Normally I would bemoan such a dark analysis, Captain, but since it is you why would I mock such legendary cynicism.
However since I am as optimistic as you are dark, allow me to put a bit more positive spin on the upcoming offensive team we should be seeing.
Don't forget, but as badly as the offense limped to its conclusion, they didn't abjectly suck for most of the season.
The OL, - last season - Started out WITHOUT 2 key performers in Andrews and Wynn. Add to that Cannon's and Mason's subpar year, it is hard to believe that the offense was able to move the ball at all last season.
The OL THIS season - Andrews is back, and when he's healthy, he's a top 10 C in the league (some say even better) Wynn, when he finally reentered the line up consistently show why he was a first round pick. And if you believe that Mason and Cannon's bad season was a result of nagging injuries, or just a down year, they have had enough good years to believe a rebound year is more than just possible.
Cajuste, Frodholt, Elumanour are all huge question marks as depth possibilities, but we've started successful seasons with bigger questions among the starters let alone the reserves.
I agree with Bedard that this could be one of the best OL's in the league this season.
I categorically disagree with your opinion of the WR position. Just health alone improves Sanu and Edelman's play to start the season. I also think Harry will become a much more effective receiver this season. IIRC big physical WR types tend to take a little longer to develop into effective WR's than quick twitch ones.
TE's- Well we know that it can't be worse than last year. So by definition, there is literally no bar at all to seeing improvement at this position. The UCLA kid is really intriguing and Keene is looks to to me at least to be a more athletic and versatile version of James Devlin.
RB's - The RB's are good, if not spectacular, and will greatly enjoy having the FB position back this season. Make no mistake, I can easily see the Pats being in the top 5 in running the football.
QB- HUGE questions of course. Cam could return to the form that made him one of most efficient QB's in the league 2 seasons ago, OR his arm could explode half way though TC.
Personally I still think Stidham is a year away from being ready to take over, but again, who knows how he will react to the opportunity of being able to compete for the job. I think POTENTIALLY he can be the LT answer, but we shall see.
In summary, I can't see a scenario where this offensive edition isn't going to be better than last seasons (injuries being the X factor of course)
Can't wait to see how it evolves....if they actually make it to the field and can stay on it. I think even you will be pleasantly surprised.