UNREST IN AROOSTOOK AS LOCAL FARMERS LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT T-SHIRTDYNASTY!
by B. O'Rocks
AROOSTOOK - It came as quite a shock to local potato growers when an artist's rendering of recently released hostage T-Shirtdynasty made the evening news. "If he wasn't the spittin' image of the old potato pollinator that caused my grandpappy so much trouble back in the day," said President I. Bet McGolby of the Aroostook Taters and Black Flies Farmer's Cooperative.
(
Nutters) Artist rendering of Aroostook Guru T-Shirtdynasty
"Pollinated" potato ca. 1936 (courtesy U. Main Dept. of Crimes of Passion)
Additional detachments of the Greenland Militia Peacekeepers were rushed into the region too maintain security. Colonel T. Hule Fawg, commanding officer of the Greenland peacekeeping contingent, reported a number of angry protests broke out, but violence was avoided thanks to mediation by a McDonald's Corp. purchasing representative. "Dat 'fella' told dem farmers dey kood ship dem polly-taters to No Yawk, Fillydelfa, an Washing-ten goremay hash hawses," said Colonel Fawg, "ges dem folks dat eet dem hawses ayn too 'ticular 'bout wah dey eetin'."
Potato protesters where still in evidence tonight, but Greenland officers patrolling the area reported no trouble.
(
Nutters) Aroostook Protester outside the Taters and Black Flies Farmer's Cooperative demonstrating against the Guru T-Shirtdynasty.
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