DEADSPIN: Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Indianapolis Colts

[bbobbo]

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-indianapolis-colts-1728020622

starts off good and just gets better:

Your team: the Indianapolis Colts. Oh, did I say Colts? Because I meant Snitches.

 

[RunAmok]

The comments from Colts fans are a riot. I actually felt sorry for them for a minute or two.

 

[BradyFTW!]

Oh man, going to read it now. I hope the write-ins contain something even half as good as what Kyle from Denver had to say about the Broncos:

The whole town is officially sick of Manning’s ****. This guy threw a scoreboard operator under the bus for the audacity of trying to make a football game fun. He refuses to take plays off during a blowout despite being made of particle board. The man choreographed a prank ON HIMSELF for crissakes. **** this guy and **** me for thinking his humble perfectionist shtick was charming.

Peyton, for his part, has made it clear he will keep playing until vertebrae shoot out of his nostrils. I can’t wait to watch this record chasing dullard audible out of every called run for the next three years.

Our fans still talk about Tim Tebow like he’s the one that got away.​

 

[Uncle Rico]

Awesome as always. This was funny from a Colts fan:

2. We’ve been calling the almost-yearly AFC championship game against the Patriots a “rivalry” game, which is very generous given our record against them every time in it.

Um, "our almost yearly AFC Championship game"? Maybe for the Patriots, but not you guys. THese guys can't even be self effacing without being disingenuous.

 

[IcyPatriot]

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-indianapolis-colts-1728020622

starts off good and just gets better:

That was amusing ... thanks for the link.

 

[BradyFTW!]

What has always sucked: Thanks to the Colts, Pacers, Notre Dame, and IU, this state leads the country in “we do it differently here; we do it the rightway” sports sanctimony. This is probably why the Colts ended up complaining about those deflated balls to begin with. Sure, they got a hole charred in their asses against New England, but they lost WITH HONOR. Living in Indiana means being a ****bag and holding your head high about it.

Indiana is a perpetual small-time dump where you go to lord your values over other people because you have nothing better to do with yourself. It is the most direct route from Chicago to the Deep South. There are parts of Southern Indiana that are more Kentucky than Kentucky is. There are Jesus billboards EVERYWHERE. As a city, Indianapolis consists of 10 nice blocks surrounded by an ocean of ****. It’s the city IU grads go to when they didn’t get good enough grades to land a job in Chicago. The best town in Indiana is Pawnee, which does not actually exist.

Man, schadenfreude out of control.

 

[ViperGTS]

Best parts were about the annual playoff Brady F-party in January Colts fans have to partake in. Or the one who said they will go 5-0 and then Brady and the gang will come to town and raw-dog them again.

Classic and very true indeed.

 

[JarOfMayo51]

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-indianapolis-colts-1728020622

starts off good and just gets better:

omfg that article was hilarious

 

[TB_Helmet]

Drew Magary at Deadspin is doing one of these for every team. The Patriots will be last. I'm looking forward to it. We'll definitely get skewered, but he'll have to grudgingly admit that we won the Superbowl and how mad that makes him.

 

[Wrath Mania]

Drew Magary at Deadspin is doing one of these for every team. The Patriots will be last. I'm looking forward to it. We'll definitely get skewered, but he'll have to grudgingly admit that we won the Superbowl and how mad that makes him.

Yeah, I really like Margary because he's smarter than the average deadspin/gawker hack; even though he'll roast the Patriots, he always implicitly acknowledges that it's all noise and they're legitimately the best. Wrote an article after the Super Bowl that pretty fiercely declared Brady as the GOAT.

 

[RecoveringCowboy]

Your stadium Sucks: Bolts hurt three Colt fans during game