One of my airport experiences:
TSA Agent to me: "Um, sir, there's a hammer in your bag."
Me: "Oh, crap, I forgot all about that."
TSA Agent: "I'm afraid we can't allow that on the plane, sir."
Me (smiling): "I was just trying to be helpful, should there be any emergency carpentry necessary on the flight."
TSA Agent: (smiling): "Yes sir, and I'm sure the airline appreciates that. However, I'm fairly certain that wood has been replaced with other materials on all commercial flights about 100 years ago."
Me: "Thanks for the heads up on that. I guess one of you folks gets to add to your tool collection today."
TSA Agent: "No sir, unfortunately, we aren't allowed to keep any of the confiscated items."
Me: "That's a shame. Shall we see if one of those people over their on the way out would like it?"
TSA Agent: "I'd like to sir, but we are trying to move people through here."
Me: "OK, well, I have a couple more of these at home."
TSA Agent: "A good place for them, sir."