Ice_Ice_Brady
where black is the color where none is the number
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2006
- Messages
- 26,977
- Reaction score
- 53,350
Tom,
As you know I've been assigned by Commissioner Goodell to investigate what happened during the AFC Championship Game. Thus far, I've spoken to numerous sources, scoured through documents, poured over surveillance videos, and turned over every rock, yet I have been unable to find a smoking gun that shows you were involved in intentionally deflating footballs. I have, however, found some text messages from two of your colleagues, and my team is working on how to remove their greater context and extrapolate buzz words and phrases that will cast you in a negative light. You can review my report on Richie Incognito to get a sense of how I might humiliate you by including irrelevant texts that are put under a public microscope for the mere purpose of softening your character as I prepare to hammer you.
Although you have specifically bargained within the player's union for the right to privacy in your private communications, and even though I don't have any specific request, such as a certain conversation or correspondence at a certain date or time, I would like to request that you send me all of your text messages, emails, and cellular phones for the last six months. Though I have absolutely no legal right to ask you for any of these communications, failure to cooperate will result in in severe punishments.
Thank you for your cooperation. And thank you so very much for helping me to build a case against you. The NFL will be so mad at me if I come back with nothing but a bunch of numbers proving nothing.
Oh by the way, why would you suddenly be in frequent contact with your equipment manager, ever since you found out that your equipment has come under scrutiny? Seems weird that after finding out you were being accused of deflating footballs, you would call the person who you pay to prepare your footballs for the games. I can't for the life of me figure this out, except to think that you are GUILTY. Just thinking aloud.
Sincerely,
Ted "scumbag of the earth" Wells
As you know I've been assigned by Commissioner Goodell to investigate what happened during the AFC Championship Game. Thus far, I've spoken to numerous sources, scoured through documents, poured over surveillance videos, and turned over every rock, yet I have been unable to find a smoking gun that shows you were involved in intentionally deflating footballs. I have, however, found some text messages from two of your colleagues, and my team is working on how to remove their greater context and extrapolate buzz words and phrases that will cast you in a negative light. You can review my report on Richie Incognito to get a sense of how I might humiliate you by including irrelevant texts that are put under a public microscope for the mere purpose of softening your character as I prepare to hammer you.
Although you have specifically bargained within the player's union for the right to privacy in your private communications, and even though I don't have any specific request, such as a certain conversation or correspondence at a certain date or time, I would like to request that you send me all of your text messages, emails, and cellular phones for the last six months. Though I have absolutely no legal right to ask you for any of these communications, failure to cooperate will result in in severe punishments.
Thank you for your cooperation. And thank you so very much for helping me to build a case against you. The NFL will be so mad at me if I come back with nothing but a bunch of numbers proving nothing.
Oh by the way, why would you suddenly be in frequent contact with your equipment manager, ever since you found out that your equipment has come under scrutiny? Seems weird that after finding out you were being accused of deflating footballs, you would call the person who you pay to prepare your footballs for the games. I can't for the life of me figure this out, except to think that you are GUILTY. Just thinking aloud.
Sincerely,
Ted "scumbag of the earth" Wells
