NFL Limerick Contest

[PatsDeb]

There once was a safety named Chung.
We dumped him because he was dung.
Then when he got old,
He came back in the fold.
Most of the fans felt quite stung.

 

[Sicilian]

There once was a safety named Chung.
We dumped him because he was dung.
Then when he got old,
He came back in the fold.
Most of the fans felt quite stung.

I came back into this thread to make a Chung limerick, and literally the first two lines were exactly what you have here. You win this round, DEB.

 

[Tunescribe]

Aw, let's give the guy another chance ...

There once was a safety named Chung
Who was cut when he still was quite young
He came back to the team
Pats fans griped and they screamed
But perhaps we should all hold our tongue

 

[Sicilian]

Oh fine, altered a tad

There once was a safety named Chung,
In coverage was slower than mung,
But despite getting burned,
He always returned,
No matter how far he was flung.

 

[buile]

a hyaku:

Snow plow, Chicago Bears,
watch Stingly paralyzed;
Old highlights realy sad

Ouch, lurker

 

[buile]

C'mon, this was fun... there's gotta be more out there....

There once was a team from Seattle
Who never quite got in the saddle
Started with Zorn
Forgotten, forlorn
Then whipped Broncos like tired old cattle.

 

[mayoclinic]

C'mon, this was fun... there's gotta be more out there....

Bob Irsay, who owns Indy's Colts
Is one of the world's greatest dolts.
His twitter tirades
And his drug escapades
Are repulsive to most other folks.

 

[mayoclinic]

Bob Irsay, who owns Indy's Colts
Is one of the world's greatest dolts.
His twitter tirades
And his drug escapades
Are repulsive to most other folks.

I meant Jim Irsay, of course. I went back to fix it, but the server was already offline for the intended migration, and now it won't let me edit it.

Here's a couple of others:


There once was a QB named Romo
Who’d end every game with a no-no:
He’d first move the sticks
And then throw a pick-six.
Jones'd cry when he saw it in slo-mo.


The Redskin’s QB RG III
Was all about “me, me, me, me”.
Instead of relaxin’
They signed DeSean Jackson
And hoped they would sing “we, we, we."

 

[buile]

Broadway Joe never really took issue
With fur coats or "guarantees" that diss you.
So woefully floozy
When chattin' with Suzy
His legacy became 'I wanna kiss you'

 

[West Philly Patriot]

There once was a poster named Tune

Who's lack of self awareness

was most inopportune

He made pre-assessments

About a subculture he totally neglected

to learn an iota about.

 

[mayoclinic]

The Ravens’ QB is Joe Flacco;
John Harbaugh’s a little bit whacko.
He said “just ask my mother:
The worst one’s my brother,
So please don’t give me any flack-o.”


Jim Harbaugh was really quite whacky
He wore nothing but very cheap khaki.
He’d lie, cheat or tattle
To get past Seattle
And do all kind of things that were tacky.

 

[mayoclinic]

Broadway Joe never really took issue
With fur coats or "guarantees" that diss you.
So woefully floozy
When chattin' with Suzy
His legacy became 'I wanna kiss you'

There once was a Patsfan named Buile
Whose limericks were loaded with style.
His quite clever rhymes
Were hilarious at times;
No limit was there to his guile.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

When things don't turn out like we planned em,
Bill's off-season upgrades aren't random:
Watches game-film like porn,
Crunches numbers til morn,
Then hires whoever's named Brandon

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Forget what the average fan sez,
Just listen to what Bill my man sez:
The tight end position,
Is, uh, in transition,
And no, we're not paying Hernandez*

* any more than is absolutely necessary

 

[Dingleberry]

There once was a QB named Romo
Who’d end every game with a no-no:
He’d first move the sticks
And then throw a pick-six.
Jones'd cry when he saw it in slo-mo.

Extra credit for this one--not going with the over-used and cliche' "homo" to rhyme with Romo!

 

[Peachhead]

BB was a coach who fished on Nantucket
When the Jets made him HC he said "****** it"
So to Foxboro he went
Told the Jets to "Get bent"
Soon Bledsoe was gone like Jim Plunkett

 

[Brady_12]

There was once a JETS QB named Sanchez.
He sucked.

 

[Deus Irae]

There once was a coach named Rex Ryan
His teams were famous for tryin'
He lost lots of weight
His team went eight and eight
And then all the fan base was cryin'

 

[mayoclinic]

When things don't turn out like we planned em,
Bill's off-season upgrades aren't random:
Watches game-film like porn,
Crunches numbers til morn,
Then hires whoever's named Brandon

Bill drafts guys of whom we've not heard:
Logan (1st), Tavon (2nd), Duron (3rd).
His moves make Mel Kiper
Poop into his diaper
Expressing his view with a turd.

 

[Horace's Ivories]

There once was an island named Revis
An oasis so great it did please us
Fleet men came to stay
'Relle chased them away
To a Meeting of Coming to Jesus.