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The Onion goes after BB

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You can tell it wasn't a Cleveland Browns training event, because nowhere in the desert did the rookies polish the coach's car, babysit his kids or take up a collection for his official buffet fund.
 
Sometimes they miss the mark. This one didn't. I was crying so hard it was tough to read that last paragraph...
 
Brilliant. This should be sent to the rookies and rest of the staff.
 
I would like to see 'the beans weren't poisoned' as our 2010 slogan.
 
HILARIOUS

"or maybe he just wants us to think they're poisonous"
seriously, priceless
 
Awesome! I love the ending; BB in his cool impeccable white safari suit... too funny, thanks for finding and posting this!
I know at one point we were in a plane, because I heard a captain's announcement. When I tried to take my blindfold off I'm pretty sure Tedy Bruschi hit me across the face with a Super Bowl trophy.
LOL
 
Even funnier on the heels of the news that one of Rex rookies blew his cookies after dropping a couple of passes in a mere routine JETS rookie mini camp...
 
Yes!!!!!

I'm going read the rest for later, that's freaking great.
 
That is tooooo funny

I sent it to Darius Butler and asked him how long it took him to get back last year
 
Even funnier on the heels of the news that one of Rex rookies blew his cookies after dropping a couple of passes in a mere routine JETS rookie mini camp...


Won't be seeing Rexie's Rookies in no dayumn desert.
 
With the Friday I'm having I need that! Halarious!
 
love it!

There is actually a true story about Sir Richard Branson's mother leaving him in a field near their house to find his way home. I think he was 2 or 3 at the time.

Wish someone had taught me those survival skills.
 
I don't know if it's allowed or not but Iam taking 2 of those quote for my signature for now with the proper credit of course.

The Welker one i loved
 
I'm just glad we finally have some answers about what happened to Rich Ohrnberger. We all needed closure.
 
Reminds me of high school. During projects week in March, a group of us were taken to the Canadian border... given snow shoes, a sleeping bag, a tarp , a metal cup, 4 instant cup a soups, a knife and 12 matches. We trecked through 4 feet of snow to our individual locations and told to stay put for 4 days. It sucked...you became obsessed with keeping a fire going. On the last day, the teachers gathered each kid and together brought us to a small cabin in the middle of the woods. We walked in and there were 6 small cots in a cold, stark room. The teacher asks for volunteers to sleep outdoors because only a few could sleep inside. I didn't volunteer. Fu** no! The 8 "outdoor" volunteers then proceeded through a 2nd door...and unknown to any of us, there was a larger room with beds, stoves, food. The "stupid six", as we were renamed, were not allowed in the party zone.
For the next 4 days of hiking and camping, we volunteered for everything. "I need a guy to take off his boots and cross that partially frozen river". I'll do it. "I need a guy to climb that giant pine tree and put a flag on the top." I'll do it. We kept volunteering for these near impossible tasks. After 4 days and no rewards, we complained that we weren't being taken care of. The teacher confessed that he just wanted to see what level of stupidity we could achieve....He told us that we achieved the highest...so we got that going for us...which is nice
 
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