Allright that's it, this is the one and only plan for our Offseason....

[fisticuffs]

Bottom line guys, this is how I see it. This is the only way I would construct this team in the Offseason, which will give you guarrenteed success!

#1 - Find the fastest player at each position - The best way to win is too have a fast team, end of story!
#2 - They have to have a tight name, ex. Terrell Owens, Chad Johson, Ladainian Tomlinson, Ray Lewis, Joey Porter, Edgrerin James and so on. I'm serious, the tighter the name, the more success they have in the league. Anybody with stupid names tend to leave the NFL real quick.
#3 They have to be dark Black - White guys are okay at some positions, but at RB, WR, CB positions I prefer to have guys as dark a LaDanian Tomlinson. I'm dead serious don't laugh, the darker they are, the more success they will have. Why don't you think Justin Fargas out of USC is so bad? He ran a 4.2 or 4.3 40 time right? Every thought he would be so great in the NFL. Well, he's horrible, and why is that? Because he's too light skined for his position. That's only one of many and I don't feel like listing them all, but that's a prime example. And his name is pretty weak as well. However there are some exceptions, Larry Johnson, Hines Ward, and Steve Smith. I will give them a pass because they have good names especially Larry Johnson.

With that said, If I were the Pats going into the draft these are the players I would stay away from: Ashton Youboty CB, Antonio Cromartie CB, Johnathan Joseph CB, Ko Simpson FS, Michael Huff SS...Do you get the idea. I would not draft them because their names aren't sweet at all. They will be lucky to be in the NFL after 3 years.

Guys I would love to draft: D'Brick Ferguson OT, Eric Winston OT, Winston Justice OT, DeAngelo Williams RB, LenDale White RB ( not too light skined but somewhat dark and the name is too sweet to pass up), Santonio Holmes WR, Derek Hagan WR, Chad Jackson WR, Laurence Maroney RB, Marcus McNeill OT...See where I'm going with this. All these guys will be sweet because they have great names and will sell tickets instantly. No one wants to see a guy that can't even pronounce his name. Ashton Youboty, Antonio Cromartie, Mathias Kiwanuka, Hank Baskett, and Martin Nance. I could find many more but these names are just hiddious. I would tell them, "Son, I will draft you under one condition....You change your name, please".

So there you have it. If you follow these 3 key steps, your team will have instant success! END OF STORY!

P.S. If your wondering, I'm a white guy, and I'm not racist. These are just what I prefer. As John Salley once said "When you look tight, you play tight".

 

[pats1]

Riiiiiiiiight...

 

[skri65]

 

[Scott37]

Bottom line guys, this is how I see it. This is the only way I would construct this team in the Offseason, which will give you guarrenteed success!

#1 - Find the fastest player at each position - The best way to win is too have a fast team, end of story!
#2 - They have to have a tight name, ex. Terrell Owens, Chad Johson, Ladainian Tomlinson, Ray Lewis, Joey Porter, Edgrerin James and so on. I'm serious, the tighter the name, the more success they have in the league. Anybody with stupid names tend to leave the NFL real quick.
#3 They have to be dark Black - White guys are okay at some positions, but at RB, WR, CB positions I prefer to have guys as dark a LaDanian Tomlinson. I'm dead serious don't laugh, the darker they are, the more success they will have. Why don't you think Justin Fargas out of USC is so bad? He ran a 4.2 or 4.3 40 time right? Every thought he would be so great in the NFL. Well, he's horrible, and why is that? Because he's too light skined for his position. That's only one of many and I don't feel like listing them all, but that's a prime example. And his name is pretty weak as well. However there are some exceptions, Larry Johnson, Hines Ward, and Steve Smith. I will give them a pass because they have good names especially Larry Johnson.

With that said, If I were the Pats going into the draft these are the players I would stay away from: Ashton Youboty CB, Antonio Cromartie CB, Johnathan Joseph CB, Ko Simpson FS, Michael Huff SS...Do you get the idea. I would not draft them because their names aren't sweet at all. They will be lucky to be in the NFL after 3 years.

Guys I would love to draft: D'Brick Ferguson OT, Eric Winston OT, Winston Justice OT, DeAngelo Williams RB, LenDale White RB ( not too light skined but somewhat dark and the name is too sweet to pass up), Santonio Holmes WR, Derek Hagan WR, Chad Jackson WR, Laurence Maroney RB, Marcus McNeill OT...See where I'm going with this. All these guys will be sweet because they have great names and will sell tickets instantly. No one wants to see a guy that can't even pronounce his name. Ashton Youboty, Antonio Cromartie, Mathias Kiwanuka, Hank Baskett, and Martin Nance. I could find many more but these names are just hiddious. I would tell them, "Son, I will draft you under one condition....You change your name, please".

So there you have it. If you follow these 3 key steps, your team will have instant success! END OF STORY!

P.S. If your wondering, I'm a white guy, and I'm not racist. These are just what I prefer. As John Salley once said "When you look tight, you play tight".

I want to congratulate you. That was quite possibly the most moronic post I have seen at this site. After the Raider, Jet, Colt and Steeler trolls that's saying something. Way to go!

 

[T-ShirtDynasty]

You and I really need to get together and hang out sometime. Obviously your Glaucoma Herbal Remedy is of much, MUCH higher quality than mine. I'll bring the ice-bong, you bring the herb. Together,we'll get this team back to winning form in no time... or die laughing trying.

 

[patchick]

I'm sorry, I cannot take seriously a name-based analysis that leaves out Sir Henry Anderson, DT, Oregon State.

 

[OhExaulted1]

Now I finally understand why they cut Shockmain Davis. If only his first name could have been "Bob".

 

[Boston Boxer]

Bottom line guys, this is how I see it. This is the only way I would construct this team in the Offseason, which will give you guarrenteed success!

#1 - Find the fastest player at each position - The best way to win is too have a fast team, end of story!
#2 - They have to have a tight name, ex. Terrell Owens, Chad Johson, Ladainian Tomlinson, Ray Lewis, Joey Porter, Edgrerin James and so on. I'm serious, the tighter the name, the more success they have in the league. Anybody with stupid names tend to leave the NFL real quick.
#3 They have to be dark Black - White guys are okay at some positions, but at RB, WR, CB positions I prefer to have guys as dark a LaDanian Tomlinson. I'm dead serious don't laugh, the darker they are, the more success they will have. Why don't you think Justin Fargas out of USC is so bad? He ran a 4.2 or 4.3 40 time right? Every thought he would be so great in the NFL. Well, he's horrible, and why is that? Because he's too light skined for his position. That's only one of many and I don't feel like listing them all, but that's a prime example. And his name is pretty weak as well. However there are some exceptions, Larry Johnson, Hines Ward, and Steve Smith. I will give them a pass because they have good names especially Larry Johnson.

With that said, If I were the Pats going into the draft these are the players I would stay away from: Ashton Youboty CB, Antonio Cromartie CB, Johnathan Joseph CB, Ko Simpson FS, Michael Huff SS...Do you get the idea. I would not draft them because their names aren't sweet at all. They will be lucky to be in the NFL after 3 years.

Guys I would love to draft: D'Brick Ferguson OT, Eric Winston OT, Winston Justice OT, DeAngelo Williams RB, LenDale White RB ( not too light skined but somewhat dark and the name is too sweet to pass up), Santonio Holmes WR, Derek Hagan WR, Chad Jackson WR, Laurence Maroney RB, Marcus McNeill OT...See where I'm going with this. All these guys will be sweet because they have great names and will sell tickets instantly. No one wants to see a guy that can't even pronounce his name. Ashton Youboty, Antonio Cromartie, Mathias Kiwanuka, Hank Baskett, and Martin Nance. I could find many more but these names are just hiddious. I would tell them, "Son, I will draft you under one condition....You change your name, please".

So there you have it. If you follow these 3 key steps, your team will have instant success! END OF STORY!

P.S. If your wondering, I'm a white guy, and I'm not racist. These are just what I prefer. As John Salley once said "When you look tight, you play tight".

while we are at it, sign Jesse Jackson as OC and Rev Al Sharpton as DC...maybe the Mayor Dude from New Orleans as Special teams coach. As that one guy said "once you go black, you never go back".

 

[BelizePats]

Table for one by the kitchen door!

 

[IcyPatriot]

You forgot to mention that you live in your mom's basement with your dog.

 

[desi-patsfan]

You actaulyl wasted time to think up and start this thread? wow.

 

[Michigan Dave]

Anyone want to give me that 30 seconds of my life back?

 

[Ring 6]

You forgot to mention that you live in your mom's basement with your dog.

While you may be right about the basement/dog thing, I think you are missing the incredible accomplishment contained in this post.

ITS NOT THE KID IN THE BASEMENT. Clearly he taught the dog to type.

 

[IcyPatriot]

While you may be right about the basement/dog thing, I think you are missing the incredible accomplishment contained in this post.

ITS NOT THE KID IN THE BASEMENT. Clearly he taught the dog to type.

lol...priceless... :eat3:

 

[letekro]

Guys, he's just saying that players with really sweet names have totally awesome skills. And girls love guys that have skills...

 

[CheerforTom]

No one wants to see a guy that can't even pronounce his name... Hank Baskett. I could find many more but these names are just hiddious. I would tell them, "Son, I will draft you under one condition....You change your name, please".

How is Baskett hard to pronounce??

 

[fisticuffs]

Ah come on, that's not nice. To tell you the truth, it's all just a joke. If I were really running a team, I would take the best player, regardless of their skin type or name. Just wanted to see how you guys would react to that kind of logic. However, when I do play Madden '06, I change the name to something tight and get players that are pitch black.