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Tom Brady abandons the Patriot way and shows utter disregard for his sport. (MOD EDIT: Satire)


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HailHydra

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I think I'm just about ready to burn my Tom Brady jersey.

Tom Brady is on the Colbert show chugging beers...

There are numerous things wrong with that - and I'll start from Number One.

1. Brady's behavior tonight is only Manziel-esque. Read this article and tell me if there's any difference between the infamous party goer menace named Johnny Manziel and the man who tonight is acting like a wild goat.
Johnny on the rocks: Alcoholic knows Manziel’s troubles

2. The rupturing of the TB12 diet.

When many people hear the name 'Tom Brady', they immediately think of the famous TB12 diet that has led him to playing like a man possessed at grandpa age.

Well not anymore.

Brady is drinking beer. Beer contains gluten, as stated by the Healthy Eating website: "Traditionally, beer is made from malted barley or malted wheat. Since both of these ingredients contain gluten, people with gluten intolerance will likely experience an adverse reaction after drinking beer. However, some types of beer contain more gluten than others."

Let's compare that to the TB12 plan (as stated by Gazelle Nutrition): "The TB12 Method suggests gluten-free diet adherence. Gluten free is the new low carb which was the new low fat which was… and so on."

There goes that.

Tom Brady, the prince of the TB12 industry has fallen off his throne after an unfortunate accident called drinking beer.

That shows extreme disregard for Alex Guerrero's well thought plan, but also disappoints young children all across the world - all of whom had a role model in Mr. Brady.

3. The Rob Gronkowski Dilemma

Gronkowski has been known to enjoy partying, go on luxurious yachts, and drink beer.

That's all false.

Rob Gronkowski is a hard working American citizen who has been spending countless hours at the TB12 fitness center. According to Lord Rapoport of the NFL Network, "he’s spent his days working out at the TB12 Sports Therapy Center at Gillette. That’s another good sign for New England."

And a good sign indeed.

The Patriots have hope for the future in Rob Gronkowski - one that they had momentarily lost as a result of Thomas Brady's rash and irrational decision making. After all, if a quarterback can't make decisions off the field, how can it (doesn't deserve a "he" anymore) decide which wide receiver to throw to, or notice that a hard worker like Rob Gronkowski is open?

So, if you are a true Patriots fan, I expect you to burn your Brady jersey and buy Gronkowski memorabilia. The Brady dynasty has come to a swift and ugly end. It is time for the Rob hierarchy to rise.
 
Last edited:
Came here to post exactly this.

Christ Stevenson was right, we didn't listen. Brady is the reason the Patriots don't have more rings. We just didn't realize it was his party boy ways.
 
Bill should have kept Jimmy since Brady had a beer :rolleyes:
Jimmy's even worse. He's even more than 1 beer right now to celebrate the offseason. Watch that decline.
 
In the future label all joke posts with the "joke" tag or else

or else
 
I think I'm just about ready to burn my Tom Brady jersey.

Tom Brady is on the Colbert show chugging beers...

There are numerous things wrong with that - and I'll start from Number One.

1. Brady's behavior tonight is only Manziel-esque. Read this article and tell me if there's any difference between the infamous party goer menace named Johnny Manziel and the man who tonight is acting like a wild goat.
Johnny on the rocks: Alcoholic knows Manziel’s troubles

2. The rupturing of the TB12 diet.

When many people hear the name 'Tom Brady', they immediately think of the famous TB12 diet that has led him to playing like a man possessed at grandpa age.

Well not anymore.

Brady is drinking beer. Beer contains gluten, as stated by the Healthy Eating website: "Traditionally, beer is made from malted barley or malted wheat. Since both of these ingredients contain gluten, people with gluten intolerance will likely experience an adverse reaction after drinking beer. However, some types of beer contain more gluten than others."

Let's compare that to the TB12 plan (as stated by Gazelle Nutrition): "The TB12 Method suggests gluten-free diet adherence. Gluten free is the new low carb which was the new low fat which was… and so on."

There goes that.

Tom Brady, the prince of the TB12 industry has fallen off his throne after an unfortunate accident called drinking beer.

That shows extreme disregard for Alex Guerrero's well thought plan, but also disappoints young children all across the world - all of whom had a role model in Mr. Brady.

3. The Rob Gronkowski Dilemma

Gronkowski has been known to enjoy partying, go on luxurious yachts, and drink beer.

That's all false.

Rob Gronkowski is a hard working American citizen who has been spending countless hours at the TB12 fitness center. According to Lord Rapoport of the NFL Network, "he’s spent his days working out at the TB12 Sports Therapy Center at Gillette. That’s another good sign for New England."

And a good sign indeed.

The Patriots have hope for the future in Rob Gronkowski - one that they had momentarily lost as a result of Thomas Brady's rash and irrational decision making. After all, if a quarterback can't make decisions off the field, how can it (doesn't deserve a "he" anymore) decide which wide receiver to throw to, or notice that a hard worker like Rob Gronkowski is open?

So, if you are a true Patriots fan, I expect you to burn your Brady jersey and buy Gronkowski memorabilia. The Brady dynasty has come to a swift and ugly end. It is time for the Rob hierarchy to rise.
Maybe it's a kickoff for the TB12 brand of gluten-free beer?
 
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