The only massage I’ve ever had in my life was in Thailand and it was an all round horrible experience. Firstly I was with my wife so there wasn’t even the thought of getting the rub and tug!
The parlour owner put us both together in a room with 2 beds and said he’d be right back just needed to go and find two masseuse’.....
In walked this dainty wee doll about 15 mins later and starts working away on the wife. Then a couple minutes later a young gentleman walks in (I’m not homophobic but he was clearly that way inclined and shamefully it made me uncomfortable). Being taken unawares by this chastening experience when he asked if I wanted oil I said no thinking that was the better answer - not wanting oiled up by another bloke.....it basically meant I had a 30 minute Chinese burn all over the top half of my body! At one point whilst I was lying face down he climbed on and straddled me to work on the back of my neck (not in a sexual way like....but still) I’m a pretty shy person that hates making a scene but pretty often I think to myself why didn’t I just end it after 5 mins, walk out and wait for the Mrs!
I came out of the place ridiculously tense when I had walked in pretty relaxed and didn’t even need the massage!