BB to Linda Just Now

[Actual Pats Fan]

The other guys remind me of all our opponents, and the league, and the media, and the other teams' fans, and the ladies on The View, and...

Eh, so what. So we walk away with another Lombardi trophy.

Which reminds me, you know if we do it then the whole narrative that it was all about Tom pretty much sinks into the ocean. It'll probably fire up a fresh batch of cheating allegations, including the repeat offenders balderdash. We're repeat victims.

And if we do it then yeah I'll be happy...but...it'll be maybe a few hours and we'll be right back that Monday morning to the grindstone plotting for a second straight. I know Bill will.

 

[Actual Pats Fan]

"Fix your %#8%ing team so I can go back on Instagram without getting heckled by your mouthbreather fans"

"I'm no more to blame for them than I am the flying elvis. That was my boss. He created them...and it."

"......and take the dog for a walk"

"I'm sorry, can you take him out please? I do need him back to stand in for me at the virtual league coaches' meeting at three. Thanks Babe."