NFL Limerick Contest

[Dingleberry]

Because it's off-season. Because free agency has died down. Because the draft is still some time in the future.

Give us your best effort at a NFL-themed limerick. You all know the most famous one (There once was a man from Nantucket) which I inspired

Here's my first two...based on our two most popular targets.


There once was a fat man named Rex
Whose team has a 40 year hex.
How'd he get so humongous
Eating cheese, jam, and fungus
While quenching his lust for foot sex?


There's a QB with a giant forehead
A hillbilly who looks quite inbred.
It will be a such a shame
That he'll play his last game
Still desperate for post season cred.

 

[Tunescribe]

You know this receiver named Jackson
Who just can't own up to his actions
He's been courted by Snyder
Most owners are brighter
In dodging such awful distractions

 

[Dingleberry]

You know this receiver named Jackson
Who just can't own up to his actions
He's been courted by Snyder
Most owners are brighter
In dodging such awful distractions

Damn, good one so quick!


There once was a bigot named Tunescribe
Who littered the board with his diatribe
Don't know if you've heard
That DJax is a turd....
blah, blah, something that rhymes with bribe...or imbibe (I'll think of something later)

 

[Tunescribe]

Some people think others are racist
When there just ain't no logical basis
They should look in the mirror
Before raising such furor
This wrangling is nothing but tasteless

 

[JoeSixPat]

Fans of teams popular in Nantucket really shouldn't be looking to limericks to mock other teams.

 

[Dingleberry]

Fans of teams popular in Nantucket really shouldn't be looking to limericks to mock other teams.

Ok, I'll do a Jet fan limerick. But the Nantucket Limerick is kind of a compliment. Well, sort of.


There once was a player named Brady
His three Super Bowl titles are shady
It was a fumble in the snow
Then there's spygate you know
And he is not a man, he's a lady.

 

[Tunescribe]

Fans of teams popular in Nantucket really shouldn't be looking to limericks to mock other teams.

There was a Pats fan from Nantucket
Who would chew and then spit in a bucket
When the Pats played the Jets
He placed all kinds of bets
Cuz the Jets would screw up and say "Phuck it!"

 

[Brady'sButtBoy]

The Pats had a huge tackle named Vince
Whose slap downs made running backs wince
He wanted more money
To spend on his honey
And Big Daddy Kraft paid his prince

 

[livinginthe past]

There once was a guy called Amendola
Whose popularity rivalled New! Coca Cola.
If we give him a chance
We'll go to 'the dance'
And make Brady6 choke on his morning granola.

 

[RayClay]

Aqib's parting remarks came to peave us
But we then signed up ace Darrel Revis
Then we signed Brandon Browner
And that ain't no downer
We'll be rockin' like Butthead and Bevis.

heh heh.








I am Cornholio!!

 

[RayClay]

Speed and talent Dee Jackson has oft' shown
And dances like he has no backbone
He sometimes shakes his hips
Other times even flips
Wish he'd waited til he reached the end zone

 

[nabwong]

The pats have an owner named kraft
Who seats in the war room come draft
He'll trade some of his picks
Give one pick up six
Cos the other teams' owners are all daft.

 

[PATSNUTme]

Damn, good one so quick!


There once was a bigot named Tunescribe
Who littered the board with his diatribe
Don't know if you've heard
That DJax is a turd....
blah, blah, something that rhymes with bribe...or imbibe (I'll think of something later)

There are posters who like to call names
Like racist, idiots, morons,bigots- it's all the same
they do this from the safety of their keyboards, because they can
But if they keep it up they will be headed for a ban.

 

[Brady'sButtBoy]

The Pat's All Time Great is named Tommy
Who nailed hot Gisele for a mommy
He's wearing three rings
Gold enough for ten kings
But burns for one more til he's balmy

 

[Brady'sButtBoy]

We root for our G.O.A.T. coach called Bill
Who shellacks dumb ass Rex for a thrill
When he pulls on his hoodie
The fans get a woody
As he takes out the Jets for the kill

 

[PatsDeb]

These are really good, except for the silly ones that make personal accusations. Here's mine and I'll try to think of more!

There once was a team called the Pats.
Their fans would have all sorts of spats.
Over dumb things like Brady,
and whether his stats were shady.
They're worse than Repubs and Democrats!

 

[PatsDeb]

There once was the AFC East,
Where the Pats were always the beast!
Neither Bill, Phin nor Jet
Dared come to Gillette
Cause on them the Patriots would feast!

 

[RobAllan]

There once was a green dirty Sanchez
Who fumbled at another man's haunches
His butt hit the ground
As his head turned around
Causing a million funny meme launches

Peyton Manning leaves mediots doting
His forehead they're constantly quoting
But they held a fan poll
After the Superbowl
And he lost in the first round of voting

There was a good friend of Rob Lowe
Who might have a problem with blow
He owned a good team
That's been losing steam
And won't make the Superbowl

 

[Deus Irae]

There once was a man from Nantucket
He knew the Jets suck, too

 

[PatsDeb]

There once was a fan from Nantucket,
Laughed so hard he threw up in a bucket.
He watched Sanchez run
Behind Brandon Moore's bun
He tried to get by, but he struck it.