Fan Connection I Could Use Your Thoughts and Prayers

[edkk323]

Anyone awake?

Patsboy12, I hope you can see this. Just know that someone in China is thinking about you.

From my past experience with depression, we tend to victimize ourselves.
If you can see this, I do urge you to go out and do something nice to some random strangers.

first, you occupy your mind from the negative thoughts. and second, the feeling of being wanted and appreciated is priceless.

 

[dprats2]

I'm up too.

Be strong. Pm me if you need. You are not alone.

We want to hear from you. I'm so impressed with your compassion for Kenneth as you struggle through the fog. It shows you are a good person, and I hope you can see your own value to yourself, to Kenneth and to the immense fan base here rooting for you.

Pb12, you are a good person. We need people like you in our world. Be strong.

 

[PatsBoy12]

Hey guys, PB12 is still here. PB12 is still fighting. Dprats2, thank you for your words. Ed, thank you for your words. I cannot tell you enough how much you all mean to me. I cannot tell you enough how thankful I am. I cannot tell you enough how much you all are keeping me alive right now. Thank you all for giving me wonderful people to lean on and to hear my cries for help.

Kenneth needs us too! I am willing to put on my armor and go to war with and for him as well, and I'm certainly not making light of war. But when you're going through what he and I are going through, you can understand why that is the analogy I use. It very much feels like I am in a fight for my life. I'm scared. I'm hurt. I'm sad. But I promised earlier in this thread that I will continue to fight so long as I have you amazing people backing me. I am a stranger to all of you, yet you think enough of me to take the time out of your lives to be there for me. I still can't even fathom it. It's still surreal. It's still amazing. Ten pages, ladies and gentlemen . . . for me . . . for Kenneth . . . for Brady to Moss . . . for Dprats2 . . . for all who have traveled down this dark path and know what it's about. You all are my inspiration. You all are my friends. I thank you immensely from the bottom of my heart. And even though I'm still hurting . . . hell, I'm crying as I type this, I want you all to know that you have touched my life so deeply and are giving me a reason to continue to live and to fight. I'm alive today when two days ago I did not think I would be. Realize that these posts and the PMs and the phone conversations are changing me. Realize that they mean the world to me. Realize that this is my real life and you all have impacted it. And I will NEVER EVER EVER stop being thankful for that. Just know that I carry on in part because of this community.

God bless.

 

[Clonamery]

PB12, thanks for asking for help. It ain't easy to do it that first time. And by doing so, you're bringing out the best in us. Thank YOU.

 

[ralmat55]

I am about to try to get some shut eye because I got very little last night and I do have t work all day tomorrow. But I wanted to say one final time tonight that I appreciate you all immensely. Please continue to be strong with and for Kenneth. As much as I need you all, I feel he needs us more at this precise moment in his life. Some have said that I gave him the strength to reach out. In my pain, I may end up helping save another human being.

I just got off the phone with another board member. And again, this person encouraged me more than he will realize (you know who you are). If we can be for Kenneth what you all have been for me, then I have to believe he will survive. This board is the best damn sports board around. You all are incredible people. Each of you can absolutely say you've saved lives. Let that sink in.

Anyway, I am marking another day off my calendar. I live because you all support me (along with my mother and my close friends and family). If you all ignore all of my other Patriots related opinions, do not ignore what I post in here. Please know that you have contributed to giving me my second wind, so to speak, and now I am more motivated to push on. Thank you thank you thank you. If I could name you all in this post, I would. I don't even want to name a few for fear that I may offend those that I don't mention or make them feel I didn't appreciate them. My army. My refuge. My friends. I hope you all have a great night. I'll check in again tomorrow to let you all know that I'm still here. Kenneth, I hope you do the same, brother.

Good morning Patsboy12 and everyone at Patsfans.com. I actually got some sleep last night for a change. I could not say it any better about the character of the people here. We are a good little community and a blessing to my life. Gonna live one day at a time. Traveling to my sisters this afternoon to spend the rest of the weekend with her and my bro-in-law. Three nephews and a niece live in the area to so I will be surrounded by family.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I still have a long struggle ahead. Thank you for everything my friends!

 

[PatsfaninBulgaria]

Good morning Patsboy12 and everyone at Patsfans.com. I actually got some sleep last night for a change. I could not say it any better about the character of the people here. We are a good little community and a blessing to my life. Gonna live one day at a time. Traveling to my sisters this afternoon to spend the rest of the weekend with her and my bro-in-law. Three nephews and a niece live in the area to so I will be surrounded by family.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I still have a long struggle ahead. Thank you for everything my friends!

I've praying for you and for PB12 - that you will be continually reminded and confronted with the truth, with the reality that you are a person of great worth, someone who is loved and cared for, a man who has already demonstrated great capacity to care for and serve, so that there are many opportunities ahead of you where you can make a difference in someone else's life - you have value in who you are, you have purpose for each and every new day, and there are people important to you who care about you so much. I am looking forward to seeing your posts as you fight through this difficult, difficult time, and keep on going and growing in understanding who you are and what your life continues to mean for so many people.

 

[AzorianPats]

Your post is very similar to what I went through 20 years ago. The guy my ex left me for ended up being a women beater. At one point I had to go over to their apartment and tell him a few things which in hindsight it is rather funny now. He said to me " Dude if you hit me I'll sue you" and I replied "for what? The women you're living with just took everything I had". hahaha

I don't hate my ex for leaving because she was a good person but in life sometimes the puzzle pieces don't work. We married too young and when we got older we simply had too many differences.

Anyways I can guarantee you that it does get better. You'll get stronger. You'll get to the point where the good times you had will be good memories and you will understand that for whatever reason it just didn't work out.

Do something for yourself that you would enjoy. I had never gone to a strip club while I was married so after she left I thought "screw it I'm going to a strip club". Bad idea btw for various reasons.

I hope when reading this post you understand two things, 1. That I was once in a similar mind set as you and 2. I not only got out of it I was stronger for it.

Please look into getting some help. Depression is a well researched condition that many many people have had to deal with. Just as there is medication to get rid of a head ache there is medication to help you feel better.

You can DM me anytime.

My heart goes out to all you guys that had to deal with a women leaving, but I hope Kenneth can learn from Tony experience. Believe it or not, time heals all wounds. Theyll be some days better then others, but life does move on.

 

[ashley]

I hope you are feeling better. My prayers and best wishes go out to you and your family!!!!

 

[Reckedtrek]

Just checking in, and I'm really happy to see both PB12 and Ken are posting this morning.

PB12- I don't think this forum ever sleeps, so I think someone will be around, just more of us after a game!

Ken- very good and smart move, surrounding yourself with family. But when you can't be with them just hop on Patsfans!

To both of you (and all), be well!

 

[Tony2046]

One thing I recall that I would like to share was the embarrassment or shame I felt at times back then. Not sure how a women feels but for a man feeling weak sucks. But years later I realized that these type problems are relatively similar and as common as a broken leg in that initially you can't walk on it and it's painful but eventually that bone heals and is actually stronger than it was before. It happens all the time to a lot of people. There is no need to feel shame because the way it works is that the emotional credits that these people deposit into the wounded account becomes a responsibility. These people here have deposited there credits because they have either been there before, know someone who has been there or just simply out of the kindness of their hearts and understanding of how things should work. Once the overdrawn acct becomes healthy again the responsibility will be to pay it forward because there will be a time that someone else will need those "credits". It is how the world works.

This has been one of best threads. I would rank it as high if not higher than the Jets Suck thread and the Colts suck thread.

 

[n1997y]

Let's lean on each other, Kenneth. Let's end the cycle. Let's stand strong. Read the responses in this thread. I beg you like many begged me to not do anything crazy. How ironic are those words coming from me? But I mean them. People on this board and in my more personal life have gotten me to see the value of holding on a little longer. I know I have a tough road ahead of me, but it's easier when you have people backing you. You, like me, are not alone. We both have an army behind us, in front of us and at our sides. STAY ALIVE! STAY STRONG! STAY COURAGEOUS! PLEASE!

^THIS!!!!!
This is what it's about, people helping people. Do what we can for each other. Live virtuously, do the right things the right way. Ask for help when you need it, give help when you're asked, or when you see it's needed. PatsBoy asked for help, gave us a chance to help him and also Kenneth. Lots of good from making that one post, that was probably hard for him but look what happened. Keep paying it forward!

 

[BTTA]

Good morning Patsboy12 and everyone at Patsfans.com. I actually got some sleep last night for a change. I could not say it any better about the character of the people here. We are a good little community and a blessing to my life. Gonna live one day at a time. Traveling to my sisters this afternoon to spend the rest of the weekend with her and my bro-in-law. Three nephews and a niece live in the area to so I will be surrounded by family.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I still have a long struggle ahead. Thank you for everything my friends!

Ken, why don't you dial your sister and her husband into this forum? (Assuming they are up to date on your emotional status.) Are they Pats fans? If not, I bet we can recruit 'em after seeing this.

 

[Brewskies]

Been there, felt that, and have the same feelings today. Let's talk before before you go forward.

Send me a message so we can talk.

Lots of love , be safe and you are the one requesting help, I am here.

 

[SuperStang83]

I sit here with watery eyes just glad to see that PB12 and Ken are still responding and better yet responding with positive growth! Keep on keeping on because things will get better. If there is anything that I can do please do not hesitate to PM me. I will continue to pray for the both of you.

 

[PatsBoy12]

Hello everyone. I'm just doing the usual check-in so you all know I'm still around. I hope Kenneth decides to do the same. Thank you for continuing to support me and for keeping him up too! This thread, this board are incredible. I decided to make plans to watch the Gators today with a buddy of mine. That should keep helping me through the process. You all have given me sooo much courage. Thank you all so much! My Pats family!

 

[Reckedtrek]

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.”
-Henry Rollins

 

[Nikolai]

I'll just say, resist the impulse. That's all there is to it, brother. PM inbound.

 

[ralmat55]

Good evening my friends. I am currently sitting with my youngest nephew watching him play Madden 16. He has Jay Cutler playing for the Pats. Yikes!

Glad I came down, but I am still struggling. Earlier I was holding my precious 1 year old great-niece when I was suddenly overcome by sadness and started to cry.

I still feel my insides shaking, I still feel the urge to run fast and far. I still feel overwhelmed by sadness and void of any joy. But, thanks to all of your support and love, my death is no longer scheduled as it was yesterday when I first posted. One day at a time, sweet Jesus! Thank you all!

 

[RobertWeathers]

@PatsBoy12 @Kenneth Sims

Your life is precious. The world is a better place with you in it.

 

[neali]

Hi Patsfans,

This thread will probably be moved shortly (I hope it's allowed to stay for just a day at least), but it's a bit of a serious post and I need some prayers. Obviously this is a sports forum and all, but without getting into too much, I have been in an ongoing bout with depression. I have been getting counseling and everything, but the thoughts of ending it are back and they're strong. I have really enjoyed being on the board talking Patriots with all of you very much. I guess I just wanted to reach out to those of you who pray and ask that you please pray for me. I don't know where my journey will end up and I'm trying very hard to fight and stay positive, but things are rough for me at the present time in a lot of different ways. Please send some words up in prayer for me as I continue to try to make sense of some of the things that have happened and some of the present difficulties I am having.

I hate to put up such a sad thread and all, but I just needed to "verbalize" this and my usual outlets are unavailable to me at this time. I hate that I have to reach out in this fashion, but I didn't know what else to do in my present state of mind. It was the only thing I could do to keep from doing something worse. I thank you all for giving me a place of refuge to talk only Patriots, which is one of the few things in my life that I still enjoy.

Hang in there my friend. I have not read a single post, besides yours, in this thread but wanted to reply immediately. I have a sister that tried to end things a couple of times, fortunately unsuccessfully. She is in a better place a couple of years later and is grateful to be alive. Things will get better.