaled it. I was crushed. I could have avoided that accident but I was working so many hours and trying to go to school that I was getting little sleep and I was simply not awake enough to avoid the accident. Luckily nobody got hurt btw. In need of transportation a buddy and I ran down to one of those infamous used car lots and found a small compact car which I promptly overpaid for because of my credit issues at the time. But a funny thing happened after I bought that car. A few month's later I realized that I had not had one single money sucking issue with it and that I had only filled the tank up three or four times. I suddenly had extra cash in my pocket and was able to spend time doing other enjoyable things. In other words that accident was a blessing in disguise. I no longer had to worry about getting to work late or fixing a new vibration etc...and the money I was saving was just incredible. I was spending about a 3rd on gas and saving about $250 per month not having to buy parts. No longer had to work as many hours. With that extra cash I bought a membership to a gym and played a round of golf once in awhile. It was definitely a blessing in disguise.
I hope you understand what I was driving at there.
I really do not understand your Ex's rational. Besides the "hiding behind the filing cabinet" thing. Who in the hell runs of to a
foreign country to be with a guy she
met online who is from England? Kenneth this had nothing to do with you or what you were doing. If you are sitting around thinking "could I have done something better?", the answer is clearly NO you could not have stopped that. She could have been married to anyone and she would have pulled this stunt. I hope you see that. She left her job, her friends, her family, her dogs and everything else to chase a cinderella dream. Her whole life wasn't good enough for her.
Anyways I hope you start looking forward.
Have a great week.
