Gronk erotica (!?)

[Tunescribe]

http://nesn.com/2015/01/erotic-fiction-novel-about-rob-gronkowski-surfaces-is-obviously-hilarious/

 

[pwes]

I kinda want to read this. I need a good laugh.

 

[Haley]

When Leigh wanders into the room where her husband and his friends are watching a football game, her life changes forever, because at that exact moment, NFL’s one-man wrecking ball, Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots, scores a touchdown and does his patented ‘Gronk Spike’ — is notorious monster smashing of a football. When the ball shoots into the stratosphere, Leigh’s heart goes a pitter-patter and she becomes seriously turned on

What Leigh fails to realize is the same thing happened to her husband and his friends.

 

[deters]

Frothing loins are frothy

 

[ctpatsfan77]

The scary thing is that it says "Book One," implying this is a series.

 

[Galeb]

This isn't the Onion?

 

[Tunescribe]

This isn't the Onion?

No, it's real.

 

[PP2]

No, it's real.

As real as the passion that could not be spiked!

 

[Tunescribe]

Here's a review from Amazon.com:

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Iliad of Our Time, January 4, 2015

This review is from: A Gronking to Remember: Book One in the Rob Gronkowski Erotica Series (Kindle Edition)
The western canon is scattered with watershed works of literature penned by American authors...add A Gronking to Remember to that list. With this book - nay, this work of art - Lacey Noonan has truly catapulted herself, however knowingly, into the pantheons of greatest American authors (F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, etc.), greatest female American authors (Willa Cather, Toni Morrison, etc.), and greatest humans (Jesus, Julius Caesar, etc.) to have ever set foot on this great Earth we call home.

Lacey Noonan has an uncanny ability to elevate simple words and images to unforeseen heights through basic literary device. Consider this excerpt, which felt truly like Lacey was confronting Shakespeare head on, staring him down, shaking her flabby arm and saying "Hey Billy, look what I can do!" : "On the TV I watched the large man spazz out with joy. He was surrounded by his teammates, mere munchkins by comparison. They surrounded him like supplicants around a holy mountain, but he scattered them away." Never again, dare I say, will we see such brazen and undeniably successful magic make its way onto an ebook page.

Years hence, as the human race crumbles and mere shreds of our cultural fabric remain for other beings to discover, I would feel confident in saying that A Gronking to Remember would do satisfactory justice to the artistic heights achieved during our collective time here. This should be required reading for men and women of all ages. I joyfully look forward to the day when this is printed in every language so that it can be enjoyed by all nations as a universal testament of our shared human experience. If such a galvanizing force has ever existed or will ever exist, we have discovered it in the graceful words of Lacey Noonan. A sincere thank you to The Dishes Are Done, Man publishers to taking a chance on an unknown author and allowing her to channel whichever god speaks through her. We have been blessed beyond belief.

 

[PatriotSeven]

When you find your wife reading this, you should be totally thrilled, not just because it's Gronk, duh!, but this is where you as a man, buy her the entire Patriot seasons DVD featuring Gronk, and you whip out your porn collection, and start being "free" all over the house.

 

[patchick]

Ah, this is what the world of independent publishing is all about! (Note that this "book" is 64 pages long. And that the author's past works include "I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her.")

Honestly, it's a hilarious idea and I'll bet some of us are already thinking of over-exuberant Gronk fans for whom it would make the perfect gag gift. My favorite Amazon review excerpt:

When you are a connoisseur of Patriots tight-end themed erotica like I am, it has been a long, dry period these past few years. Of course, the pinnacle of the genre--2011's "A Tale of Two Tight Ends" is unlikely to have a sequel written (unless it's prison-based...idea!)

http://www.amazon.com/Gronking-Reme...VPY_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420461124&sr=1-3

Oh no...dear lord...I just realized that the Lacy Noonan canon is now part of my Amazon browsing history, and I'm going to start get recommendations based off her books....

 

[Tunescribe]

When you find your wife reading this, you should be totally thrilled, not just because it's Gronk, duh!, but this is where you as a man, buy her the entire Patriot seasons DVD featuring Gronk, and you whip out your porn collection, and start being "free" all over the house.

You almost lost me at " ... whip out your ... "

 

[PatriotSeven]

You almost lost me at " ... whip out your ... "

Hey what kind of fan do you take me for, a Raven? We're classy over here

If I was a Raven fan I would say this is where you whip out the bottle of bleach and try to pour it down her throat....that ought to fix that issue. Just ask Suggs.

 

[ctpatsfan77]

Ah, this is what the world of independent publishing is all about! (Note that this "book" is 64 pages long. And that the author's past works include "I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her.")

Honestly, it's a hilarious idea and I'll bet some of us are already thinking of over-exuberant Gronk fans for whom it would make the perfect gag gift. My favorite Amazon review excerpt:


http://www.amazon.com/Gronking-Reme...VPY_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420461124&sr=1-3

Oh no...dear lord...I just realized that the Lacy Noonan canon is now part of my Amazon browsing history, and I'm going to start get recommendations based off her books....

Thankfully you can delete books from your browsing history.

 

[Galeb]

If this makes it to the Best Seller list, I'm volunteering for that one-way trip to Mars.

 

[shmessy]

Here's a review from Amazon.com:

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Iliad of Our Time, January 4, 2015

This review is from: A Gronking to Remember: Book One in the Rob Gronkowski Erotica Series (Kindle Edition)
The western canon is scattered with watershed works of literature penned by American authors...add A Gronking to Remember to that list. With this book - nay, this work of art - Lacey Noonan has truly catapulted herself, however knowingly, into the pantheons of greatest American authors (F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, etc.), greatest female American authors (Willa Cather, Toni Morrison, etc.), and greatest humans (Jesus, Julius Caesar, etc.) to have ever set foot on this great Earth we call home.

Lacey Noonan has an uncanny ability to elevate simple words and images to unforeseen heights through basic literary device. Consider this excerpt, which felt truly like Lacey was confronting Shakespeare head on, staring him down, shaking her flabby arm and saying "Hey Billy, look what I can do!" : "On the TV I watched the large man spazz out with joy. He was surrounded by his teammates, mere munchkins by comparison. They surrounded him like supplicants around a holy mountain, but he scattered them away." Never again, dare I say, will we see such brazen and undeniably successful magic make its way onto an ebook page.

Years hence, as the human race crumbles and mere shreds of our cultural fabric remain for other beings to discover, I would feel confident in saying that A Gronking to Remember would do satisfactory justice to the artistic heights achieved during our collective time here. This should be required reading for men and women of all ages. I joyfully look forward to the day when this is printed in every language so that it can be enjoyed by all nations as a universal testament of our shared human experience. If such a galvanizing force has ever existed or will ever exist, we have discovered it in the graceful words of Lacey Noonan. A sincere thank you to The Dishes Are Done, Man publishers to taking a chance on an unknown author and allowing her to channel whichever god speaks through her. We have been blessed beyond belief.

Would this be too large to be made into my new sig?

 

[PatsWickedPissah]

A hearty welcome to all you GBT fans to Patsfans!

 

[shmessy]

Lacey Noonan is my favorite author (aside from Vonnegut and Faulkner, of course).
My favorite has always been:


Eat Fresh: Flo, Jan & Wendy and the Five Dollar Footlong



http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Fresh-Foo...3-4172240?ie=UTF8&refRID=14PJ9BDY0DJPPWTD31Q0

 

[shmessy]

A hearty welcome to all you GBT fans to Patsfans!

Hey, hey, hey! That's LGBT to you, Mister!!!!!!

 

[dales804]

Yikes.