You'd think the trans person would consider that a compliment since he/she wants to identify as female. People need to get over themselves. "Ma'am" is a sign of respect, nothing derogatory about it by definition.
ma'am
?mam
after "yes" often ?m
:
MADAM
—used without a name as a form of respectful or polite address to a woman
Thank you, ma'am.
"Yes, ma'am. Come in, ma'am. I'll tell Miss Lavendar you're here, ma'am. She's upstairs, ma'am."—Lucy Maud Montgomery
"My dear ma'am," said the parson, replying in preference to the lady …—Edward Bulwer-Lytton
She looked down at him and said, "He most certainly is a large dog." "Yes ma'am," I told her. "He has a large heart, too."—Kate DiCamillo