Top Ten Reasons Roger Hasn't Ruled Yet

[Zeus]

10. Forgot network password and lost the piece of paper where he had written down mother's maiden name.

9. Spending six hours per day on oral hygiene after dentist asked to floss more.

8. Homework from "Making Balloon Animals" class taking longer than expected.

7. Finally learned how to make farting noises with armpits; calling friends and family to show off.

6. Unable to sleep due to leprosy outbreak caused by armadillos in Florida. Wants NFL to become leader in "armadillo induced leprosy" space. (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/07/leprosy-explained-armadillos-florida).

5. Rewriting NFL drug policy to include possible death penalty after watching Refer Madness.

4. Donald Trump left message to call Lindsay Graham's cell phone; repeatedly getting "number no longer in service" message.

3. Binge watching Beverly Hillbillies and Hee Haw reruns.

2. Hasn't read Wells Report; thought it was about drought in Southern California.

1. Ruled out use of independent arbitrator after confusing meanings of "arbitrate" vs. "masturbate."

 

[RelocatedPatFan]

3. Binge watching Beverly Hillbillies and Hee Haw reruns.

I have it on good authority that he's watching Lawrence Welk reruns and dancing with 80 year olds at the nursing home.

 

[Pat the Pats Fan]

I can think of 8 reasons ; Jets owner, Dolphin's owner, Bill's owner, Raven's owner, Bronco's owner, Colt's owner, Steeler's owner, Bengal's owner......