I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[ralmat55]

. I only hope that you're a strong enough man to tell her to go kick rocks when she inevitably ****s things up with that guy she ran off with and comes crawling back. And that will happen, Kenneth. I'm as sure of that as I am sure of my own name.

Both therapists and the medical doctor I've seen have warned me, that based on their experience, I need to prepare myself for her showing up on my doorstep at some point. My sister and I were just discussing what she said in her email. My sister asked me what I would do if she did show up. I told her I didn't know. My big sister said she knew what I would do and that she would have to come up and kick both our a--es if I did.

My hope is that I will be a strong enough man to show her to the curb if/when she returns. I am not today.

 

[Reckedtrek]

Both therapists and the medical doctor I've seen have warned me, that based on their experience, I need to prepare myself for her showing up on my doorstep at some point.

Sounds like it's time to consider move to a "new doorstep". While they may be right, finding the skills and mindset necessary to manage the day to day ups and downs (as well as you realistically can) seems like it would be a higher priority. No matter, I'm glad to check in and see you here and posting, Ken.

 

[BTTA]

Kenneth,
Good to hear the strength in your voice. Also that you have lots of professional and personal support right now. I like your sisters and haven't even met them.
Keep posting.
Heard from PB12?

 

[Tony2046]

Exchanged emails with her today. Our (my) 9 year old German shepherd Moses is having bowel troubles in that he can't control when he goes and it hurts him when it does. I figured if I had to worry about it so should the woman whose Smule screen name when she started her adulteress relationship was motherofmoses.

She expressed her concern, asked that I not let him suffer, and said she wanted to know how he was doing. Her last email was that "both of us will be praying for you and Moses". I was tempted to tell her that God doesn't hear the prayers of liars, wife stealers, adulteress, home wreckers and men who abandon their children. But, I decided to play nice.

She also admitted that she was having a "hard adjustment" to life in England. That she would admit that to me only hints at the chaos in her life. Oh well, she made her bed and she's going to have to sleep in it even if it's not a bed of roses.

Enough about her. Please pray for my dog and me. He is my "boy" and I love him greatly. I have lost so much. I do not want to lose him right now. And, if you are not a lying cheating whore or a worthless bastard who left 2 teenage sons and their mother to be with her, God might actually hear your prayer.

What kind of Dog food do you feed him. I switched my dog over to Blue Buffalo which is more expensive but curiously I've noticed that when he urinates on the lawn it no longer kills the grass. I've also read about other brands causing digestive issues, sometimes serious, with dogs. Beneful I think was one of them.

Your ex will develop some level of homesickness eventually and it may cause some stress on her relationship. I grew up and served in the military and have seen it many times. It's tough living in a new and different place for long periods of time.

You need to focus on you and get yourself back to being healthy. No matter what happens in the future you need to be healthy and strong so that you make the right decisions for you and not fall back into a selfish relationship that is nothing about you. I am not knocking your ex with that but she is definitely in selfish mode and her decisions are obviously all about her. Not the dogs. Not you. Not the British guy. It's about her. The British guy will find out soon enough as well. Right now you take care of you.

You're taking the right steps and in the future you will start meeting people. There are plenty of single women out there of all sizes, ages, types etc.... Join a bowling club, golf club, puzzle club ....whatever floats your boat but eventually you will start meeting people but this time you will let a person into your life when they meet your terms and she will do the same. Date for a couple of years or date for decades so that it will be a relationship built on compromises and not selfishness.

Don't worry about emailing her. There is no need to.

These are my opinions Kenneth and I am no expert but whatever you decide is up to you and I wish you the best.

Have a good night.

 

[Tony2046]

Both therapists and the medical doctor I've seen have warned me, that based on their experience, I need to prepare myself for her showing up on my doorstep at some point. My sister and I were just discussing what she said in her email. My sister asked me what I would do if she did show up. I told her I didn't know. My big sister said she knew what I would do and that she would have to come up and kick both our a--es if I did.

My hope is that I will be a strong enough man to show her to the curb if/when she returns. I am not today.

Yep mine did as well. I told her sorry but you made your choice etc...

A few years later I was dating or just going out "as friends" with some really cool ladies. Fun, positive etc... mostly on a platonic basis. A lot of them are still my friends to this day.

A couple of times a group of us (all just friends) went to a crazy new wave club and had some of the best times of our lives in there. By the way we were about 15 years too old to be in that club. haha. The old people took over the dance floor. haha And yeah we weren't exactly wowing the youth with our moves. haha.

Kenneth you have a lot of good times in front of you. Why go back to something that brings you pain?

 

[Tony2046]

Kenneth,
Good to hear the strength in your voice. Also that you have lots of professional and personal support right now. I like your sisters and haven't even met them.
Keep posting.
Heard from PB12?

PB12 has been posting in the football forum.

 

[Crazy Patriot Guy]

Both therapists and the medical doctor I've seen have warned me, that based on their experience, I need to prepare myself for her showing up on my doorstep at some point. My sister and I were just discussing what she said in her email. My sister asked me what I would do if she did show up. I told her I didn't know. My big sister said she knew what I would do and that she would have to come up and kick both our a--es if I did.

My hope is that I will be a strong enough man to show her to the curb if/when she returns. I am not today.

I completely understand how you would want to let her come back and everything would be back to normal. But it won't work. It won't be back to normal. I dealt with that years ago with an ex-girlfriend. We remained close and I was there for her when she needed me and I convinced myself that if I just hung in there long enough, we'd get back together. But I finally realized I was her safety net and walked away.

Don't you dare give her the opportunity to hurt you twice.

 

[ralmat55]

Good morning. As Kontra first said, love is a drug, and my contact with her yesterday has only intensified the pains of my withdrawal.

Despite that, with your help, I am beginning to see and understand the real truth of my relationship with my soon to be ex wife. I truly think that is the first step in my healing. Have a great day my friends and thank you.

 

[shmessy]

Exchanged emails with her today. Our (my) 9 year old German shepherd Moses is having bowel troubles in that he can't control when he goes and it hurts him when it does. I figured if I had to worry about it so should the woman whose Smule screen name when she started her adulteress relationship was motherofmoses.

She expressed her concern, asked that I not let him suffer, and said she wanted to know how he was doing. Her last email was that "both of us will be praying for you and Moses". I was tempted to tell her that God doesn't hear the prayers of liars, wife stealers, adulteress, home wreckers and men who abandon their children. But, I decided to play nice.

She also admitted that she was having a "hard adjustment" to life in England. That she would admit that to me only hints at the chaos in her life. Oh well, she made her bed and she's going to have to sleep in it even if it's not a bed of roses.

Enough about her. Please pray for my dog and me. He is my "boy" and I love him greatly. I have lost so much. I do not want to lose him right now. And, if you are not a lying cheating whore or a worthless bastard who left 2 teenage sons and their mother to be with her, God might actually hear your prayer.

I hope those two have bowel troubles worse than Moses'.

.

 

[PatsBoy12]

Kenneth, how are you holding up?

 

[ralmat55]

Kenneth, how are you holding up?

Hi Patsboy12,

Twelve days after I saw your courageous post about your struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts and posted my own story. I no longer want to die. But, I can not say that I'm ready to live yet either.

It's up and down. Still feel an incredible sense of sadness, loss and worry. If you had not reached out for help, I never would have and most likely my family would have buried me by now. I can never thank you enough. Same goes to everybody who reached out to help us by post, PM or email. I am sure you would agree that it has been remarkable.

Reach out to me by PM when you are ready. I want to get to know you as a friend.

 

[ralmat55]

I hope those two have bowel troubles worse than Moses'.

.

The paradox is that the more you're ruled by selfishness the more self-destructive you become. Life has some very rude awakenings in store for both of them.

Someday when she gets her green card and starts looking for a job. She is going to find that $18 a hour jobs with 7 weeks paid vacation and a pension in 13 years for someone whose education consists of less than 2 years towards a sociology degree 27 years ago do not grow on trees in England anymore than they do here. That's the job she quit here to go to England.

He's going to learn its not easy to support two households on a working man's wages until his boys are out of school.

Life, if they stay together, is going to be hard. Do they have a lottery in England?

 

[shmessy]

The paradox is that the more you're ruled by selfishness the more self-destructive you become. Life has some very rude awakenings in store for both of them.

Someday when she gets her green card and starts looking for a job. She is going to find that $18 a hour jobs with 7 weeks paid vacation and a pension in 13 years for someone whose education consists of less than 2 years towards a sociology degree 27 years ago do not grow on trees in England anymore than they do here. That's the job she quit here to go to England.

He's going to learn its not easy to support two households on a working man's wages until his boys are out of school.

Life, if they stay together, is going to be hard. Do they have a lottery in England?

Sorry I made the joke . Let's not think about them anymore!

 

[PatsBoy12]

Hi Patsboy12,

Twelve days after I saw your courageous post about your struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts and posted my own story. I no longer want to die. But, I can not say that I'm ready to live yet either.

It's up and down. Still feel an incredible sense of sadness, loss and worry. If you had not reached out for help, I never would have and most likely my family would have buried me by now. I can never thank you enough. Same goes to everybody who reached out to help us by post, PM or email. I am sure you would agree that it has been remarkable.

Reach out to me by PM when you are ready. I want to get to know you as a friend.

You will never be alone. You've got me and the rest of the gang to the rescue. I will definitely reach out to you via PM, buddy. Give me a bit . . . maybe even Thursday night because I'm off on Friday. I am thankful that in my desperation I may have helped you and so many others. Let's keep fighting. Let's keep relying on each other. I mean that. I am not going to let you go. I am not going to let anyone on this board in need go without it. You all saved me and I want to pay it forward over and over again.

 

[ralmat55]

Hey PB12, I look forward to hearing from you.
Had a great night. Went with a good friend and his girlfriend to eat some hot wings. Wings were great and the company was even better although I realized during the evening that I was older than my friend and his girlfriend combined. Oh well, age is just another statistic.

Really am making progress gaining a true perspective on the life I shared with my wife. Love is blind and as I look back I'm seeing it was not the "heaven". I thought it was.

Will explain more when I am not so tired. U.s Old men need our sleep.. Good night my friends.

 

[Reckedtrek]

Wow, Ken and PB12! What a difference a few days make! Challenges may lie ahead, but it sounds like you are both in it to win it! One day at a time, but it gets easier as time goes by. Better days ARE ahead.

Let buffalo wings cure all!

 

[neuronet]

Great to see both of you still posting. Keep it up.

and I love your sister Kenneth, she sounds like a great one, she's got your back.

Frankly your ***** of an ex doesn't deserve any updates on the dog. She left the dog too, you know. Why put yourself through that? Maybe let her know if you had to put him down, but that's it. She hasn't earned the courtesy, and I'm worried it's just an excuse you have to get back into her life because you know she will respond about Moses.

Anyway, I'm just spitballing here, thinking out loud like I would with any buddy over a beer, take it with a grain of salt.

Great to see you sounding strong, keep leaning on us whenever you need to: both of you!

 

[Tony2046]

That's a cool night Kenneth. Glad to hear it.

Colts week is upon us. It has been one of the games I have been waiting for all year.

Reading through a few of the colt forums will give you a sense of their despair. They Know a beat down is coming and there is nothing they can do about it. Karma debt collectors are on the way.

Anyways enjoy the day bud.

 

[ralmat55]

Doing well this morning. No indigestion for the plate of wings I devoured last evening.

I think things are coming together. Thank you all.

 

[maryk]

Ken and PB12. I cried this morning catching up on this thread. You are both incredible people, from how you are dealing with struggles to how you are reaching out to help others. You both have been in my thoughts and prayers since the very beginning of this thread. Thank you for posting.