I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[mosslost]

I am doing well. Had a rough afternoon as my attorney emailed me the divorce decree signed by the judge. It was just a formality actually, but it got me emotional. Sometimes, I still feel like I'm experiencing a bad nightmare and hope to wake up soon. It's amazing how quickly life as you knew it can change.

I heard from the ex yesterday. Another request to pray for her. This time she explained why saying she didn't know anyone there, couldn't drive and.... she had withdrawn her IRAs and because she couldn't open a bank account in England without a green card she had put all the money (over $60k before taxes and penalties) in her boyfriend's bank account. Not sure why she shared that with me. I think because she feels vulnerable. She should. A fool and her money.


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First of all, unless she steals from you none of this is your problem.. that is for God Dam sure.

Secondly sounds to me like she could be possibly the victim of a fairly cunning "Grifter". Anyone watch the show "Lost"? Remember Sawyer, and the back story of how his mother was seduced and all her husbands money was stolen by the "Grifter". Sounds like she is not in a very good situation, which makes my day a little, as long as that was none of your money. (Though in a marriage it kind of would be no? at least that is how i view my 401K, a future provision for my wife and me)

She is reaping what she sowed. Ironically and sadly there is nothing illegal about being a "Grifter". It is just a horrible taking advantage of another human being.

 

[BTTA]

My ex has Dissociative identity disorder stemming from abuse she suffered at the hands of her teenage brother when she was 8 years old. The condition is more commonly known as Multiple (or split) Personality disorder.....Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Well, that explains a lot. And helps to let go of the blame and fault-placing. She was broken decades ago and remains that way. I can see why you have been so on the fence about all this, despite her recent behavior.

I'm in a helping profession and one of the absolutely firm rules (for all helping professions) is to make sure that your primary relationship is not a helping/rescuing relationship. And in fact, the person in the relationship who does the most helping/giving at work should be the recipient of any imbalance in helping/giving in the relationship.

All that to say, in your next relationship, make sure the she knows that you tend to give of yourself everywhere in your life, and need the relationship to be a place the fuels you, not empties you further.

You remain a model of courage for me, and a reminder and inspiration about not shutting down and staying alive in the face of anything.

 

[neuronet]

I'm in a helping profession ...And in fact, the person in the relationship who does the most helping/giving at work should be the recipient of any imbalance in helping/giving in the relationship.

Isn't that convenient how the psychologists have decided that psychologists should be pampered at home

 

[neuronet]

Just wanted to come and say hi to the OP and Kenneth, I know sometimes holidays can be tough. I hope you are both having a great Turkey Day, but whatever kind of day you are having, here we are feel free to come and lean in.

 

[ralmat55]

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I had 3 invites to Dinner. Who knew I was popular [emoji4]. At my sister's, I am looking forward to family, food, and football.

I am thankful for all my family at Patsfans.com. You are a blessing.


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[Wordsmyth]

Really lousy day today. All holidays pretty much are anymore. Not the same since mom's passing. Just want this work day to end so I can go home and relax.

 

[ralmat55]

Really lousy day today. All holidays pretty much are anymore. Not the same since mom's passing. Just want this work day to end so I can go home and relax.

Hang in there my friend. It is hard when you lose your parent. I know from experience. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Post or PM me if you want. You are not alone. We are here.


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[anditsgood]

Really lousy day today. All holidays pretty much are anymore. Not the same since mom's passing. Just want this work day to end so I can go home and relax.

Reach out to someone, here online, or any family/friends
Always tough losing a parent(s), lost mom 10 years ago, dad, 7

 

[supafly]

Really lousy day today. All holidays pretty much are anymore. Not the same since mom's passing. Just want this work day to end so I can go home and relax.

I hear you. Almost impossible to try and put up the tree or act like I give the slightest damn. It places a heavy burden on the wife, or so it seems. That is my biggest concern/regret.

Try and make the best of it, and feel free to throw me a PM anytime.

 

[PatsDeb]

Really lousy day today. All holidays pretty much are anymore. Not the same since mom's passing. Just want this work day to end so I can go home and relax.

Sorry about your Mom. This was my first Thanksgiving without mine and it was kind of sad, even though I had other family members around. Hope your weekend is better.

 

[Wordsmyth]

The last few days have been depressing ****. Don't really have any energy or desire to do anything except curl up in a ball and sleep. This non-stop rainfall doesn't help lighten the mood either. Thank God for Jessica Jones and Star Wars to help pass the time.

 

[PatsDeb]

The last few days have been depressing ****. Don't really have any energy or desire to do anything except curl up in a ball and sleep. This non-stop rainfall doesn't help lighten the mood either. Thank God for Jessica Jones and Star Wars to help pass the time.

The weather is a bummer. I am a Star Wars fan too, although only of the "old" ones. I am looking forward to the release of the new movie (a good thing about having kids is no one questions why you (a 51 year old woman) want to see the new Star Wars movie; you just sigh and say they kids want to go ). I still remember seeing the first Star Wars moving at the $5 per car load drive-in in Braintree with my dad and various siblings & friends (of course you packed in as many people who would fit in the station wagon to get your $5 worth). I thought it was the best movie I'd ever seen, although now when I look at it, it seems so corny. Good times, and I am glad a lot of the old actors are making appearances. Keep your chin up & maybe try to get out of the house? Some fresh air would do you some good, I think. Thinking about you.

 

[neuronet]

The last few days have been depressing ****. Don't really have any energy or desire to do anything except curl up in a ball and sleep. This non-stop rainfall doesn't help lighten the mood either. Thank God for Jessica Jones and Star Wars to help pass the time.

Just finished Jessica Jones season. Pretty good stuff. Let me know when you finish I don't wanna spoil it.

I think a lot of people have problems when Fall hits in particular, with less sunlight and such. Hang in there keep chuggin!

 

[anditsgood]

The last few days have been depressing ****. Don't really have any energy or desire to do anything except curl up in a ball and sleep. This non-stop rainfall doesn't help lighten the mood either. Thank God for Jessica Jones and Star Wars to help pass the time.

The weather definitely does not help, Holidays suck when you are going through a rough patch in life, I just try to control the emotions, and focus on the time when will be better, One thing for sure, I rather be alone than with drama

I should catch up on the star wars movies since i want to catch the new movie

Edited to add star wars line

 

[Tony2046]

Really lousy day today. All holidays pretty much are anymore. Not the same since mom's passing. Just want this work day to end so I can go home and relax.

Sorry to hear that Word. Truly am. I lost my father in 2008 and it still lingers. There is nothing like although I'm sure each case is different in its own way.

Big day tomorrow. I do enjoy your posts in the threads.

Prayers for you and your mother.

 

[n1997y]

I've found out it's tough facing holidays alone after your parents are both dead, but if you've got a spouse or offspring you should give them all your attention. It helps you not miss your parents so much, and it's important to them. If you've lost your spouse, engage as much as you can with whatever family and friends you are close to.

I'm divorced (over ten years now, so not as painful as it once was, thank goodness), both parents died years ago, only sibling (sister) lives much too far away to visit. My daughter lives nearby but had other plans so I was on my own for Thanksgiving. Sort of. I have a pretty good network of friends. Had multiple invites. Went to one with a group of good friends, really almost extended family. Hostess emailed earlier in the day asking for place settings because she had thirty-six RSVPs accepted. It wasn't family, but maybe been even better because everyone was there because they chose to spend time with friends. No political arguments, no family feuds, just more food and drink than we could all consume. Just be open to friends, as well as family, things will work out to be better if you give them the chance.

 

[supafly]

Wondering if anyone has been keeping in touch with @PatsBoy12?

He started this thread a couple of months ago, so we're all obviously hoping that some of that darkness has been lifted.

Glad to see that @Kenneth Sims is hanging in there, as well as all of the posters who may be struggling with a personal issue (or two...or three).

 

[venecol]

Wondering if anyone has been keeping in touch with @PatsBoy12?

He started this thread a couple of months ago, so we're all obviously hoping that some of that darkness has been lifted.

Glad to see that @Kenneth Sims is hanging in there, as well as all of the posters who may be struggling with a personal issue (or two...or three).

I've seen him posting on the football threads so that's a good sign. I don't recall recently seeing ken post on the football threads but I may be wrong.

 

[BTTA]

Isn't that convenient how the psychologists have decided that psychologists should be pampered at home

That's indeed pretty funny. I suspect it is also true of truck drivers and bowling alley operators.
(Just for the record, I'm not a psychologist.)

 

[ralmat55]

PB12 and I exchanged Thanksgiving greetings Wednesday night.


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