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The Mangini apocalypse

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by PonyExpress, Oct 2, 2007.

  1. PonyExpress

    PonyExpress In the Starting Line-Up

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    I had a football vision of the future today. A sad, tragic vision regarding the future of the Mangini regime in New York. Even as a Patriot fan, who truly despises Mangini's minions for reasons well-known and too numerous to mention, as a human being I felt moved, overcome by the total on-field devastation of the Jet franchise I witnessed in my vision.

    I saw Mangina, gaining, gaining weight, ordering more donuts with each loss, his team battling, but failing, failing to make the playoffs this season... and on the other side of the country, in the heartland, the outcast, the despised, the mocked and belittled Herman Edwards rising, rising, leading his team to the postseason. I saw Jet fans gnashing their teath, howling at the moon at this cruel turn of the Wheel of Fortune. How could "Mangenius" produce worse results than the famously incompetent rube he had replaced?

    Then I saw a draft room, a green war room in turmoil. A potential franchise Qb is on the board... Shall we pull the trigger? A rich bald man wants to do it, Pennington's time is finished. But Mangini tells the room, "We believe in Kellen Clemens! He is the answer!" And the franchise Qb slides by, landing in a sunnier, more fortunate locale.

    So Pennington, the forlorn warrior with heart and grit but the arm of a teenage girl, packs up his gear and is brusquely escorted out of the facility... the door slams. A bugle blows, heralding Kellen Clemens as the next annointed football savior.

    A new season opens... but Clemens, the man for whom the green mob had pined for so long, struggles like so many 1st year starters. He has his own quirks and inexplicable errors in judgment, particularly in the clutch.. he seems to freeze with the money on the table, happy feet emerge, doubts grow, whispers run through the stands. Elsewhere golden boy franchise Qbs, Qbs whom the Jets could have drafted, excel on the big stage. Mangini's green pawns miss the postseason again, falling to 3rd place behind even the ascending Bills, guided by their wily coach Jauron and up and coming gamer Trent Edwards.

    And so the 4th year of Mangini's quest begins. The 3-4 Defense has been a disaster by any objective measure, the "genius" label is a running joke in the locker room, impatient fans become abusive, the weight gain becomes fair game, and Mangini begins to waddle, and wobble. An edict from the owner descends like a weak fist on a mahogany desk: "Playoffs or bust!" Just playoffs? What happened to visions of Sbs, and division titles? What happened to taking down the Patriots, and ruining the man who taught him everything, and by whose indulgence and wisdom Mangini made millions for his family? Those dreams are out the window. Now it's about survival, and survival alone... but the foundation is weak, the QB has feet of clay, and Mangini tumbles, tumbles... he is gone, diappearing in the mire like so many other failed Frankenstein experiments in Jet history... falling, falling, the wreckage of so many grand illusions. Another regime is introduced, another pied piper smirks, another snake oil salesman opens his suitcase to sell the latest gadget, another "5 year plan" pronounced, and the long Jet death march continues, another lost decade in the football wilderness.

    I see a spanking new stadium with horrified fans, green bags over faces, futility, mockery... I have seen the future and it is... DESPAIR! O, the Horror!

    Jet fans, It's not too late to seek a newer world! You're not that far away from New England! You can claim your aunt is from Connecticut! There's still time to switch allegiances, and plenty of room on our burgeoning bandwagon! Nobody will think worse of you! Join us now! We're all patriots, after all. Your life will be so much happier, your monday mornings a joy, your sunday afternoon's pure heaven, your children smiling in swaddling of red white and blue instead of that nauseating, putrid green.

    Jet fans, join us while there's still time to avoid another decade of misery and heartache!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2007
  2. Kdo5

    Kdo5 Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract

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    That would be perfect. They deserve it...the ratty bastards. :)
     
  3. Frezo

    Frezo In the Starting Line-Up

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    #50 Jersey

    Excellent! "Wily coach Jauron"...too funny! I toast you!
     
  4. patpatriot

    patpatriot Banned

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    Niiccceee!!! I like your style. Keep it coming!
     
  5. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    Nice piece. I would consider it a public service message to everyone in the land of the Green Beans.
     
  6. danny88

    danny88 Banned

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    Haha we could post it in every tacky neighborhood in Jersey and Long Island. Rat finks.

    All the jets fans in there wind pant suits and wanna be soprano get ups would be thrilled.
     
  7. Mogamedogz

    Mogamedogz In the Starting Line-Up

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    #80 Jersey

    Bwhahahahahahahahaahaha!!!!! I cant breathe!!! That was freaking CLASSIC!!

     
  8. PatriotsReign

    PatriotsReign Hall of Fame Poster

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    #18 Jersey

    The QB Mangini lets slide will be BC QB, Matt Ryan who'll be picked up by the Dolphins. Althought the Phins will still fall short vs. the Patriots, they'll own the Jets for the next 5 years!
     
  9. D-cleater

    D-cleater Third String But Playing on Special Teams

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    So it is written, so shall it be done.

    This was indeed good. I was being shortsighted myself, I'd only been thinking about the next time we play the Jets, how might we humiliate them? Run up the score, sure, put the second team in for the last few drives of the game, send Pennington/Clemens out on a stretcher.

    Great stuff. Can we have a similar outlook for the dolphins, titans, or SD?
     
  10. hughthehand

    hughthehand On the Roster

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    Great story.

    I dont think Mangini will get the chance to see the inside of the Jets war room for another draft.

    I have a feeling he is done after this year.
     
  11. bishbash

    bishbash On the Game Day Roster

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    Resistance is Futile!
    [​IMG]
     
  12. reflexblue

    reflexblue PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #91 Jersey

    By PE
    "

    Jet fans, It's not too late to seek a newer world! You're not that far away from New England! You can claim your aunt is from Connecticut! There's still time to switch allegiances, and plenty of room on our burgeoning bandwagon! Nobody will think worse of you! Join us now! We're all patriots, after all. Your life will be so much happier, your monday mornings a joy, your sunday afternoon's pure heaven, your children smiling in swaddling of red white and blue instead of that nauseating, putrid green."

    Jet fans, join us while there's still time to avoid another decade of misery and heartache!



    YES, Come to the DARK SIDE, On second thought who wants a RATS FAN. :D
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2007
  13. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    We are the TRUTH and the LIGHT, not the dark side. I'll take Jest fans as converts, no problem. We can assimilate them easily.
     
  14. reflexblue

    reflexblue PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #91 Jersey

    Tune I'm speaking in language they can relate to. WE are the DARK SIDE to them. The Evil Empire of football.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2007

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