I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[Reckedtrek]

Let's lean on each other, Kenneth. Let's end the cycle. Let's stand strong. Read the responses in this thread. I beg you like many begged me to not do anything crazy. How ironic are those words coming from me? But I mean them. People on this board and in my more personal life have gotten me to see the value of holding on a little longer. I know I have a tough road ahead of me, but it's easier when you have people backing you. You, like me, are not alone. We both have an army behind us, in front of us and at our sides. STAY ALIVE! STAY STRONG! STAY COURAGEOUS! PLEASE!

Absolutely inspiring and amazing! In moments of despair, we find new strength within.

Thank you, both. Great people helping great people.

 

[PatsBoy12]

I am about to try to get some shut eye because I got very little last night and I do have t work all day tomorrow. But I wanted to say one final time tonight that I appreciate you all immensely. Please continue to be strong with and for Kenneth. As much as I need you all, I feel he needs us more at this precise moment in his life. Some have said that I gave him the strength to reach out. In my pain, I may end up helping save another human being.

I just got off the phone with another board member. And again, this person encouraged me more than he will realize (you know who you are). If we can be for Kenneth what you all have been for me, then I have to believe he will survive. This board is the best damn sports board around. You all are incredible people. Each of you can absolutely say you've saved lives. Let that sink in.

Anyway, I am marking another day off my calendar. I live because you all support me (along with my mother and my close friends and family). If you all ignore all of my other Patriots related opinions, do not ignore what I post in here. Please know that you have contributed to giving me my second wind, so to speak, and now I am more motivated to push on. Thank you thank you thank you. If I could name you all in this post, I would. I don't even want to name a few for fear that I may offend those that I don't mention or make them feel I didn't appreciate them. My army. My refuge. My friends. I hope you all have a great night. I'll check in again tomorrow to let you all know that I'm still here. Kenneth, I hope you do the same, brother.

 

[SVN]

PatsBoy Kenneth, be strong and have faith. I can offer no advice sometimes advice is easy but today is Mahatma Gandhi's birthday so I will leave this quote. Excuse if its too preachy and even I find it good to read but hard to follow but it means well

"I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]. Will he [she] gain anything by it? Will it restore him [her] to a control over his [her] own life and destiny?
Then you will find your doubts and your self melt away." - Gandhi, 1948

 

[strngplyr]

I don't have anything inspirational to say, just don't do it, to both of you, Ken and PB12. It's cliche but it's a long term solution to a short term problem.

Seek professional help, it's great and all to hear from those of us here that you'll get better, but most of us don't have mental-health degrees. Seek out those who do. Seek out your friends and family, people who know you will tell you how much they care and how much you mean.

Don't let a dark situation put a damper on a bright future.

 

[Richard Camembert]

Ken: Survivinginfidelity.com is a great website dedicated to helping people recover from this terrible type of event. It may be against the policy of this site to publish the name of the site, if so I will PM you. Also, you can't parent your beautiful children if you're dead. Hug them instead of hurting you.

Patsboy12: You're in the terrible fog of depression right now, and it sounds like it's a familiar cloud that has rolled in, so don't do anything now except call your therapist, take your medication, and talk to your loved ones as much as you can; or get to a hospital if you must. You sure don't have to go through this alone. THIS WILL PASS and you, like most who struggle daily with this, are going to be grateful that you chose life.

 

[nickw308810]

I don't pray as often as I should, but Patsboy12 and Ken I promise you I will be praying for you tonight and everyday until you overcome this. And you will overcome it!

 

[PatsBoy12]

Anyone awake?

 

[Baboon]

I am.

 

[PatsBoy12]

I am.

Can we maybe talk privately? I can't sleep anymore and I have spent the last hour just laying here with my eyes closed just hoping I would knock out again, but I just can't. And, in honesty, I'm feeling the pressure right now. It hurts a bit much.

 

[PatsBoy12]

Anyone?

 

[Baboon]

Sorry, the forum crashed for me. I can chat anytime.

Edit: I even typed up my post for you:
On May 8th of this year, my tongue swelled. It swelled so badly that I needed to go to the emergency room. I nearly choked to death on my own fricken tongue. They weren't sure why I had that attack. On May 22nd, my tongue swelled. Much worse this time. I spent two days in the hospital. I was a lucky person. Normally people die in their sleep. I was sleeping both times. I have four subsequent attacks. I have worried about my mortality every fricken lonely second for the past few months. On July 6th I was rushed to the hospital again - tongue swelled up to stupid levels. After that, nothing happened again. Two days after my bday, Sept 6th, I had another attack. I had another on Sept 25th.

I can say that my life is better during games, whether it is the red sox, pats, or now the Bruins (i love the bruins.)

 

[PatsBoy12]

Well if anyone does see this, I am up and would greatly appreciate a conversation. I know it's my issues, but this is one of my outlets now. And frankly, none of my others are available at 4:30am. If anyone reads this in the next two or so hours before I have to leave for work, I would greatly appreciate your support.

 

[mgcolby]

I've had a few beers but if you need someone to talk to I am willing. This place is a great place to deflate if you will. I have done it many times.

Send me a PM if you want to talk. I will call you.

 

[PatsBoy12]

Sorry, the forum crashed for me. I can chat anytime.

Edit: I even typed up my post for you:
On May 8th of this year, my tongue swelled. It swelled so badly that I needed to go to the emergency room. I nearly choked to death on my own fricken tongue. They weren't sure why I had that attack. On May 22nd, my tongue swelled. Much worse this time. I spent two days in the hospital. I was a lucky person. Normally people die in their sleep. I was sleeping both times. I have four subsequent attacks. I have worried about my mortality every fricken lonely second for the past few months. On July 6th I was rushed to the hospital again - tongue swelled up to stupid levels. After that, nothing happened again. Two days after my bday, Sept 6th, I had another attack. I had another on Sept 25th.

I can say that my life is better during games, whether it is the red sox, pats, or now the Bruins (i love the bruins.)

Check your PM

 

[edkk323]

I am here for you!

 

[mgcolby]

I tried to call. I hope you are talking with someone else. Life is good and at times we all lose site of what is important. My son has gone through hell with the media and has come out on the other side the same happy go lucky kid, just a bit wiser. And my wife and I are very thankfull for that. With that said I am here for a while. Let me know if you still want to talk.

 

[PatsBoy12]

I tried to call. I hope you are talking with someone else. Life is good and at times we all lose site of what is important. My son has gone through hell with the media and has come out on the other side the same happy go lucky kid, just a bit wiser. And my wife and I are very thankfull for that. With that said I am here for a while. Let me know if you still want to talk.

I am here for you!

Hi guys. I am on the line with another board member. Please give me just a few.

 

[mgcolby]

Hope it helps. My number is on your phone.

 

[catent]

PatsBoy, I think each depression/mood disorder is unique and "different", and varies from person to person. That said, I too have struggled with mood issues over the last 20'ish months and I've finally managed to begin the recovery process from this horrible illness over the past 8'ish months. It was a brutal year, but I'd consider myself almost entirely, if not entirely "cured", for lack of a better term. I'm walking, breathing, living proof that there's a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Never give up, never quit. Always hold out hope that there's a solution for you, a better, brighter future.

Feel free to shoot me a PM and I'll happily share contact details if you'd like to chat. Perhaps my experience and perspective could aid you in some way. If nothing else, I'm a voice/person to share time with.

 

[Baboon]

I spoke with the Patsboy12 this morning. He is a good man on the correct track. He is fighting hard and doing the correct thing in asking for help. We have all been through troubled times, maybe not as he has felt, but we can all understand. He will prevail in his battle.

Unrelated but still related, if any of you ever consider suicide, please walk into any emergency room in the usa. Do not worry about stigma; you are granted complete confidentiality. Don't worry about cost; if you can not pay, there are lots of organizations, including most hospitals that will pay your cost. You can never abuse this service.

If any of you choose to leave this world, you will simply transfer your pain, in multiple, to your family and friends. Please, go to an ER if you feel any harmful thoughts.