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Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by BrickPat, Sep 9, 2015.

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  1. BrickPat

    BrickPat Third String But Playing on Special Teams

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    Congratulations if you're able to read this sentence because you are now qualified to be a "journalist" for ESPN and a default puppet for the NFL front office. Please fill this thread with unsubstantiated theories, articulate paranoia and conjecture from unnamed sources that we can pass on to ESPN.

    I'll start---

    1. An unnamed source at Bernie & Phyl's can now confirm Belichick once tore the tag off his mattress. Proof positive his wanton arrogance has no bounds.
    2. A now retired CA librarian who wishes to remain anonymous reports that Brady's dad returned a library book one day after due date in 1982. Clearly a bad influence.
    3. An unnamed villager reports the recently recovered wing section of that missing Malayasian plane contained gunpowder residue linked to a spent shell from Matt Light's charity skeet shoot. Light's jovial nature isn't fooling us anymore.
    4. On an unspecified date about 3 years ago Hooman cheated his server by only tipping 19.7% instead of the 20% accepted standard. The heartless TE apparently finds the working class unworthy of just compensation.
    5. Nate Solder left the bathroom seat up after using a unisex restroom in 2014. A female subsequently entered and had to lower the seat. This is irrefutable confirmation that Solder is a misogynist.
    6. ???
     
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    Last edited: Sep 9, 2015
  2. woolster22

    woolster22 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter Weekly Picks Winner

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    Tom Brady didn't even leave the jets a note after ****ing them. The jets claim he gave them herpes. Espn and Rodger Goodell are irate that Tom Brady's adultering ways gave them herpes. Anonymous source claims Jerry Jones has not returned Rodgers calls since being warned to get tested.

    Source close to Brady informed me that Tom does not have herpes.
     
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  3. FreeTedWilliams

    FreeTedWilliams Praying for SammyBlue Cat PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Bill Belichick once took Roger Goodell's mother out for a nice steak dinner and then NEVER called her again!
     
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  4. BrickPat

    BrickPat Third String But Playing on Special Teams

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  5. borg

    borg PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    News Flash:
    Roger Goodell caught in Yankees sauna with Jeter and Posada.
    Confirmed by unnamed sources (recent industry standards have been met....to the printer, to the interweb, to the google box)
     
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