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OT: UK Pats Fan Suffering depression

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by Snooky97, Dec 18, 2017.

  1. Snooky97

    Snooky97 Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    Hi all,

    Admin feel free to delete if not appropriate.

    Some of you know me well on here and some of you don’t, I tend to be the positive person on the match day threads and the draft area.

    Onto what this is really about...

    All honesty I feel like my life is going nowhere expect downhill. No matter how hard I try it feels it’s going no where and I feel my issues and things I’ve raised haven’t been taken into account how I feel. My depression and anxiety has hit me really and I’ve just been signed off work on sick due to my mental health. I feel I am letting my family down, friends and myself. I look forward to every Sunday as that’s when my boys play and I feel happy again, sad isn’t it?

    Work life -

    I work for the government in the defence industry and I’m finding it very hard to cope with some colleagues and today I got pulled away from my team and was addressed with an unformal warning about what I was saying over Skype for Business. Basically I said I hate my team and find it really hard at times and I don’t like a team member what so ever and how she address me and how she talks to me.


    Sorry for such a negative and downhearted post. Just needed somewhere to let this all out.

    Thank you for those who have read this really do appreciate it.
     
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  2. Onedaful

    Onedaful PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Hey man we all go through ups and downs in life, right? Working at a place where you are miserable everyday is not an easy thing to deal with, it's very difficult. There isn't much that I can do for you other than lending an ear if you ever need to vent.

    I know it's not much but PM me if you ever want to chat. I wish you good luck and well wishes either way. Just remember things DO get better, it might just take some time and perspective to figure it all out.
     
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  3. dreighver

    dreighver Third String But Playing on Special Teams

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    I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this.

    As someone who has dealt with depression/general mood disruptions over the past ~4 years, it sounds to me that you have some kind of mood disorder, likely caused by neurological functioning that would best be described as "not ideal". Unless there's a clear circumstantial factor in your life that is causing you to feel this way I suspect your brain is to blame. The fact that you can't seem to clearly identify something in your life that is causing you to feel this way is telltale. You mention work issues, but I read that as being a symptom of your mood and not the cause. My apologies if I misinterpreted that part of your post.

    I don't know your genetics, your circumstances, or how your brain is functioning, but I'd suggest you look into treatment. This can range from counseling, to mindfulness/cognitive techniques, to supplementation/medication (the latter is my personal preference, as I feel it treats the crux of the issue).

    But again, I know very little about you. We're here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on but please seek some form of treatment.

    What you're describing, from the discontentedness with your life, a sense things are going "downhill", a sense of guilt that you're letting others down, and an inability to experience any (or limited) pleasure are merely symptoms of the disorder. Brain activity, to a large extent, creates your feelings and thoughts. Obviously those thoughts and feelings seem very real to you in that moment, but they can be changed/improved should your neurological functioning change.

    If you have maladaptive thoughts and coping mechanisms those should also be addressed, but given that you said you're generally a positive person this doesn't seem to be the primary cause.

    Best of luck to you in getting your health back. We're all here for you while you work through it.
     
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    Last edited: Dec 18, 2017
  4. AndyJohnson

    AndyJohnson PatsFans.com Veteran PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Try to keep in mind nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems, especially when it feels overwhelming.

    Keep what’s important in mind, your family. If it’s your job that is causing this start out tomorrow to find a new one. Many people identify themselves by their job and feel like moving on to a new one, even a better one, is failure. It’s not. Do what is best for your anf your family.

    Hope in some small way that helped but I’m glad you reached out. Hopefully you will find someone or more than one person who can relate to what you are feeling and help give you perspective. PM me if I can help in any way.
     
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  5. TB_Helmet

    TB_Helmet In the Starting Line-Up

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    Hang in there fellow Pats fan!

    Make sure you're getting plenty of exercise, and if anxiety is a factor, try yoga, meditation, or other calming practices; they work wonders (for some people, especially NFL fans, those things can be too "out there," but you can find plenty of places that take all spiritual aspects out of those practices and focus only on the tangible, physical aspects).

    Read Tom Brady's favorite book, 'The Four Agreements.' It's pretty good and he swears by it.

    Also I'm not suggesting this as a solution, but just saw it the other day and figured people might find it interesting:

    https://gizmodo.com/ketamine-relieved-suicidal-thoughts-within-hours-in-hos-1821331604
     
  6. The Scrizz

    The Scrizz 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    Hey man, really hard to hear this, in the same boat as you. Any time you need to chat drop me a PM. Holidays can be especially hard. Are you seeing anyone about this? It can be hard but finding the right professional to talk to will help you more than any of us can. Some people need meds but don't want to take them. Trust me, depression is a disease and there are meds that can help somewhat.

    Anger, anxiety, depression are things that aren't being caused by you so don't feel like you're letting anyone down. I waited too long to get help (like 20 years too long).

    My depression and associated ailments cost me my marriage and almost my job (I had a really supportive boss) and I'd hate to see it come to that for you. Get some help while you can.
     
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  7. Ian

    Ian Administrator Staff Member

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    I agree with what's been posted, and it certainly isn't a bad idea to talk to your primary care doctor either as they can make some good suggestions on guiding you to someone who can also help. I've also found the most important thing to do when you're dealing with that is to find something that interests you and give yourself a productive distraction from the things that are keeping you down. That's obviously hard because there tends to be a large part that doesn't really feel like much of anything when you're going through that.

    That being said, that's just a small part and trying to get right takes time. And like @AndyJohnson said, try and take a step back and bring things back to something more manageable instead of thinking everything collectively, which definitely can feel overwhelming. I'm also available via PM if need be, and I think you'll probably find that you'll have plenty of people on here who will be happy to provide support.
     
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  8. Jackson 2

    Jackson 2 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I'm sorry to read about your difficulties. I think most people have family members and/or friends who suffer from conditions such as or similar to yours, so you should realize that you're not alone in that regard. If you haven't already done so, please seek the help of a professional and don't be embarrassed about the need to do so. When most of us have a physical ailment, we don't think twice about seeking treatment and the same should be true when we experience nonphysical maladies. Both are illnesses and, as such, deserve appropriate medical attention. Finally, as others here have indicated, feel free to PM me if you wish. You aren't alone.
     
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  9. TB_Helmet

    TB_Helmet In the Starting Line-Up

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  10. long distance

    long distance Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    The fact that you feel you're letting your family, friends (and yourself) down is actually a positive thing. So the first step should be turning to them, talking things through as honestly as you can. They are the only ones who really know you, care about you and are there for you every day.

    After that you can take your next steps with proper support and better understanding (be it changing your life routines, quitting your job, seeking medical help or whatever the case might be).

    And by family I mean children as well (in case you have them and are grown enough). Parents are terrified to show their vulnerability to their kids which is unfortunate for both.
     
  11. TomPatriot

    TomPatriot PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Brother,

    How old are you? It’s an honest question and I’m not trying to be a wanker.
     
  12. Pats1989

    Pats1989 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    I echo the sentiments of long distance. Your loved ones ( family especially) should be the first people you turn to. They are there for you every day; the one constant. Jobs and friends ( some) come and go; family is forever.

    Obviously it's important to find the root cause ( job itself; colleagues) and go from that point on. I've dealt/deal with anxiety and depression. Ensuring the proper steps
    ( medication; counselling; whatever it may be) are utilized to deal with issues is always important.

    I don't think it's sad at all that the Patriots are a big part of your life. They are to me as well. Personally, this team is like family to me. I also think it's a great thing to come to the message board and give insight as to what your dealing with. Hopefully it will encourage others to do the same.
     
  13. Tony2046

    Tony2046 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Print these out and put them on your wall at work. Nothing like a good ole Pittsburgh choke job interception to cheer you up. :D

    Seriously though I hope you find out what's getting you down. A lot of good advice in this thread. Hope it helps.

    upload_2017-12-18_20-15-11.png

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Froob

    Froob Independent Investigator & pliable af PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Feel free to contact me as well. Keep your head up, my life has been kinda disaster last month or so in a number of areas and it's already come around quite a bit. Life comes at you fast, it can go from awful to awesome back to terrible and back to awesome again so fast. Look at our fearless leader

    [​IMG]
    He just says **** em and keeps on grinding.
     
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  15. Boogs

    Boogs In the Starting Line-Up

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    May God Bless you during this time. I said a prayer for you and your family. And that you get through this struggle you're dealing with. We all have them to some degree and at some point.

     
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  16. fnordcircle

    fnordcircle User has put you on their 'ignore' list. PatsFans.com Supporter

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    The problem with depression is that it drains you of the drive it takes to do the things that will naturally cure it. I've had 2-3 major bouts of depression in my life and they are usually evidenced by rapid weight gain. I just got through one and am getting into shape again and it comes easy now and I feel so much better I keep thinking "why didn't I just exercise my way out of depression" but I know the answer.

    The best advice I can give is to set small goals for the next day and promise yourself you will not beat yourself up if you don't meet them. If you are not currently exercising then that would be my suggestion. "Tomorrow at lunch instead of reading patsfans for 60 minutes I will take a walk around the building.". Let yourself off the hook when you don't meet the goal but Pat yourself on the back like champion of the world when you do.

    One thing to consider about your issues with your team is that your coping skills are significantly eroded by anxiety and depression so those problems are magnified. I am amazed at how many things seemed like world enders over the past year and a half of depression that now only eliccit an eye roll from me.
     
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  17. Snooky97

    Snooky97 Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    Hi all,

    Thank you for all the comments really do appreciate them all. I’ve had it since I suffered quite a serious illness that has affected my life in a long time.

    Really appreciate it all again.

    Thank you once more.
     
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  18. Snooky97

    Snooky97 Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    Hi all,

    Thank you for all the comments really do appreciate them all. I’ve had it since I suffered quite a serious illness that has affected my life in a long time.

    Really appreciate it all again.

    Thank you once more.
     
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  19. Triumph

    Triumph Pro Bowl Player

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    Where do you live exactly?

    Not street, but town? London?
     
  20. Snooky97

    Snooky97 Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    Bath/Bristol area
     

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