From various reports circulating around the internet, I've been able to piece together EXACTLY what happened between Moss and Tom the week before the big game down in Miami...
*Tom walks into the locker room and sees Randy standing by his locker. Taking a deep breath and telling himself
"you're the leader of the team, you can do this" TFB approaches the enigmatic receiver...
TFB: Randy, 'sup, boy?
Moss: Not much, man... Looking forward to a big game down at Miami, you know what I'm saying?
TFB: Yeah, about that... You know, I consider you a close personal friend right?
Moss: Yeah, man.
TFB: And that if anything was ever up, we could be open and up front about it right?
Moss: Yeah, of course.
TFB: Well, me, Wes and a few of the guys were talking... And I talked it over with my wife last night... And we all agree, that beard's gotta go before we hit Miami, bro.
Moss: *laughs* You're kidding, right?
TFB: *Looks sheepishly at Moss*
Moss: *becoming more concerned* C'mon, man, did that goofy looking Gronk put you up to this?
TFB: Randy, I'm serious... You know when we went to dinner the other week?
Moss: Yeah...
TFB: Gisele thought you were a homeless guy who slipped past security.
Moss: Are you ******* serious?
TFB: Look, it's okay... Gisele knows this Spanish guy who can give you a great shape up I've got his card right he-
Moss: *Cutting Brady off* Man, I don't want no got damn card for some ******* Spanish hair stylist. What the **** is the matter with you? I think those hairplugs must have sunk into your brain, man.
TFB: ... What did you just say?
Moss: You heard me, Tom... You look like a ******* girl. How you 'posed to lead the team when you look like a 14-year-old pop singer?
*Aaron Hernandez and Brandon Tate, who have been watching the confrontation from afar, snicker at the Bieber barb.*
TFB: Man, **** YOU, Randy. You cost us the game against the Jets last week and now you want to mouth off to me when I'm going out of my way to help you? Revis was right, you are a ******* slou-
*Randy shoves Brady and a fight ensues. The rookies look on dumbfounded just as BB runs in to break it up*
BB: Hey! Hey! Break it up! What the hell is the matter with you two?
Moss: ... It is what it is, coach.
BB: *
* Get out of here, Randy. Tom, my office, now.
*Moss shrugs the incident off and leaves the locker room. A clearly furious Brady begins pacing the locker room. Just then, an obviously stoned Rob Gronkowski waltzes in...
Gronk: Oh, hai, Tommy Gun! How's it hangin-
*Before he can even finish, Brady punches Gronk in the face, knocking the giant out cold before heading to BB's office*
TFB: *Muttering to himself* Man, how did Randy EVEN KNOW about my hair plugs? I just can't trust ANYONE in this locker room.
*Enters BB's office*
BB: Tom, I want to discuss a trade...
TFB: So do I.
BB: Oh? What did you have in mind?
TFB: *sighs* Send me to San Francisco, Bill. I think we can get a third rounder.