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My wife passed away

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Oct 31st

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betterthanthealternative

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There was a post earlier in this thread that said the op raised the level of the board. I disagree.

As my wife would have said " y'all's " responses have done that.

That type of a response makes this much much more than an anonymous message board.

Thank you all.

Still thinking about you this morning.
You've got a long emotional pathway with many bends in front of you.
Keep breathing, and come back and talk football when you are ready. We're here when you are, and she'd want you to.
 

Patjew

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Pape, I am so sorry for your loss. That was a beautiful tribute to your wife.

Unfortunately I know what you are going through. Time does help. If you'd ever like to speak or meet (I'm in Barrington, RI), I would be happy to when you're ready. Could be next week or next year.

Take good care of yourself.
 

Tbone7112000

On the Roster
I haven't had the pleasure of getting to know you, but what an amazing tribute to your wife! Seems like you two shared a love very few are fortunate to experience. I know you're hurting, but I trust that you're grateful for every moment you shared. It sounds like the your "better half" bravely battled physical ailments for a long while. May I suggest you listen to a song by Casting Crowns called "Scars in Heaven"? If you do listen I hope it brings you comfort. Either way - I'm gutted for your loss.
 

nabwong

Vice President of Boycott NFL Club
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2019 Weekly Picks Winner
I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you have a mountain of beautiful memories and that she will be blessed in the afterlife.
 

Joey007

Pro Bowl Player
Pape:

The time you experienced with your wife on this Earth seems like it was an experience most can only wish they’d experience.

I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and I won’t even try to begin imagining or to try to relate. But the way you just described your love for your wife.. you’re clearly a very lucky man. So many go through this life and they don’t feel what you felt for her. They simply can’t write what you wrote.

This experience called life never goes the way we predict it. It can be more amazing than we can ever imagine, and there are the times where it can be worse than we ever imagined. I do truly believe that good things come out of the midst of all tragedy. Time shows us these things in a way that sometimes is unexplainable. She’s still here through you now. She left that indelible mark, and you’ll always have her there. She made you a better man.

God bless you and your family during this time. I pray for beautiful things to come in the future for you. Thank you for sharing with all of us. PatsFans definitely takes care of their own.
 

Lavictoire

Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job
What a beautiful tribute. This is so heartbreaking, I share in your grief and prayed for you. Have hope, there are comforting words about a better time in the future for all the world when we will be reunited with our loved ones. Rev 21:4 "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."
 

cupofjoe1962

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So sorry to hear of the passing of your wife.

I lost my 54 year old wife 3 1/2 years ago to breast cancer after we both battled cancer at the same time.

Life us not easy & unfortunately some times we need to deal with things that throw our love & faith for a loop.

Life is not easy, or fair, but life continues.

You will never forget her & she will be with
You in spirit.
 

Patjew

PatsFans.com Supporter
PatsFans.com Supporter
So sorry to hear of the passing of your wife.

I lost my 54 year old wife 3 1/2 years ago to breast cancer after we both battled cancer at the same time.

Life us not easy & unfortunately some times we need to deal with things that throw our love & faith for a loop.

Life is not easy, or fair, but life continues.

You will never forget her & she will be with
You in spirit.
Tragic. I'm very sorry for your loss, too. I hope you are doing well.

In my early, dark days, this place was such a great support to me. I will always love @Ian and so, so many others here for their outpouring of support. @Pape , sometimes cyber friends are the best friends. Lean on us when you can.
 

Pape

In the Starting Line-Up
Tragic. I'm very sorry for your loss, too. I hope you are doing well.

In my early, dark days, this place was such a great support to me. I will always love @Ian and so, so many others here for their outpouring of support. @Pape , sometimes cyber friends are the best friends. Lean on us when you can.
The support here has been tremendous. It has helped me through some dark minutes, hours, days.

I cannot thank every one who has participated, in even the tiniest way, enough.
 

patsox23

Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract
At the end of July my wife passed away.

It was 13 years ago to the day that I first met her in person. We arranged a meet up in Atlanta, Georgia at DragonCon 2008.

We had met online a few years earlier. It was around 2004-2005, Battle Star Galactica had hit it big. My brother and I watched the show religiously. He wanted to know what the ranks and insignias were all about, I said I'd go on-line to look it up. Found myself on the Sci-Fi.com (now SyFy - the guy who made that name and trade marked it is a dick btw) forums. There were a bunch of boards there, the biggest being the one for Battle Star Galactica. But, half way down the index page was a forum for Firefly... I loved that show, and was heartbroken when fox had cancelled it. I became a regular poster there, along with maybe 20-30 other Browncoats. Day in day out, we chatted with each other, became friends ... all that good stuff.

My better half was there and thats where I met her. We started chatting on the boards... which soon became messaging each other, then emailing, then talking to each other all the time via Yahoo messaging. After a while, she was like "we gotta meet, in person". I dragged my feet for a short bit, but ultimately relented. Wasn't sure where this was going... She lived in a little itty bitty town in Texas named Trinity, I was in RI. so we went to DragonCon, and sparks flew. We enjoyed the Con, spent the rest of the time pouring ourselves into cabs after spending too much time in the local restaurants and bars... lol, it was one hell of a long weekend. I started flying to Texas on the regular. She started coming to RI when she could get off work. We would day trip around Texas or New England, depending on where we were. We just had fun together. No real plans, no hidden agenda. Meet up in New Orleans? Great! Fly down to Houston or the Woodlands to see a concert or two? Fantastic.

In 2013, we finally tied it all up, and moved her to Rhode Island. We had been together ever since. I think since she moved here we had spent less than 3 weeks total apart. We were always together.

A few years ago she started having health issues. One problem... then another. We'd adapt. We'd learn how to manage her issues. No more long hikes hikes thru Trustom Pond NWF? No worries...Ninigret park had some smaller trails. It really didnt matter, because we were together. We worked on things, we got her back to mostly healthy. We could do things. Go fishing at the Quonnie Breachway... Spend the day on Sandy Point... Picnic at the Narragansett Seawall... Spend the Weekend on Block Island... Visit the Stonington Lighthouse Museum... Whale Watches... Carpenters Farmstand... Daytrip to Bristol... see shows at the Stadium Theater (she loved seeing Three Dog Night there!).

2020 was a bad year. It started with her having two surgeries in February and March on her neck to fuse two spinal vertebrae, and then to repair the hardware in her lumber region. She was in constant pain. Couldnt take pain meds, as she was allergic to all of the heavy hitters. She started using a walker near full time. Wheelchairs became part of our lives. And when she couldn't manage, I would carry her.

Back in November, we were supposed to go to Texas for Thanksgiving. She had been feeling rundown for months. Didnt know what it was, but it was something. A week before we were supposed to go, her doctors started calling. Wanted her to get blood work done. She did, they didnt like what they saw. Wanted her in the hospital. she called her doc and said she would take care of it after she got back. Well one doc called another, and then another. she was adamant though. They talked her into getting checked out / more blood work done once more before we left. The day we were supposed to leave, I brought her to the Hospital for tests at 7 am. Brought her home to wait on the result. I packed the car, packed up the food she was bringing. Told her to start packing her bags. Brought her back to the bedroom so she could pack. Half hour later, I came in and she was crying. She couldn't manage. So instead of packing her bags for vacation, we packed a bag for the hospital.

Within 72 hours of being admitted, she was put on a ventilator for the first time. She had sepsis, and her body had gone into shock from ARDS, acute respiratory distress syndrome. She eventually recovered, and came home December 31st. They had found out what caused the sepsis. Had dealt with it the best they could. Wasnt good enough. The day after I got her home, January 1, 2021, the hospital called, said she had been pre-admitted and she needed to come back to the hospital. Five times over the course of 2021 this happened, five times she had extended stays in various ICUs between Westerly, Lawrence & Memorial and Yale... five times she spend up to two weeks on a ventilator.

She fought harder than I have ever seen anyone fight. Day In Day Out. Never quit. Always fought to come home.

Now, shes not coming home to me.

I am at a loss. I have family and friends I can lean on. But I feel isolated. I come home to an empty house. where the was once a bustling kitchen, there is now silence. Where there was once the blaring voice of Guy Fieri echoing thru the living room, there is silence. I feel like I am on auto pilot. Most of the time I am just numb. Until the sadness wells up and takes over. I sleep maybe four hours a night. I have nightmares, where I used to sleep like a log. I dont remember them, but i wake and the sheets are all pulled off the corners of the bed... The worst are what I call the waking nightmares... the images that infrequently come to mind while I am awake... When those happen, I need to stop what I am doing til they pass....

I do know that life goes on. Time heals, mostly. I do know that I will be ok, eventually.

I love her, and I miss her.

I'm so, so sorry. What a lovely tribute. You are so lucky to have had that, although of course heartbroken to have it cut so tragically short. Hang in there. You'll be in our thoughts.
 

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