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Rex Ryan Guarantees Super Bowl Title for Jets' Next Season

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Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted. Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Go on, I'm listening.
Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?
[chuckles until he sees that Ted is not laughing]
Ted Nelson, Customer: [impatiently] What's your point?
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of ****. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.
Ted Nelson, Customer: [pause] Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well, that's...
Tommy, Richard Hayden: ...What?







hmmm

Awesome! lol
 
Right now Rex can say whatever he wants. His team has beaten us more than they've lost and they just laid a beat down on the Pats in their house in the playoffs.

I am grateful that I can boycott the entire 2011 Season and playoffs given Rex's prognostication. Should save me about 350 bucks to spend on booze and strippers.
 
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Right now Rex can say whatever he wants. His team has beaten us more than they've lost and they just laid a beat down on the Pats in their house in the playoffs.

I am grateful that I can boycott the entire 2011 Season and playoffs given Rex's prognostication. Should save me about 350 bucks to spend on booze and strippers.
No, not really. Rex can say whatever he wants to in relation to the Patriots. And, of course, technically speaking, he hasn't even been to a SB yet, let alone win one. In our ego-centric Patriots world club (and I'm a member), we seem to think that the team that beats us at the end of the season is the SB champ. It isn't, and neither are the Jets. The Jets are like the pre-2004 Red Sox. Wannabes who puff their chests out and say, yes, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down, and in the end, the only part that ends up being the truth is that they'll blow. Yes, the Jets will blow. And no amount of bluster will change that. This fat dink needs to shut up and say, "I think we're the best team and if I'm right we'll beat everyone and be in the SB." But, he's too much of a fraud to do that. He, undeniably, has considerable coaching talent. But I question how bright he is. And I'm much surer that his owner, Woody, knows that everything right now is OK, but sooner or later this will turn into a major sh!tshow.
 
This isn't news. The real Headline would have been, "Combine Arrives but Ryan Silent on SB Win for Jets."
 
Does this jackazz ever shut the f#ck up? You just know the Pats will be at NYJ very early in the season in 2011 - probably week 2 or 3 as they have been the last few years. It'll probably be a prime time game. If you think the media attention on this fat slob is unbearable now, just wait till the week leading up to the game the two teams play in September. Brady better be ready to f#cking play...The media loves Ryan, and all the attention they give him makes me sick
 
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