Star High School Quarterback Blissfully Unaware He’ll Be Jets Starter 4 Years From Now

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Star High School Quarterback Blissfully Unaware He’ll Be Jets Starter 4 Years From Now

BEND, OR—As he excitedly slapped a teammate on the back after delivering a pinpoint 30-yard throw in practice, sources confirmed Wednesday that local star quarterback Cole Rabuck was blissfully unaware he would be the New York Jets’ starter four years from now. “He goes out there every day...

www.theonion.com

BEND, OR—As he excitedly slapped a teammate on the back after delivering a pinpoint 30-yard throw in practice, sources confirmed Wednesday that local star quarterback Cole Rabuck was blissfully unaware he would be the New York Jets’ starter four years from now. “He goes out there every day, he’s got a great arm, and he just loves the game so much,” coach Ron Sever said of the 17-year-old who will be drafted fourth overall to a 3-13 Jets team and whose fans will immediately revile him and blame him for every failure. “He’s got a great head on his shoulders and a bright future [of being drafted by the Jets and repeatedly humiliated on a national stage] ahead of him. He’s a generational talent, honestly, and if he keeps it up, he could be the next Aaron Rodgers, [Mark Sanchez, Sam Darnold,] or Peyton Manning.” At press time, Rabuck, who will reportedly express relief when he is out of the NFL by the age of 27, was telling teammates he wants to play football for the rest of his life.

 

[Froob]

 

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[Pape]

As soon as I saw the lede, knew it was the onion lol

 

[RelocatedPatFan]

As soon as I saw the lede, knew it was the onion lol

Same. But they’re probably not wrong. Though Jets have to Jetes. So anything could happen.

 

[Steve102]

 

[VectorPrime]

It’s only a matter of time before top draft picks really start trying to manage their way out of dysfunctional situations.

 

[sb1]

It’s only a matter of time before top draft picks really start trying to manage their way out of dysfunctional situations.

 

[VectorPrime]

View attachment 39116

Im aware of this but I don’t count it because it was helped manufactured by NFL royalty.

 

[Steve102]

Im aware of this but I don’t count it because it was helped manufactured by NFL royalty.

Elway did it too.

 

[reflexblue]

It’s only a matter of time before top draft picks really start trying to manage their way out of dysfunctional situations.

Trever Lawrence was planing to stay in school for an extra year until the jest screwed up won a game and lost the first overall pick. He hired a former nfl player roddy white while in school to advise him, white told to stay away from the jest. White told lawrence the jete were a completely dysfunctional organization and would ruin his career, he advised lawrence to stay in school another year if the jest got the #1 overall pick.

 

[reflexblue]

Elway did it too.

Ely Manning too.

 

[bigballas]

Trever Lawrence was planing to stay in school for an extra year until the jest screwed up won a game and lost the first overall pick. He hired a former nfl player roddy white while in school to advise him, white told to stay away from the jest. White told lawrence the jete were a completely dysfunctional organization and would ruin his career, he advised lawrence to stay in school another year if the jest got the #1 overall pick.

lol, then he went to JAX and got Urban Meyer

 

[XLIX]

QBs (or any other #1 pick) just don't seem to have much ability to get out of going to a team they don't want to go to. Yes, I know I know.... everyone always responds with Elway and Eli.... but the fact that in the past 50 years of NFL draft, they are the only 2 who managed to shoot their way out of that #1 pick's team kinda proves that it is an extremely rare occurrence.

Trever Lawrence was planing to stay in school for an extra year until the jest screwed up won a game and lost the first overall pick. He hired a former nfl player roddy white while in school to advise him, white told to stay away from the jest. White told lawrence the jete were a completely dysfunctional organization and would ruin his career, he advised lawrence to stay in school another year if the jest got the #1 overall pick.

Roddy White made a comment on some radio show advising Lawrence to stay in school if the Jets were the #1 pick, but that was nothing more than some guy giving an opinion. There isn't anything out there suggesting he was actually hired by Lawrence to provide professional advice (why would a top QB prospect hire a random has-been WR for advice along these lines??). We will never know, but I do not believe Lawrence would have followed White's advice if the Jets were the top pick. He was coming out last year no matter what.

 

[VectorPrime]

lol, then he went to JAX and got Urban Meyer

It was still worth it.

 

[reflexblue]

QBs (or any other #1 pick) just don't seem to have much ability to get out of going to a team they don't want to go to. Yes, I know I know.... everyone always responds with Elway and Eli.... but the fact that in the past 50 years of NFL draft, they are the only 2 who managed to shoot their way out of that #1 pick's team kinda proves that it is an extremely rare occurrence.

Roddy White made a comment on some radio show advising Lawrence to stay in school if the Jets were the #1 pick, but that was nothing more than some guy giving an opinion. There isn't anything out there suggesting he was actually hired by Lawrence to provide professional advice (why would a top QB a radio show.prospect hire a random has-been WR for advice along these lines??). We will never know, but I do not believe Lawrence would have followed White's advice if the Jets were the top pick. He was coming out last year no matter what.

I read and article about this time last year that said lawrance was in contact with white (why white i have no idea) about entering the draft and what to expect, it was much more than ;roddy white said on a radio show'. i posted it on the jest suck thread, i'n not going back and look for it.

 

[XLIX]

I read and article about this time last year that said lawrance was in contact with white (why white i have no idea) about entering the draft and what to expect, it was much more than ;roddy white said on a radio show'. i posted it on the jest suck thread, i'n not going back and look for it.

Fortunately I found the article you posted in that thread. It says exactly what I wrote above. Lawrence gives the usual "ah shucks I don't know what I am going to do after this season" routine (which every single top NFL draft pick in the country says in October before they declare in December). Then it quotes Roddy White from "The Big Lead" (whatever that is), but nowhere does it say anything about Lawrence actually seeking out White's counsel.

Would he still be at Clemson if NY had the #1 pick? We'll never know. But when you are the #1 overall, it is pretty rare you don't walk into a messed up situation, be it NYJ, Jax, Det, Clev, Houston, whatever.

 

[Jim Beankie]

It was still worth it.

It least with JAX there's the semblance of hope. Heck, 4 years ago they aaallllmost went to the SB with BORTLES, (although truth be told that one season was a diamond in a sea of shidt).

 

[bigballas]

It was still worth it.

define worth it? JAX is a **** show..not to say NYJetes better...but at least he could have made some bank in NYC with sponsors (subway or whatever is nice) JAX market is a joke and my boy Shahid Khan and his meddling son Tony havent shown they will make things any better in the next couple of years. i guess firing Meyers was a start....

 

[Ivan]

The Onion once ran a headline declaring “ Ground Emerges as Tebow’s Favorite Receiver”