Jets Suck -- 2016 Edition (Official): Futility Confirmed

[Tunescribe]

Ryan Fitzpatrick should win the MVP

Most Vertical Picks?

 

[BTTA]

Did this get reported already? Looks like yesterday's win really did bring on a wave of optimism:

AP source: Jets keeping coach, GM for next season

 

[RobertWeathers]

Did this get reported already? Looks like yesterday's win really did bring on a wave of optimism:

AP source: Jets keeping coach, GM for next season

Woody gave Bowles a vote of confidence last week.

2017 is do or die for both of those clowns

 

[Bill Lee]

Woody gave Bowles a vote of confidence last week.

2017 is do or die for both of those clowns

My money is on 'or die'. They've got very little talent on the roster, in particular at QB. The odds of turning it around in one season is very low. It makes one wonder how they talked Woody into giving them one more year.

In any case, things are right on schedule. Season ends with false hope after Fitzy has a decent game and the Bills start EJ Manuel and then put in Cardinale Jones. All is right in the Jets world. Macca and Blowes get votes of confidence. Time for another off-season championship! And then, the inevitable crash and burn rebuild cycle, and massive therapy bills for Jets fans.

Even the NY media is trying to warn Jets fans:

http://nypost.com/2017/01/01/hopeless-jets-fans-are-turning-to-therapists-for-treatment/

Granat said his Jet-fan patients are “chipper” the Monday morning after a rare win, but “have a little less hop in their step” after another loss.

Staten Island psychologist Angelo Contino has a patient who “wastes the first 10 minutes” of every session fuming about what the Jets “should have done” to avoid yet another brutal loss.

“He’s convinced that if only he could call the plays, they’d do much better,” Dr. Contino said.

Aldo Fossella, a psychotherapist in practice for over 35 years, says the Jets are contributing to the crash-and-burn of one Staten Island marriage.

A Wall Street guy in his 30s in weekly couples’ counseling since October “doesn’t communicate,” Fossella said.

But after the team was humiliated by the Colts, 41-10, on “Monday Night Football” recently, he became especially sullen.

His wife complained, “He’s moping around, and he’s taking it out on me. The Jets are ruining our marriage.”

The solution is obvious:

Granat’s advice to sad-sack Jet followers? Switch teams.

“It’s America. You are free to root for whatever team you like if it makes you feel better. Like a bad marriage, [you] don’t have to stay forever,” he said.

That’s easy for Granat to say. He’s a Giants fan.

 

[PatsWickedPissah]

The only downside to perennial Jet sucking is that Roger JETdell will spend the next months scheming up the next faux Patriots infraction. My consolation is that he is an absolute moron.

 

[Tunescribe]

My money is on 'or die'. They've got very little talent on the roster, in particular at QB. The odds of turning it around in one season is very low. It makes one wonder how they talked Woody into giving them one more year.

In any case, things are right on schedule. Season ends with false hope after Fitzy has a decent game and the Bills start EJ Manuel and then put in Cardinale Jones. All is right in the Jets world. Macca and Blowes get votes of confidence. Time for another off-season championship! And then, the inevitable crash and burn rebuild cycle, and massive therapy bills for Jets fans.

Even the NY media is trying to warn Jets fans:

http://nypost.com/2017/01/01/hopeless-jets-fans-are-turning-to-therapists-for-treatment/








The solution is obvious:

People think this thread is just a frivolous joke, but my claim that it represents a vital public service continues to be verified by reputable outside sources:

Link: http://nypost.com/2017/01/01/hopele...ebook&utm_medium=SocialFlow&sr_share=facebook

“The Jets have been mismanaged since 1969,” says Dr. Jay P. Granat, a psychotherapist who has worked with Olympic athletes.

“They’ve been through quite a few head coaches and quite a few quarterbacks. The fans are down and the players are down. There is a hopelessness to the Jets. The feeling of hopelessness is one of the main things we see with depression.”

Granat said several of his patients are ready to give up their season’s tickets, and one New York City cop who’s been in therapy for three years is mulling becoming a Dallas Cowboys fan to save his sanity.

Granat said the 48-year-old starts off his sessions saying life “isn’t so good and the Jets are making it worse losing year after year after year.”

Then there’s the 50-year-old engineer from New Jersey who has been in therapy for 20 years and uses his sessions to methodically break down the Jets’ flaws.

 

[1960Pats]

ASTOUNDING statement win today by the Green Beans! Fizzlepack bounced back with a solid effort, 20-of-30 for 210 yards and two touchdowns, making a strong case for returning next year as New Jersey's starting quarterback. Lots of Green Beans saved their jobs in this gutsy, heads-up effort.

Fitspicksix looked as good as he ever has, especially considering all the fake injuries. Give him a game ball.

We also can't leave out the coaching when the game balls are handed out. That kickoff for a TD play was breathtaking. It reminded me of the AFC champion Pats playoff run of 86.

The Pats better win the SB this year because the Bowles movement is coming our way.

 

[1960Pats]

People think this thread is just a frivolous joke, but my claim that it represents a vital public service continues to be verified by reputable outside sources:

Link: http://nypost.com/2017/01/01/hopele...ebook&utm_medium=SocialFlow&sr_share=facebook

“The Jets have been mismanaged since 1969,” says Dr. Jay P. Granat, a psychotherapist who has worked with Olympic athletes.

“They’ve been through quite a few head coaches and quite a few quarterbacks. The fans are down and the players are down. There is a hopelessness to the Jets. The feeling of hopelessness is one of the main things we see with depression.”

Granat said several of his patients are ready to give up their season’s tickets, and one New York City cop who’s been in therapy for three years is mulling becoming a Dallas Cowboys fan to save his sanity.

Granat said the 48-year-old starts off his sessions saying life “isn’t so good and the Jets are making it worse losing year after year after year.”

Then there’s the 50-year-old engineer from New Jersey who has been in therapy for 20 years and uses his sessions to methodically break down the Jets’ flaws.

Here's Dr Granat talking with one of the other NJ teams...

 

[1960Pats]

The only downside to perennial Jet sucking is that Roger JETdell will spend the next months scheming up the next faux Patriots infraction. My consolation is that he is an absolute moron.

Goodell reminds me of the guy who bets on a game and everyone bets the other way because they know it's a sure thing.

Goodell is also like some of the kids we used to hire as summer help that would screw up everything.

I'd be much more concerned if Goody & the Jests were trying to help us.

 

[Joker]

so...rooting for the Rats causes mental illness?

wow...that's a stretch...or not.

 

[luuked]

Woody almost figured out how Twitter works..



EDIT: As @Danny said, Woody deleted his tweet by now.

 

[Delicate Genius]

Woody almost figured out how Twitter works..

 

[Kontradiction]

Wonder what he was about to call Kraft. My best guess is "pu$sy".

 

[Tony2046]

so...rooting for the Rats causes mental illness?

wow...that's a stretch...or not.

The professional term is Acute Suckosis which is recognizable by symptomatic stages:

First is the slightly delusional: Usually a cheerleader type with a cleverly decorated power symbol such as a fireman hat. This individual may retire then unretire then retire and then unretire. (The added eye paint insinuates that the Suckosis is worsening.)


The above delusional cheerleader type is usually accompanied by a grammarly deficient group of followers:



The Next stage of the Suckosis is diagnosed when the (power symbol) digresses into an urge to wear a moronic toy passenger Hess plane on one's head. (the peak of this stage is usually identifiable when an added matching super hero cape is worn)

IOW if you find yourself thinking, "WTF??" after seeing such an individual he most likely has reached the second stage.




The third stage and probably the most identifiable stage is when these individuals post rebuttals and delusional reasonings in a Patsfans chat forum.

OK, no sense making things look worse than they are. The season was bad enough.

Our stadium is ALWAYS damn near empty minutes before kickoff. The club sections (of which there are a **** ton) are packed at that point, and people are waiting 'til the last second to come in from tailgates.

Add in a meaningless game and it's even worse. But I was actually shocked at the attendance today. Looked to be 70% full at points.

The fourth stage: The rock bottom stage which is a critical juncture with Suckosis. It's either a moment of clarity which may lead to withdrawal or a moment of eternal suckage.

The moment of clarity type:


The Eternal Suckage type:

 

[JetFan79]

The professional term is Acute Suckosis which is recognizable by symptomatic stages:

First is the slightly delusional: Usually a cheerleader type with a cleverly decorated power symbol such as a fireman hat. This individual may retire then unretire then retire and then unretire. (The added eye paint insinuates that the Suckosis is worsening.)


The above delusional cheerleader type is usually accompanied by a grammarly deficient group of followers:



The Next stage of the Suckosis is diagnosed when the (power symbol) digresses into an urge to wear a moronic toy passenger Hess plane on one's head. (the peak of this stage is usually identifiable when an added matching super hero cape is worn)

IOW if you find yourself thinking, "WTF??" after seeing such an individual he most likely has reached the second stage.




The third stage and probably the most identifiable stage is when these individuals post rebuttals and delusional reasonings in a Patsfans chat forum.




The fourth stage: The rock bottom stage which is a critical juncture with Suckosis. It's either a moment of clarity which may lead to withdrawal or a moment of eternal suckage.

The moment of clarity type:


The Eternal Suckage type:

OMG OMG OMG

This is a truly humbling experience. To be ranked above Ed and Captain Jet is a tremendous honor.

There are plenty to thank (family, friends and Jets of course) but to keep things short and sweet, I'd just like to thank those directly responsible for this performance.

@Joker and @Tunescribe ... You guys deserve this just as much as me. Couldn't have done it without you.

Just like Halle had to sleep with an old white dude to get her award, I had you two. You both are my Billy Bobs!

 

[SVN]

hilarious

 

[Gumby]

hilarious

"The Buffalo Bills played the part of the" Jests'. LOL

 

[Bill Lee]

hilarious

I love how incredulous they were that Revis made a tackle!

Joe just hates the Jets roster, and thinks Bowles should be fired.

He does have a point, that if the NYJ plays a London game it'll be a home game for Woody!

That'll get rid of one home game with lots of empty seats at MetLife.

Thanks for posting, it's always fun to hear the NY media trash the Jets!

 

[JetFan79]

... it's always fun to hear the NY media trash the Jets!

Agreed here. Sucks when the Jets aren't good, but the NY media most definitely aren't homer's. They will absolutely shred their teams if deserving.

At least that aspect of things is entertaining and it holds the powers that be accountable.

 

[Bill Lee]

Agreed here. Sucks when the Jets aren't good, but the NY media most definitely aren't homer's. They will absolutely shred their teams if deserving.

At least that aspect of things is entertaining and it holds the powers that be accountable.

Some serious Jet Fan on Jet Fan Violence: Joe Benigno and Evan Roberts