You have two cows...(NFL version)

[PatsFanInVa]

Re: You have two cows... (NFL version)

Eric Mangini

You have two cows, but you got them in New England. Now the New York media thinks it's natural that you can get another cow in New York, but they'll be hoping that until the cows come home.

 

[psychoPat]

Re: You have two cows... (NFL version)

PacMan Jones

You strew bagfuls of dollar bills in front of your cow-rus girls.

<ouch>

 

[KoolAidDrinker]

Re: You have two cows... (NFL version)

BB:

You have two cows. You are asked if the cows are going to be in the meadow(lands).

You say "It's day to day. We'll do what' we think is right for the herd. Right now we're just trying to get out of the barn, take it one milking at a time, and all that. It's as simple as that. It really is."

 

[KoolAidDrinker]

Re: You have two cows... (NFL version)

The Herd:

You have two cows. You are asked if the cows are going to be in the meadow(lands).

You say "It's day to day. We'll do what' we think is right for the herd. Right now we're just trying to get out of the barn, take it one milking at a time, and all that. It's as simple as that. It really is."

 

[old 55]

Catch Me If You Can - You have two cows. They fall into a huge vat of cream. The 1st cow gives up and drowns. The second cow struggles until turning the cream to butter and walks out. Which cow are you?

 

[Seven Nation Army]

Donovan McNabb
You have two cows. One of them eyes your starting job.

Carson Palmer
You have two surgically repaired cows.

Art Modell
You had two cows, but you will always be hated for moving them to a different barn.

John Madden
BOOM! You have two cows. In your senility you forget you had them. You ramble on about LaDanian Tomlinson.

Jack del Rio
You have two very similar cows. You send one to slaughter and hope the other gives enough milk. You strap on pads and play middle linebacker for the Jags. Life is good.

Peter King
You have two cows. You want to describe their beauty, but you qualify your prose so much ("almost awesome"?!) nobody understands you. You have a cup of Starbucks coffee. You state the obvious. You have another cup of Starbucks coffee. You talk about the Sopranos. You have some more coffee.

 

[Dom]

The AFC East:

Bill Belichick refuses to confirm or deny whether or not he has any cows.

**** Jauron has two cows, but frankly nobody cares.

Eric Mangini has one cow and enough rare steak to feed him for about a week.

Cam Cameron has two cows. Sadly one has never given any milk before and the other thinks it's a chicken. He does have a small goat that can run 4.31 second 40 though...

Bits from the rest of the NFL:

Peyton Manning has two cows and both of them tackle better than the Colt's defensive linemen.

Mike Shanahan has two cows. One of them rushes for 1000 yards.

The Houston Texans have only one cow, and that's the one on the side of their helmets.

San Diego has about fifteen cows. Sadly Norv Turner can't work out how to milk them.

The Giants have two cows which won't produce milk because they don't respect the farmer.

The Cardinal appear to have a herd of cows, but on closer inspection they turn out to be made of cardboard.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Peyton Manning:

You have one cow. Tom Brady has the other three. Life ain't fair.

 

[Frezo]

Rodney Harrison:
You have two cows. They are both very, very healthy.

Pete Sheppard:
You have two cows, but nobody can tell.

 

[fgssand]

The question is how will we get these two cows to Arizona in February? Need to book early I guess.

 

[mcbee]

Stupidest start of thread ever, but I like how some people took it and ran with it.

The original poster should be horse whipped, IMO.

 

[BadMoFo]

Roger Goddell
You have two cows. You suspend them.

Tom Brady
You have two cows. They become pregnant.

Bill Belichick
You have two cows. You sell them both and replace them with low-cost free agent cows. You win the Super Bowl. Life is good.

Robert Kraft
You have many cows. You consolidate all meat and dairy authority behind Bill Belichick. You go to lunch. Life is good.

You take the prize as jackass of the season. Congrats.

 

[Box_O_Rocks]

San Diego has about fifteen cows. Sadly Norv Turner can't work out how to milk them.

San Diego has about fifteen cows.

- Which leaves them unexpectedly puzzled when they find the team is up to it's neck in Bull manure.

- A.J. Smith hires a steer to breed them.

- A.J. Smith hires a milkman, only to learn the title relates to product delivery and not dairy management.

- Many of them won ribbons at the fair, for beef and showmanship categories.

- They're "California Cows," they look good in cheese commercials.