I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[ralmat55]

Exactly, look at it as love therapy. Kenneth says his ex was the first woman he kissed at 44, so he doesn't have a lot of experience with women thus his predicament. Would be nice if every time a thought of the ex popped up, a mental film of his love therapy could short circuit the sad thoughts, maybe even bring a smile. Anyway any 51 y/o man would have his self esteem increased after making love to a beautiful woman.

That's my advice and I'm so serious about it that I'm willing to contribute to the "Let's send Kenneth to Vegas to get Laid" fund as long as Ian handles the funds. Kenneth is in a funk, he's so sad he's making me feel depressed and he mentioned something about money being tight with the loss of 2nd income.

If anyone else feels the same way, and Kenneth agrees, I'll put down $250 towards the fund right now and double it once the fund reaches $5,000.

If I'm coming across as insensitive I apologize but I truly believe Kenneth needs an experience with another woman to help him move on.

I'm speechless. But, I'm sorry to be making you depressed.

 

[Hercules Rockefeller]

On a side note: I would like to thank @PatsBoy12 and you for this thread. It has benefitted me in a small but significant way. So thanks for that. Sincerely.

This, this this. PB12 is a hero and I've told him so. This thread has done a lot of good for a number of us, I think. Just your normal thread on a football forum, people talking about mental health and personal devastation, lifting each other up with good vibes. I check this thread every day. It is one of the only things I do every day.

 

[Hercules Rockefeller]

I'm speechless. But, I'm sorry to be making you depressed.

Don't focus on that part B, I don't think he meant it literally.

Point is, we care about you. People care about you. Some haven't been good to you, but that's their loss for taking advantage of you and not treating you fairly, and those people are outliers. The world is filed with generally good people, and we will always win in the end.

 

[venecol]

Don't focus on that part B, I don't think he meant it literally.

Point is, we care about you. People care about you. Some haven't been good to you, but that's their loss for taking advantage of you and not treating you fairly, and those people are outliers. The world is filed with generally good people, and we will always win in the end.

Thank you.

 

[ralmat55]

Having a rough stretch brought on by ashes and emails with the ex about them. Going to keep myself busy and hope the sadness lifts. Thank you all for listening and for caring.


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[Kontradiction]

Exactly, look at it as love therapy. Kenneth says his ex was the first woman he kissed at 44, so he doesn't have a lot of experience with women thus his predicament. Would be nice if every time a thought of the ex popped up, a mental film of his love therapy could short circuit the sad thoughts, maybe even bring a smile. Anyway any 51 y/o man would have his self esteem increased after making love to a beautiful woman.

That's my advice and I'm so serious about it that I'm willing to contribute to the "Let's send Kenneth to Vegas to get Laid" fund as long as Ian handles the funds. Kenneth is in a funk, he's so sad he's making me feel depressed and he mentioned something about money being tight with the loss of 2nd income.

If anyone else feels the same way, and Kenneth agrees, I'll put down $250 towards the fund right now and double it once the fund reaches $5,000.

If I'm coming across as insensitive I apologize but I truly believe Kenneth needs an experience with another woman to help him move on.

Agreed. I told him to be careful getting back out there earlier but that's because my advice was geared to normal women. A visit to the Bunny Ranch and a pro would be something that Kenneth wouldn't need to take so much caution on. And you're right. Lack of experience is definitely playing a role in this. I've been where Kenneth is before but, for one, I'm younger and was better able to bounce back from it and, for another, I wasn't married with a home, a family, etc. I hope @PatsBoy12 is doing well but Kenneth's situation resonates with me more because I can better relate to it than what PB12 is going through. Kenneth, if I were you, I would seriously think about limiting communication with her starting today. She abandoned the life you two had together. She shouldn't get the right to know about what happened to Moses and what your plans are for his ashes, etc. Feel better, bud. We're all behind you.

 

[anditsgood]

Having a rough stretch brought on by ashes and emails with the ex about them. Going to keep myself busy and hope the sadness lifts. Thank you all for listening and for caring.


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Kenneth

Detach from the Ex, its the best thing you can do

 

[mosslost]

Having a rough stretch brought on by ashes and emails with the ex about them. Going to keep myself busy and hope the sadness lifts. Thank you all for listening and for caring.


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Kenneth,

I have been coming to this site just about every day for many years but post very infrequently. I don't know you, but since I read this thread every single day I am going to make a comment. You should immediately cease all contact from your side with your ex. And you should permanently ignore any contact initiated by her. And you need to love yourself and think only positive thoughts as much as possible. Any negative thoughts should be beaten back by your own love and kindness toward yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat another suffering person, be very kind to yourself.

You only give her undeserved power over you by staying in touch. You need to discontinue emails with her, delete her from Face Book, do whatever you need to do to accomplish complete lack of contact. I am NOT saying it will be easy to do but I am saying that from my vantage point it is 100% necessary for you to do so.

 

[neuronet]

Visiting the thread hoping everyone is doing OK today, but if not I'd like to hear that too....Especially the OP, how are you doing?

Regarding the advice to see prostitutes to get over an ex....I do not recommend following it. It actually seems like horrible advice. I thought it was a joke, but now I'm not sure, so I wanted to just go on record with that.

It takes a certain type of callousness to pull that off, and not feel intense shame/regret/self-loathing. Especially if you are a non-drinker.

This is a callousness which our friend Kenneth doesn't project. Indeed, he projects the opposite. I see that as one of his strengths. And probably the last thing he needs is an almost surefire trigger for more shame/regret/self-loathing.

Once you go down that road, you never can take it back.

Not saying this is true for everyone, but it is not a decision to be made lightly. Then there's the whole "You could be contributing to an abusive/exploitative situation" angle too, which is nonnegligible.

There are other ways to get over an ex. The best is simply time to let water flow under the bridge , jumping into life to let new experiences and relationships build up. Eventually the contrast between the new and the ex will put in stark relief how lucky you are that she is now an ex!

 

[Ring 6]

I agree with the comments that you should not be communicating with her. It will only make the hurt linger and only lead to more disappointment as she continues to prove who she is.


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[Nikolai]

I wish I could rate some of the posts above as "wholeheartedy agree". Do not talk to her. Ignore her. Delete her on Facebook/Instagram/MyTwit/etc, block her email, and, if you need to take this far, change your phone number and make sure she never finds it out.

She doesn't deserve you, dude. Fact.

This should go without saying, but I have to say it. Never take her back. Ever. I don't care what she promises. DO NOT DO IT. If you need more reasoning, I will PM you.

I can agree that another woman can take away the sting, but then you will need another and another until time heals the wounds more or less. I'm not sure it's the best path for you at this point, but I could be wrong.

Time heals, not magically, but because you're going to come to some powerful realizations; you're going to see your strength recover, your self-image improve. And those things are going to change the way you see the situation you're in.

 

[nickw308810]

Kenneth -

I know this has been said to you before, but just remember, you don't owe her any explanation or input on the ashes at this point. You were there for moses at the end. So that is your call.

 

[Joey007]

Agree with @Nikolai above.

The best way to get over a broken relationship in today's modern day and age is to cut off the social network communication. Cut it all off. Completely. Don't leave one single source of contact with her be available for your viewing.

I had a messy breakup once and never deleted her off of my Facebook/Email etc. I kept thinking about her because it seemed like I couldn't get on anything without seeing her there. So I made the big mistake of going back to her.

Of course the second time around it ended again with the same results.

After the second time around however I made the move of blocking her out of all forms of contact. And it ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. I felt free, and the strong feelings I had for her finally would begin to erode.

The second time I was with her though was a truly awful experience. I was growing physically and mentally ill all of the time because I was afraid of having things fall apart again and had worries of her cheating on me. Just remember that the path to happiness is to not go back to something like that. Move forward and do not look back.

 

[BTTA]

And...your description of your emotional experience with Moses sounds really healthy, extremely normal. We should cry like babies when our canine family members move on. To me, the good news in that is that despite the devastation from the break up, you remain alive emotionally. Going numb is an option and you aren't taking that road. Congrats.

 

[ralmat55]

Had a productive day. My buddy came over with his tractor and we did some significant work around my home. We removed the shrubs which were around my front deck and knocked down a bunch of trees that were more in the way than anything else.

As we did the work, I could not help but think what my ex would think of the changes. This was her house before it became our home. She was so proud of it and loved the house and especially the rose bushes, trees and wildlife on it. Now, it is just my home.

I want to thank everyone who chimed in with their opinion that I should cease all contact with my ex. I agree it would be in my best interest to heal. But, there is a reason why it is so hard to do. I started to share the explanation but could not find the words. Perhaps, I can tomorrow.

As for spending some time with a "professional ", I appreciate the sentiment, but it is not for me. I went to a strip club once and spent more time wondering what had gone wrong in the dancers lives to bring them to this point than anything else. I'm just a good Christian boy. That's who I am.


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[Joey007]

Had a productive day. My buddy came over with his tractor and we did some significant work around my home. We removed the shrubs which were around my front deck and knocked down a bunch of trees that were more in the way than anything else.

As we did the work, I could not help but think what my ex would think of the changes. This was her house before it became our home. She was so proud of it and loved the house and especially the rose bushes, trees and wildlife on it. Now, it is just my home.

I want to thank everyone who chimed in with their opinion that I should cease all contact with my ex. I agree it would be in my best interest to heal. But, there is a reason why it is so hard to do. I started to share the explanation but could not find the words. Perhaps, I can tomorrow.

As for spending some time with a "professional ", I appreciate the sentiment, but it is not for me. I went to a strip club once and spent more time wondering what had gone wrong in the dancers lives to bring them to this point than anything else. I'm just a good Christian boy. That's who I am.


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The going to the club way of approaching things definitely isn't for everyone. That's good that you're sticking to who you are in that case and not forcing yourself into that situation.

 

[anditsgood]

Had a productive day. My buddy came over with his tractor and we did some significant work around my home. We removed the shrubs which were around my front deck and knocked down a bunch of trees that were more in the way than anything else.

As we did the work, I could not help but think what my ex would think of the changes. This was her house before it became our home. She was so proud of it and loved the house and especially the rose bushes, trees and wildlife on it. Now, it is just my home.

I want to thank everyone who chimed in with their opinion that I should cease all contact with my ex. I agree it would be in my best interest to heal. But, there is a reason why it is so hard to do. I started to share the explanation but could not find the words. Perhaps, I can tomorrow.

As for spending some time with a "professional ", I appreciate the sentiment, but it is not for me. I went to a strip club once and spent more time wondering what had gone wrong in the dancers lives to bring them to this point than anything else. I'm just a good Christian boy. That's who I am.


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I figured you were,

I would slowly make it your by painting, wallpapering, and closing out any evidence of what she or the two of you wanted...

Im glad you are here opening up, because i think everyone sees a bit of themselves in you

 

[ralmat55]

Heading to a friends for breakfast. They built a new home last year which I have yet to see. They are OUR friends, so I'm not sure how this is going to go. Hope everyone has a great day and we all get to celebrate a win over the Jets.


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[anditsgood]

Heading to a friends for breakfast. They built a new home last year which I have yet to see. They are OUR friends, so I'm not sure how this is going to go. Hope everyone has a great day and we all get to celebrate a win over the Jets.


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I think they are your friends, that happen to be friends with the x too


Buddy, try not to think as anything as "ours"

Have a great day, and hopefully you can catch that win over the jests

 

[PatsDeb]

Kenneth -

I know this has been said to you before, but just remember, you don't owe her any explanation or input on the ashes at this point. You were there for moses at the end. So that is your call.

Strongly agree. She does not have any say in this. There should not be any conflict over what to do - just do what you want and what feels right to YOU.