All the Patriots representatives at the coin flip have spent thousand of hours learning "sleight of hand" from skilled magicians. The result is this:
Obviously, since it's more likely than not this is just another means by which the Patriots have cheated in the past, I want asterisks!!! Take all their draft picks!!! And fine the Patriots, Belichick, and every player who's gone out for the toss during this obvious cheating period beaucoup bucks!!!
And from now on, make sure the Patriots players have their hands tied and are also wearing strait jackets for the coin toss. And super slowmo film it as well. And have skilled magicians supervising the Patriots coin toss reps because they would be best able to tell if the Patriots players, even with their hands tied and wearing strait jackets, have learned to pull off some Houdini ****. The lengths you have to go to to put a stop to these cheatin bastids!
What kind of example are these fiends setting for our children???!!!