Link to the Al Jazeera Report: The Dark Side. (Peyton Manning)

[RobertWeathers]

About two years ago, my wife took a big promotion. She'd be making nearly triple what I made, so we made the decision that it made far more sense for me to leave my job, drop our youngest down to part-time daycare, and have me take care of everything at home.

My typical day goes like this: wake up first, feed two kids and a wife, make sure everyone has what they need for their day, take the kids to school, clean the house, do all the laundry, do all the dishes, run all the errands, do all the shopping, make all the calls, mow/plow/shovel, pick up the kids, help kids with homework, take kids to sports practices, coach soccer, make dinner, get the kids showered, read with one of them (wife takes the other), sleep, repeat. This is all while writing on the side and remaining sexy.

According to you, I didn't actually do anything to contribute to the stuff we have so, if I ever got divorced, I should walk with literally nothing, probably naked. Like I said, interesting take. Dumb, but interesting.

After 20 years of marriage and three children, my wife thinks its easy for me to stay sexy. . I am here to tell you it is hard work.

I'll jump to the conclusion that the poster isn't married or has a spouse that has given up their career (which my wife did) to ensure their children and spouse are in the best possible position for success and the family's happiness.

 

[Deus Irae]

Saw this, thought a quick break would be in order:

Spoiler

 

[upstater1]

"HGH you work so good."

 

[Ring 6]

In regards to splitting financial assets, I would say yes. The wife is taking the kids pretty much no matter what, so the man is usually behind the 8 ball from the start. Why should they also be entitled to half of the financial assets if they didn't contribute to acquire them? JMO.

Are you 6 years old?

 

[Galeb]

About two years ago, my wife took a big promotion. She'd be making nearly triple what I made, so we made the decision that it made far more sense for me to leave my job, drop our youngest down to part-time daycare, and have me take care of everything at home.

My typical day goes like this: wake up first, feed two kids and a wife, make sure everyone has what they need for their day, take the kids to school, clean the house, do all the laundry, do all the dishes, run all the errands, do all the shopping, make all the calls, mow/plow/shovel, pick up the kids, help kids with homework, take kids to sports practices, coach soccer, make dinner, get the kids showered, read with one of them (wife takes the other), sleep, repeat. This is all while writing on the side and remaining sexy.

According to you, I didn't actually do anything to contribute to the stuff we have so, if I ever got divorced, I should walk with literally nothing, probably naked. Like I said, interesting take. Dumb, but interesting.

If you ever got divorced, you'd get a fraction of what she'd get if the roles were reversed, and she'd still almost certainly get the kids in both scenarios. The courts are getting better at this, but there is still a long way to go.

 

[BTTA]

If you ever got divorced, you'd get a fraction of what she'd get if the roles were reversed, and she'd still almost certainly get the kids in both scenarios. The courts are getting better at this, but there is still a long way to go.

I don't think that's true in most states at this point.

 

[BTTA]

Saw this, thought a quick break would be in order:

Deus, that's hilarious and indeed well timed, but did you know that there's no way to stop the video loop without refreshing the page? At least for me...

 

[Galeb]

I don't think that's true in most states at this point.

Well, in MA and RI it is certainly still true for everyone who I know that's gone through it in recent years. You shoulda seen the stuff that had to happen for my cousin to get his kids from a junkie ex wife. Just this year, my buddies wife who was the bread winner got the kids and the alimony he received was a joke compared to what every female, non bread-winner, that I know who's gone through it. Unless the nearly dozen examples I know of from the last couple of years are all anomalies, the courts still have a long way to go on this issue.

I get why the courts favored the women in these cases for many years, but the changes have lagged way behind the massive advances in societal equality. If these laws ever become relatively equal, I may actually consider marriage some day.

 

[Ring 6]

If you ever got divorced, you'd get a fraction of what she'd get if the roles were reversed, and she'd still almost certainly get the kids in both scenarios. The courts are getting better at this, but there is still a long way to go.

Child support is based upon custodial arrangement and math. Gender has nothing to do with it.
It is very rare today for a judge to 'award' custody, and it is commonplace to share custody, including equally, with the higher earning party paying support to the lower earning one.

 

[Fixit]

If you ever got divorced, you'd get a fraction of what she'd get if the roles were reversed, and she'd still almost certainly get the kids in both scenarios. The courts are getting better at this, but there is still a long way to go.

That may or may not be the case, but that wasn't the issue here. The issue was the contention that only financial contributions to a family actually count, and the non-breadwinner is a "mooch."

 

[Galeb]

Child support is based upon custodial arrangement and math. Gender has nothing to do with it.
It is very rare today for a judge to 'award' custody, and it is commonplace to share custody, including equally, with the higher earning party paying support to the lower earning one.

Any reliable sources? I'd love to be wrong in this, but every divorce of people close to me in recent years shows otherwise, and most of the links in a google search of "alimony and custody equality" talk about how the men's rights are "improving" but are still not equal.

 

[Deus Irae]

Deus, that's hilarious and indeed well timed, but did you know that there's no way to stop the video loop without refreshing the page? At least for me...

Sorry....

That's an Ian thing. He's got Vine/Twitter embeds going on.

I just used the spoiler tags on it. Please let me know if that worked to fix the problem for you.

 

[Wordsmyth]

About two years ago, my wife took a big promotion. She'd be making nearly triple what I made, so we made the decision that it made far more sense for me to leave my job, drop our youngest down to part-time daycare, and have me take care of everything at home.

My typical day goes like this: wake up first, feed two kids and a wife, make sure everyone has what they need for their day, take the kids to school, clean the house, do all the laundry, do all the dishes, run all the errands, do all the shopping, make all the calls, mow/plow/shovel, pick up the kids, help kids with homework, take kids to sports practices, coach soccer, make dinner, get the kids showered, read with one of them (wife takes the other), sleep, repeat. This is all while writing on the side and remaining sexy.

According to you, I didn't actually do anything to contribute to the stuff we have so, if I ever got divorced, I should walk with literally nothing, probably naked. Like I said, interesting take. Dumb, but interesting.

Sir, you are a trooper.

 

[Patsrock]

Any reliable sources? I'd love to be wrong in this, but every divorce of people close to me in recent years shows otherwise, and most of the links in a google search of "alimony and custody equality" talk about how the men's rights are "improving" but are still not equal.

Then your friends got screwed and had the wrong judge/bad lawyers. I got divorced but mine was easy and had no kids. But have many friends who went through with kids and property and judge didn't once award custody/child supporter alimony in any of the cases. Like was said they did the custodial arrangements and then math.

 

[Fixit]

Sir, you are a trooper.

Trust me, it's not all bad. I get tons of quiet and some days are very chill. Others are insane. Today, for example, I'm bouncing back and forth between cleaning and playing Xbox with my oldest.

 

[Zeus]

Deus, that's hilarious and indeed well timed, but did you know that there's no way to stop the video loop without refreshing the page? At least for me...

I click on it again and it stopped.

 

[Galeb]

Then your friends got screwed and had the wrong judge/bad lawyers. I got divorced but mine was easy and had no kids. But have many friends who went through with kids and property and judge didn't once award custody/child supporter alimony in any of the cases. Like was said they did the custodial arrangements and then math.

Did you ex fight hard in court? The one recent case I know of that was equitable was with both sides being fair. Is there a divorce lawyer who could answer this?

 

[Ring 6]

Any reliable sources? I'd love to be wrong in this, but every divorce of people close to me in recent years shows otherwise, and most of the links in a google search of "alimony and custody equality" talk about how the men's rights are "improving" but are still not equal.

Personal experience, and the fact that in the state I live in, what I stated is exactly how child support is calculated, and every agreement must include that and state that it is the assumed correct amount, even if the parties decide otherwise. The judge is required to follow it, with only adjustment allowed for very narrow factors (such as if the kids spend 50% of the time at each house, you would only pay 50% of the amount). It is law that the court must strive to make the child's standard of living equal to what it would be if the marriage continued.
Also, a large portion of divorces these days go through mediators so they are negotiated, not determined by judges.
I don't put a lot of faith in perceptions such as the articles you cite. Not that they are necessarily wrong, but they are opinion and hard to call fact.

 

[Ring 6]

Then your friends got screwed and had the wrong judge/bad lawyers. I got divorced but mine was easy and had no kids. But have many friends who went through with kids and property and judge didn't once award custody/child supporter alimony in any of the cases. Like was said they did the custodial arrangements and then math.

If physical custody is 50/50, the person making the lesser income is deemed to be the legal custodial parent. In more cases this would seem like the mother got custody and the father got stuck with support, but that's not really as it sounds.

 

[Galeb]

Personal experience, and the fact that in the state I live in, what I stated is exactly how child support is calculated, and every agreement must include that and state that it is the assumed correct amount, even if the parties decide otherwise. The judge is required to follow it, with only adjustment allowed for very narrow factors (such as if the kids spend 50% of the time at each house, you would only pay 50% of the amount). It is law that the court must strive to make the child's standard of living equal to what it would be if the marriage continued.
Also, a large portion of divorces these days go through mediators so they are negotiated, not determined by judges.
I don't put a lot of faith in perceptions such as the articles you cite. Not that they are necessarily wrong, but they are opinion and hard to call fact.

I don't know of any "good sources" about divorce custody and alimony equity, and didn't see anything in the first couple of google pages that was particularly convincing. Was yours in MA or RI? If there is a divorce lawyer in MA on these boards, I'd love to hear their opinion.